To ask if there is anyone out there that finds being a mum soooooo hard?

[Namechangemum100]

I'm 30, have 2 DC, DD is 18 months and ds is 4 months.

I love my children, I really do, but I find being a mum so damn hard.

Everyday is a slog, and I often wonder how on earth I am going to make it to the end of the day.

The days are long....sooooo long

Baby groups are boring, and full of mums who just seem to love every minute of it.

Days are filled with meaningless tasks like going to a shopping centre just to buy a new grobag even though you could have bought it online but at least it gave your day some kind of a purpose.

Everyone around me seems to love it, seems to cope, dreads their children growing up, and I'm just here wondering when my life will ever resemble something somewhat normal. Where days aren't filled with screaming, crying, picking up, putting down, picking up again, nappies, food that doesn't get eaten, mess...eugh it's never ending.

Please tell me it's not just me...please!

We have the same life 🙄 I love my son (7 months old), but being on mat leave bores me to tears. I have 10 years of career behind me and multiple postgraduate qualifications, and yet yesterday, the most exciting thing I did was get the car valeted.
I'm so tired I literally forget words. I can feel myself becoming less intelligent every day!

So, I'm going to write a book. I know what I want to write about. And it's my mission. And it's not going to be 200 pages of me sighing "No, you can't eat the plastic"... cue screams

I feel your pain

Mine are 4 years and 8 months and I'm finding it bloody hard work!! My four year old got to a point where I thought yeah I'm ready to give him a sibling, but now with days like today I'm like this is too hard to cope with! The hours drag by.... My 8 month old teething n refusing naps I was stressed out by 8.30am!! Having a lot of mum guilt for my 4 year old as he starts full time school in September and I'm so snappy and tired all the time :( holding onto the hope also that it gets easier!! Ur not alone xx

@sar302...same here, busy career running own business, gave it all up to be a sahm. I know it will be rewarding in the long run (I hope)...but on a daily basis it is so unfulfilling 😒

It's hard, it's raising humans and all the sheer pressure and responsibility that comes with that is immense.
I don't think there's honestly one parent alive who hasn't looked at their beloved child at least once and thought "a house plant might have been an easier decision"

You are in the trenches. Trenches aren't pretty, fun, or easy. It will get better. Daylight will come.

Meeee!!!

I have the same age gap as you do OP between my two DDs. The youngest is coming up to a year and is so mobile that nothing is safe. The eldest dropped her naps pretty much the day her sister was born

But I'm back at work next week!

I love my little girls so much but I definitely find parenthood very difficult.

I didn't like having 2 under 2 either. No matter how much you adore them, it can be very frustrating and repetitive. It gets better all the time though. Just take it a day at a time and remember that it really won't always be like that.

You're not alone in feeling this way.

Hurrah, I have found someone in my situation. Mine are 3 months and 20 months. I can't leave the house with them because the baby hates car seat, slings, prams etc. and my toddler wants to walk. Neither will go in the £400 double buggy we purchased. Both will need feeding, changing or sleep at different times, or the same time but only when it's highly inconvenient, like needing to leave the car urgently for an appointment.

I only leave the house with at least 1 other adult but ideally 2-3 because my children are both clingy and needy. I don't attend baby groups because I don't really like them and I don't know how I would manage the logistics of feeding the baby and watching the toddler without wandering around with my boob hanging out. I just want it to be over now.

@wtfdidwedo...yep I feel you. My DD is only happy on her trike, but have nowhere to put Ds as he isn't particularly fond of the sling and it's too hot anyway. Ds is happiest in his doona caraway stroller, but nowhere for DD and she is too little to walk...so they both go in the double pram which they both hate, so all 3 of us are out and about hating life...it's fun.

Days are filled with meaningless tasks like going to a shopping centre just to buy a new grobag even though you could have bought it online but at least it gave your day some kind of a purpose.

That made me laugh-so true. I once hid the foil so I could drive to Tesco and get some more and just get out of the house.

@wtfdidwedo...oh and I have no family close by, so during the week whilst dh is at work most trips are solo...and they are hell.

WTF- I remember that stage. I used to go to playgroups with the baby in the sling and just let the toddler run around. Getting around is v tough though, so I can understand how you feel.

Yep- a trip to Asda was like a special treat...!

Yep, 6yr old and 20 month old, since pick up from holiday camp and childminder, I've been whinged at from 4:30-7pm.
It's hot, they're tired, I'm tired, urgh. At least they go to sleep relatively early!

You are in the really shit bit. It stops when they go to school! I now enjoy their company a lot.

Is nursery an option so you can have a break or return to work? Getting a part time job saved my sanity when mine was 8 months!

Gosh you've brought back memories, yes you are in the thick of it, yes it's dull, yes its tedious and you think your life is over and you're sick of wiping arses and you're pissed off at the women with babies being all successful and seemingly 'having it all' but hang on in there.... Mine are now 9 and 10, my career is back on track, I'm in one room mumsnetting and drinking wine and they are in the other room playing BY THEMSELVES. Looking back I'm bloody proud of the way I handled those hard years. You can do it.

No your not alone, I love my DD 3 and DS 8 months more than anything however, its hard. Sometimes I just want to sit in silence on my own and then sometimes I will think ohh today has actually been OK just to have the next day throw god knows what my way. I wouldn't change them for anything but it's not easy. I find those people who constantly say how much they love being a parent and seemingly go through every day with ease and such joy really frustrating. I find each stage as they are growing comes with its own ups and downs but there definitely is more time to yourself the older they get so hopefully you can start to feel better over time. Is it worth getting in touch with something like Mind Matters (if your in the UK) to see if there is any support they can offer?

For me twenty months between two siblings felt like my brain had been stewed but it massively turned a corner when DC2 could sit up and DC1 started to “converse”. These started at around the same time.

You are not alone. I feel exactly the same, 3 year old and newborn. 2 under 2 - unthinkable for me, I couldn’t manage any smaller age gap as I found the first soooo hard. I always looked at other mums and thought why is it just me that finds this hard. What you are feeling is normal because it is bloody hard!!!! It will pass. Hugs x

Haha. Mine were 16 months apart. When the youngest was 4 months I was so bored I did a ludicrous long haul flight to visit sister to get the hell out of looking after them at home. Then begged my boss to let me back to work. Love them to pieces but no way would I stay on mat leave for more than 6
Months. Not good for me and not good for them.... agree it gets easier when the youngest hits 3. Until then do whatever it takes to survive. Including going back to work!

I just want to say thank you for your post.
7 month old and just turned three year old here and I’m full of Mum guilt wishing I was a better mum. I’m lonely, exhausted and bored out of my brains. Not because there’s nothing to do, there’s loads to do around the house but I just want to use my brain and talk to adults. And have some peace! I resent my husband hugely who gets to go out to work every day (cool quiet office of just him and his business partner) and nothing in his life has changed yet he still gets to have two kids without putting in the daily slog at home. Not his fault. But how I feel.
I love my boys but it is relentless at the moment

Same here. 16 month old and 7 week old

Seriously, I have no idea how I'm surviving the days but keep telling myself it won't last. Doesn't help that the littlest one will not stop crying. And all my family live abroad

We will look back on this, feeling like superheroes I'm sure

It's very hard on both my husband and me. Also boring and I don't get bored easily.

Went to my first baby and mum group recently. I thought it was where I was supposed to meet other Mums and get some grown up talk. All the group did was focus on the baby the whole time. I can do that every day at home for free!!!!!!

Mine are older now, I don't find it hard as such, what I do find hard is the constant doubting myself and worrying I'm not doing a good enough job.