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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me win this

61 replies

Nomad86 · 26/07/2018 07:35

Ok mumsnetters, I have a bet with my husband and I need to win. He always wins this kind of stuff so I'm cheating my arse off and asking for help...

If you've ever perused one of those magazines at the doctor's, like Chat or Take A Break, you'll know that by far the best section is the "tips" page. These are honestly the most hilarious and awful tips you have ever read in your life and the best ones win a small cash prize. Well DH and I are competing to win said riches. I need to think up the most useless and cringey tip, with accompanying tacky description. Here's a link to some corkers so you get the idea.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/ailbhemalone/25-astonishingly-useless-tips-found-in-womens-magazines

No pressure here, but he won Valentine's Day, he's not getting this too.

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Thread gallery
5
Churrolicious · 26/07/2018 07:36

I love the idea of doing this! You need to pose for a photo too.

I think they always like a 'I have made a ridiculously useless piece of tat from another piece of tat that otherwise would have been thrown away'

Redcherries · 26/07/2018 07:47

You could have a look on shitty life pro tips on reddit, I’ve not been on there but have seen a few in my feed.

Good luck 😁

strawberrisc · 26/07/2018 07:49

The woman who used a body scrub attached to a headband as a fascinator creased me!

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 26/07/2018 07:51

Omg those tips! The milk carton top placemats! My eyes! Confused
Surely they have to be taking the piss! Maybe they are all playing the same game as you and your OH!

Original poster
Nomad86 · 26/07/2018 07:58

**Nottheduchessofcambridge that's my worry. I need to step up my game if I'm going to beat all the other SAHMs ignoring their children this summer.

OP posts:
strawberrisc · 26/07/2018 07:59

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Help me win this
Buildabear · 26/07/2018 07:59

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3287639-To-think-I-might-get-money-for-a-tip-in-a-magazine

Original poster
Nomad86 · 26/07/2018 08:10

Someone on there said the magazine printed their tip under a different name! But I need the cash to buy something completely impractical to lord it over DH.

OP posts:
Lostin3dspace · 26/07/2018 08:33

Now, you need to look here for inspiration

[http://viz.co.uk/category/top-tips/]

Original poster
Nomad86 · 26/07/2018 08:35

Right, just need occupy the children, then do some research...

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Mrsharrison · 26/07/2018 08:54

I used to love these. Am tempted to start buying these mags again for the giggle.

One tip that still makes me cringe is buying a folder with transparent vinyl sleeves to file away all your takeaway menus. So there's no scrabbling around in kitchen drawers.
It just seems like the height of organised gluttony.

TheQueef · 26/07/2018 08:59

You cant win because Viz (much underrated social chronicle) covered it for years.

Cheat and go for their champion tip.

KittyHawke80 · 26/07/2018 09:02

Making a handbag out of an old pair of jeans. Shudder. ‘I get so many comments about my striking and original bag!’ I’ll just bet you do . . .

SouthWestmom · 26/07/2018 09:23

Here's one!

'Use an old dvd case to store your holiday money when abroad. No one will ever nick an old copy of Three Men and a Baby out of your bag. Happy holidays!'

You need the end bit to look friendly, I think.

Original poster
Nomad86 · 26/07/2018 09:35

I definitely need an exclamation mark at the end of the caption. I'm thinking of maybe some awful decorative craft project I can get my 4yo to help with and then say how many lovely comments I've had.

OP posts:
BrazzleDazzleDay · 26/07/2018 09:41

You need to do something like my fabulous utensil holder Grin

Help me win this
MatildaTheCat · 26/07/2018 09:42

Can you use some completely obvious rubbish like, ‘if you are feeling short of money avoid going to the shops and you’ll be in the black in no time!!’

‘If your clothes are feeling a bit tight and you’ve gained some extra pounds just eat less for a few weeks and you’ll soon be back in all your favourite togs!!’

‘If the heat is getting to you stay in a cool shower all day and you’ll soon be feeling chilled!!’ (Topical)

I am on a roll 🤣

DontCallMeCharlotte · 26/07/2018 09:48

"If you are choking on an ice cube, drink some boiling water to melt it."

Haven't tried it yet.

CanaryFish · 26/07/2018 09:53

You can drink lava but only once

LouiseEH · 26/07/2018 10:26

I actually did the maternity one. It worked like a charm 😂

Anasnake · 26/07/2018 10:31

The sanitary towels as slippers is my all time favourite !

27yorkshiregirl · 26/07/2018 10:37

Oh god these are cracking me up!!

Sticking sanitary towels to the inside of your shirt armpits to stop sweat patches.

TrudeauGirl · 26/07/2018 11:09

But I need the cash to buy something completely impractical to lord it over DH.

Please let us know if you win and what random impractical thing you buy. That would be hilarious. I love these kind of fun bets between couples.

Original poster
Nomad86 · 26/07/2018 11:11

Oh I love alternative uses for sanitary products!

I'm jealous of the utensil holder, I should have made one when I had the chance. Perhaps I could make a pencil holder out of toilet rolls. I'd have to use up my DD's collection of glitter glue but she'll get over it when I let her keep the pencil holder.

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Original poster
Nomad86 · 26/07/2018 11:12

Trudeau - I'm considering a feather boa to go with the "I won" dance I'll choreograph for the occasion.

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