To ask how much of your shit you have together?

[surlycurly]

So at the moment I've got about 80% of my shit together. I'm curious as to how that compares with other people. The 80% figure would come from having a decent job/ car etc and although I'm not rolling in cash, I do have enough to provide a decent life for us. My kids are good and I'm happy with who I am. 20% not 'sorted' would come from not owning my own home and I think I am reaching the end of my relationship, but for me I'm pretty good right now. AIBU to ask how this compares?

I own a house (mortgaged to the hills), have a car, married and a decent career so not bad on that front. Not rolling in cash and dip into overdraft every month.

On the other hand I can't keep my house clean, can't keep on top of laundry (even though there's only two of us) and live my life in a messy and disorganised panic.

Well there are some really interesting answers here! It is indeed a subjective question and I know from personal experience that it ebbs and flows. I suppose I just wanted to know if I'm appreciating the place I'm in enough? Or if not owning my own home is as big a deal as some people would have me believe?

And for those of you who are struggling then please accept a heartfelt pat on the back. Grief, particularly, can make you feel horribly adrift. Having had a horrible time about ten years ago that lasted far too long, I know how lost and broken one can feel. to you that need them.

Some days I think I've got my shit together 100% and I absolutely love my life. Other days not so much. Today I'm at about 20% together. Mainly because I ate a bowl of cereal without DS (13wks) crying.

Interesting. I'd say 90-95% together for this stage of my life. Ideally we'd have a bit more money but that's because of childcare costs at the moment so it's a "grin and bear it" time. I wish I felt more confident as a mum though.

I used to have it all about 8 years ago.
Own home etc.
Now we have nothing. No money, we are on the verge of eviction from a rented property.
Life can change so fast.

30% sorted, maybe?
I have a semi-decent job I love, but in the process of being discreetly shuffled to one side to make way for an ambitious new team member who's an old friend of the manager.
I'm single, never had a "proper" relationship, in £30k of debt and still living with my mother (due to bailing her out constantly and taking out loans in my name that she "would definitely pay back", though galling ly most people's immediate assumption is that I sponge off her). I have no social life and no real friends, and I'm fast approaching 30.
That said, I'm in a better position than most of my family, who are all struggling with their own issues. But then if I could do anything it would be to help pull some of them out, whereas now I just feel helpless.

But I have my health, family and a home and job. I know there are people far worse off than I am even in this country, let alone in countries where there is famine, war, violence etc.

As pp have said, seeing others responses helps put things into perspective.

Some days I have my shit together and I’m the best I can possibly be. Other days I have so little of it together that I lose my shit entirely. Swings and roundabouts though I guess?! 😂

I have a good job some of the time but can go for a while without work. We are skint, in loads of debt and, although our house isn't too bad it's not ours - we're housing association tennants and are about 4 weeks behind with rent. We have two kids who're doing okay at school. So we probably have about 10% of our 'shit' together.

I’d say 99%. Nice car, nice home, good savings, amazing job, very good prospects, happy marriage.

Taking 1% off as House is still mortgaged. Have good equity though.

All that said, that 99% is at this moment in time. All it takes is one bad investment, an accident, redundancy, or an affair and it’ll all come toppling down so I don’t get too attached to the idea of having it all.

Currently about 40% although I have a plan and am working on another 20% so not complete chaos but definitely room for improvement

Maybe 50%

Have nearly paid off mortgage, secure marriage (I think) and two healthy children past the early years.

But we have significant health problems, a very sick family member and also I'm on long term sick benefits and DH very up and down self employment. So quite a mixed bag really.

66% I think?
Pros - happily married with adorable 2yr old, am ‘good’ at doing instragram worthy mum stuff and enjoy it - eg DS and I spent the morning doing yoga. Have always been a healthy weight. Am currently on my second masters degree.

Cons - still renting and we need to move house and town by the beginning of September. Am struggling to find a part time job that fits around uni, if I don’t find one soon am not going to be able to pay my expensive train fare to said uni, Am absolutely scraping through the masters degree - have to do 2 resits this summer. I would also like to be a better friend to my friends but have no disposable income, time or emotional energy so only end up seeing the ones with toddlers who are happy to go for picnics and talk about mum things as I have no idea about music/movies/culture anymore.

I'd say about 95%.

Lovely partner, lots of qualifications, professional job, mortgage free house, loan free cars, no debts, £200k in savings, good health, good relationship with both our families, good friends, hobbies, pets, both able to cook and look after the house and garden.

I need to lose a bit of weight, although I am currently working on that!

@chickenowner go you! You're the adult I aspire to be

Hmmm, i’d Say about 70%.it’s an interesting question to ask yourself. I have ana awesome DS and the financial/asset/career stuff is under control. But I am overweight and unfit and can’t get my shit together to face it and I haven’t had a relationship for years. I guess the stuff I have prioritised is nailed down, the rest is coming to the top of the to do list.

I'd say 50%. Decent job, lovely DH, nice holidays, a decent amount in savings, but I'm still learning to drive and we're not really sure where we'll live long-term. I'm also still not sure where I want my career to go. So yes, lots to be grateful for but still lots to figure out too.

I was gonna say 80% but then I realised that my pension is a pile of non-existent shit and if I really had my shit together, that would be in place.

So I will reduce my 80% figure to 40% based on the fact I have a good job, nice house, kids are happy and healthy, dog seems content, manage on my own, have a gorge bf........but if I lost my job, I'd be fucked. And if I get old (I'm not gonna am I?) then I'm also fucked.

Oh, I'm thin - didn't realise that was one to put on the 'shit together' stuff so I will up my 40% to 42%

Dunno...
80%.

On the plus side, I have a lovely husband and child. We don’t have any debt. I have a relatively well paid job. We are in our forever home and have paid a reasonable amount of the mortgage. I have lots of friends, and a great family.

On the minus side: I’m ugly and fat (size 16-18 so not massive). I’m quite unfit. We don’t have a massive amount of savings (but we are working towards building them up). Our house needs totally redecorated. I’m knackered all the time. The main downside to my life though is a fight with mental health issues; they come and go.

But, I don’t think anyone’s life is 100% perfect

Except chickenowner above. Who I’m planning to befriend and then ask her for a
Loan lol

Was 100% on top of things 25-40; shit hit the fan; trying to get my shit together in the over 50 club at probably 35% now

Probably about 10%

I don't own a house, don't drive (can't, no stereoscopic vision) and don't have a job, pension or life insurance.

Dp has all of those things (except a car) and various bits of paper that give me most of the protections of marriage because we have a child. (basically everything is willed to me and we have written agreement that I won't be totally shafted if we ever spilt though I can't see that happening)

My house is a tip currently as it's far too hot for housework, my skin, hair and weight are all awful.

I'm looking for work now too since dc will be in full time school in September.

My relationships are all good though and I'm happy so I shall continue to wing it for now.

but wtaf, how is that up to 60% of my shit?. Love that!

When you posed the question I was thinking of actual day to day stuff!

Eyebrows rarely waxed, could do with getting in top of piles for crap - hose rarely tidy, garden needs work!

So not really 'together'

60% together - get dressed and get to work, kids to school, dog fed, rest just wings it on a day to day basis

So interesting reading everyone else’s stories and perspectives! I initially thought maybe 50%... now reading all of these, people are mentioning things I have and am not grateful enough for! Definitely made me think!! I’m almost 30, very happily married to my best friend, we have a gorgeous daughter and I’m pregnant again. I have a successful and well paid career which I always dreamt of having. We own our own house and have nice cars, latest gadgets, go out lots for fancy meals, lovely holidays abroad etc We are both physically fit and train/ hike/ swim together often. Our family time is harmonious and makes me very happy. We also have a lovely dog and live in a good area near to my wonderful in-laws who we are very close to. Still to work on - my “parents” aren’t very nice and my sister is even worse; i want to move again to a “forever home”; I’m waiting for this baby to be born safely and healthily and to get back into shape again.

So probably 75%!