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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to move to another country?

146 replies

HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:09

Before Brexit kicks in?

I know, I know, scaremongering yada yada. And I’m not saying I want to flee whatever the cost because I’m soooo scared of what will happen after we leave the EU. Maybe it will be fine..? I think best case scenario is it will be quite hard for a bit but will get sorted out in time. So still not all that great, unless one has a good reason to stay? That’s my theory at least.

So, the thing is, I am entitled to and could easily apply for two passports other than British. One (non EU) because I was born there and also an EU country, because one of my parents was born there. I also have some family still in the EU country. I have no family in England. DH does, but we don’t see very much of them at all. It’s quite complicated, but there is a lot of favouritism towards dh’s sibling and it’s quite hurtful. DH doesn’t seem to mind tbh, but I find it really sad and am hurt on his behalf.

DH has a very good job in London, but in a precarious industry. He is a professional and has a charter ship etc so skills are theoretically transferable. I am just about to go back to work, as a low earner, but in a job I could do, pretty much anywhere. We have a fairly big mortgage. One I absolutely couldn’t pay I Dh lost his job. We also bought at almost peak price so would only get a little more than what we paid for it if we sold now. After fees we would get back about what we paid for it. If we end up in negative equity and dh has no job... well you see the problem.

The best reason to stay is that dh’s job may not even be effected by Brexit and then if I’ve encouraged him to leave it to move elsewhere and he can’t get back into his profession there, I imagine that would cause a lot of resentment.

Dh sees no reason to leave and is very calm about everything. But he can be a bit too calm sometimes.

AIBU to think we, in our specific circumstances, should move to another country? Not asking if everyone should vacate the uk or anything!

OP posts:
HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:12

*chartership
*if he lost his job

Sorry, on my phone.

OP posts:
BrandNewHouse · 26/07/2018 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WarPigeon · 26/07/2018 12:15

You are being a drama queen to be honest.

Unless of course your planning a move to the Maldives, then I’d say hurrah go for it! (Until global warming destroys the atols of course)

LeighaJ · 26/07/2018 12:16

YABU for not posting this in the Brexit section.

HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:17

Unless of course your planning a move to the Maldives, then I’d say hurrah go for it! (Until global warming destroys the atols of course)

Ha! True story.

Language - not a problem.

Dependents - yes, we have two dcs.

DH - sees no reason to leave and says we spend a lot of money, so he needs to hang on to his job. My theory is that we should more elsewhere, spend a lot less money and not be completely reliant on just his salary. I find this quite scary seeing how precarious his industry is.

OP posts:
HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:18

leigha

It’s very particular to just my family, so not really something I need people getting into Brexit vs remain debates all over. I think I’ve been quite clear about that.

OP posts:
blueangel1 · 26/07/2018 12:21

TBH, if I could claim dual nationality and get another EU passport, then I would. It could be very handy if it really does all turn to shit over here.

HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:23

*move elsewhere

Ffs autocorrect!

Yes, passport application for EU country is ready to go. Just need photos and a bank statement! Should do that today really. Dh supportive of me doing this.

OP posts:
Quietrebel · 26/07/2018 12:24

Noticed a few posters have decided to play thread police today...

TooTrueToBeGood · 26/07/2018 12:27

They're not going to build an impenetrable wall round the UK. You'll still be able to leave after Brexit if your worst fears are realised so why not just wait and see?

TooTrueToBeGood · 26/07/2018 12:28

And giving up a good job because there's an unquantifiable risk it might be lost seems strange.

HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:29

TooTrue

Because after Brexit my family may not be able to move to an EU country with me, without visas. I think? Is that not the whole point? I’m confused about what’s supposed to be happening after Brexit!

Also, if Brexit causes the housing market to go tits up round here then we could be in negative equity.

OP posts:
Amanduh · 26/07/2018 12:33

Yes yabu

drearydeardre · 26/07/2018 12:34

just go then and stop whinging and scare-mongering. I am here with the 'blitz spirit alive and well'. I love my country for all its faults Smile

HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:34

Can you please expand a bit on that at all Amanduh?

OP posts:
RedneckStumpy · 26/07/2018 12:36

I have told my family to get out of the UK any way they can

HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:36

dreary

No, no, I think you’ve misunderstood. I really don’t know or think that Brexit will be doomsday. It could very easily just be a mild inconvenience for a bit, or just alright but with a few obstacles to overcome. If I had my mum next door and no family elsewhere, I’d be with you in your blitz spirit party, I swear!

OP posts:
HowIWishYouWereHere · 26/07/2018 12:38

Also, although I have a British passport, I haven’t always lived here. So it isn’t necessarily “my” country. Well it is at the moment as I live here, but you know what I mean. Hopefully.

OP posts:
EdisonLightBulb · 26/07/2018 12:39

Honestly, I think this is a massive over reaction and I voted remain.

52FestiveRoad · 26/07/2018 12:44

Will your 'new' country allow your DH & DC to apply for passports also? Will they accept dual citizenship or will you all have to revoke UK citizenship? Are the DC school age and if so how easily will they transfer into the new school system? I think it is all really complex and lots of unknowns, why not get your passport sorted and take it from there, rather than make a big decision in a panic!

Quietrebel · 26/07/2018 12:44

Funny how leavers are the ones summoning up images of war and destruction.

TheMonkeyMummy · 26/07/2018 12:47

If you like living in England, then stay.
If you don't, then leave (but I agree, do it before Brexit to secure your families rights to be in the EU country because those of us outside of the UK have really just been left dangling and we don't know what will happen to us!)

I didn't like it so I left 13 years ago. Hopefully I will be able to qualify for nationalization soon, as I will feel better having two passports (for oir kids who were all born here but are not citizens, so their future as well as our personal opportunities).

Quietrebel · 26/07/2018 12:49

The Blitz was an attack from external enemy forces. Who's the enemy here actually?
I really dislike all the WW2 rhetoric around brexit. When you love your country you don't want to see it thrown into needless chaos! Or even mild temporary crisis! I want NO crisis. I want improvements. Nobody needs to have their lives made harder than they already are!

Petalflowers · 26/07/2018 12:50

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and all countries have their problems.

I’ve known people emigrate to New Zealand and Australia for a shiney bright new future, and ended up coming back to Britain due racism, or got divorced, or just haven’t really settled.

I’m not saying don’t move abroad. Do what’s best for your family.

GhostofFrankGrimes · 26/07/2018 12:52

YANBU. Brexit is social and economic regression.