To ask how much of your shit you have together?

[surlycurly]

So at the moment I've got about 80% of my shit together. I'm curious as to how that compares with other people. The 80% figure would come from having a decent job/ car etc and although I'm not rolling in cash, I do have enough to provide a decent life for us. My kids are good and I'm happy with who I am. 20% not 'sorted' would come from not owning my own home and I think I am reaching the end of my relationship, but for me I'm pretty good right now. AIBU to ask how this compares?

Well it also depends on your definition of having your shit together! I don't own my own house but I don't want to! (unless I won the lottery and could buy it outright! lol). So that wouldn't be a negative percentage for me. Likewise, happy to be single at the moment. If I look at the way I want my life to be, then I'm about 80% there.

I'm not too stressed about the house but the place I'm renting may have to go on the market so that's not resolved. I think 80% is good but in terms of general adulting I wonder if it's enough?

I'd be surprised if many people hit 100%. Even then, things can change, redundancy, marriage break up, illness etc. I think 80% is pretty good.

Five years ago I was the other way around so I feel pretty good with that.

I think that actually it's very subjective and about what you are prioritising (or should). e.g. my instinctive response there was to say about 40-50% shit together, mainly because I'm worried about my relationship - but wtaf, how is that up to 60% of my shit?

Hearing you say yours is probably ending but only assigning that a maximum 20% value of your shit really puts that in perspective for me, in a good way - your priorities and emphasis are clearly better balanced than mine! for your relationship troubles regardless however x

I have a good job, I have a great 18 month old kid, I live and work and have her nursery all within a 10 minute radius around a big gorgeous park. We've just bought a house on an affordable mortgage and are doing it up just how we want it. Surely that's at least 80% of my shit together, objectively? But I let things that are actually far less important loom too large, I think, as my priorities and mental state aren't fantastic. So I don't feel very together.

On the debit side, I'm not in good physical health as I'm sleep deprived and run down so get every germ going, and I'm not in good shape as I never really was and made zero effort to 'snap back' after childbirth. And, as I say, I'm very concerned about my relationship. These are the things I need to get together. I also just lost my mum to suicide so that is a big debit in the mental togetherness column - on the other hand, it's also an object lesson in how important it is to keep proportionate perspective and not allow your worries and hang-ups to take over and stop you seeing the good things and successes and possibilities in your life.

This is an interesting question and it has made me think a lot more clearly about things because I have been down quite a bit recently, but if I put a % on it, I’d have to say I’m probably 85%. My only real concerns are debt (which should be gone in 5 years) and my adult kids not being settled. So not bad really.

95% have, cars, House, second property, good job, and own business. Not loads of money but enough. We also have food and fuel stored just in case.

5% would like the mortgage paid off and a financial buffer. By the time I am 38

Umm... maybe 60?
But happiness? 99.9%. I don't own my home and my car is a decade old (hubby's is 9yrs) and we live paycheque to paycheque but honestly? Life is wonderful. My husband is amazing and my three children make me proud as punch every single day. Hell even my cat is awesome. She makes us laugh constantly cos she's a total loon.

Things can always be better, have more shit together. I could own my own place. I could have a new car and a well paying career. I could have savings and a good pension but getting all that shit together could mean I miss out on a life I enjoy.

I used to worry about getting my shit together, then I fell in love , 10 years ago, we are still in love , and tell each other every day, that's all that matters really

So sorry about your mum, Ennirem .

Five years ago I'd have been at 10% - if that. Now I'd say about 90%. Single & childfree through choice, career I love, renting a flat, debt-free & building savings. The final 10% would be buying my own place, which I'm planning to do in 5-10 years' time.

Having ones shit together is relative to an individuals perception of what parts of life are most important. Lots of factors too like age. A 25 year old may say having kids has a 5% shit togetherness score while a 35 year old may give it a 60% shit togetherness score.

Interesting question which gave me pause for thought.. I'd say about 80% shit together. Have lots of stuff I always wanted.. husband, 2 kids, house, good job, decent savings etc. But 20% of me feels there is sooo much I still want to achieve and experience and I don't have the savings put away yet that I'm going to need to fund all of my priorities: (1) children's education, (2) my and husbands retirement and (3) parents retirement.

On the practical side, pretty good, reckon about 85% - nice house, mortgage on track to clear, good job, pension etc.

Personally though, its a fucking disaster. Recent long term r'ship split, no social life whatsoever, feel like a total failure.

I suspect my need for practical security arose out of the shitshow of not having anything else to do with my time.

Suppose it's all relative though, isn't it.
I'm happy that I've got the big shit together - good job, own home, child doing well, good work life balance, nice holidays - but on a day to day level, I'm flying by the seat of my pants - I leave lots of things to the last minute, house a bit messy, not sure what's for tea etc.

I am 31 , have 3 children I raise alone , no family , no real friends , just finishing a degree and no job . I have a very cheap car ...As a girl I did not want my life to be this way, I actually wrote a note of what I wanted as an adult , firstly I was going to pass all my GCSES and stay on in 6 th form and then go to uni but I had to drop out of school at age 14 because I was mentally unwell. I hope this makes you feel good about your own situation .

Plus there are gender variations. I have my shit together a lot less in the PMS days. Someone needs to do a proper graph with all the variables. Not me though I have stuff to do. Lots of stuff.

Just to add, my DBIL and DSIL are experts of shit together. Career, new cars, 2 kids and almost paid up mortgage and savings/pensions but they're just so... sad all the time. Tired and frustrated and grumpy. Kids who had spent a life in daycare sun-up to sun-down and they both struggle to control/deal with them when they're home with them. I love them dearly but it's not the life for me. I guess it'll pay off in their older years but for now it seems too much.

I’m at about 65%. My marriage is solid and my children are happy and thriving. They go to a lovely private school. We own our home and have no money worries. We have lovely friends, and we travel a lot to nice places and stay in expensive hotels. Our cleaner comes three mornings a week.

However, I am fat, which makes me feel disgusting constantly. I’m working on that but it’s slow. I also have chronic pain and that wears me down so much. We have no family support and in fact my extended family situation is quite stressful. I am recently bereaved and not dealing with it well. My DCs are in school so I have plenty of “me” time and I have big plans to exercise, volunteer, go to museums, and cultivate hobbies, but I usually waste it watching Netflix and reading MN. (I am not proud of this.)

I am so lucky to have what I have and I don’t take it for granted, but it’s hard sometimes not to get caught up in the shitty stuff.

Far too subjective to answer.

At the moment about 25% because I'm suffering with pregnancy sickness and can barely function as a human! Generally it's about 70% could always have a bit more money and own a house!

It goes up and down but it’s never ever 100%. There’s always something stressing me out or going wrong.

I’ve got all the basics covered but I keep getting minor but still massively annoying health issues such as bad sciatica which stops me being as active as I like. ☹️

Kids, husband and material stuff is all peachy though so can’t complain really.

I reckon about 85%. I wish I could make more of my business and taking steps to achieve that with some new training. Young DCs make some things harder! DHs job is well paid but making him miserable so that would bring a bit more shit together!

I reckon I have about 70% of my shit together. I have a good job and I own my own home and have a decent car. I'm married and my husband's a delight. I have plenty of good friends and my family (and DH's) are great.

On the other hand we have no DCs yet (currently TTC) and not a huge amount in savings, plus we are paying back parents for their help in purchasing said home. So could be a lot more financially secure, and want kids to complete the picture.

Good. Yes, I have stress and crap was in my life but we have a nice, big enough for us house. It's nothing special or big, but it's home and our village is lovely.

Kids are thriving and I'm so proud of them. Hubby is lovely. We make a good team.

Got a new job from September. Financial improvement there. We have equity, some savings and are comfortable enough.

Lots to do on my fitness, mental health (thanks, family) need a makeover, house needs bootcampibg again etc and solidifying savings but all in all, shit is mostly together......most of the time.