to not want mil visiting twice a week

[rubyroot]

I work full time, partner is a sahd. I've now returned from maternity but have a six week holiday.

Baby is six months. MIL has been visiting non- stop. I've found it a pain, esp in the early days when I just wanted peace and quiet- MIL was round to see baby 3/4 times a week, it has now reduced to twice a week.

That's fine when I am not here- she can arrange what she likes with her son. But when I am here, I cannot be bothered with the visits.

I have tried- I kept MIL up to date with pregnancy etc. But she is full on and her interfering and comments wind me up. I know I shouldn't let them and they are probably said with the intention to wind me up!

I was called a beached whale and fat during my pregnancy- never in the presence of her son.

She has made comments about my baby needing a routine (he has one) a dummy ( I didn't want one) only needs an hour a day nap ( no, he's 6 months! Think this one is so she can see him more probably.) When Mr Rubyroot was six months, he was... (fill in the gaps- this is what I should be doing with my baby)

She makes the comments to my baby when I'm in earshot, but partner isn't.

The last time she visited- she made at least 3 of these types of comments. I wouldn't mind her visiting if she did not try to interfere and give advice that I don't want to hear.

Go on. I know you will all be honest. AIBU? Or could she just visit/ take baby for a few hours when I'm at work?

He's primary carer op

If it goes tits up, he gets baby and maintenance you get visitation

Thanks Tanith

I dont think he is lonely, he likes looking after baby (at the moment)
MIL did say she was looking forward to me going back to work to partner- fucking charming, as I was really not looking forward to it and had to go back earlier than I would have liked at 5 months- fucking charming!

This was because she was hoping she could have him at her house to herself, in the end this only happened once as partner was worried about letting someone else have him!

She had him Monday for a couple of hours- my idea as I was going out and thought it a good opportunity.

Then she's badgering for a visit again- ended up contacting me cos partner not answering. Said busy, apparently not good enough she needs to see him before she goes away. I ended up fucking relenting told her we'd pick her up and she could come food shopping.

Things seem to be better on neutral territory- still the odd comment; oh that's a lot of fruit purees etc, no veg? But ignored.

She's got what she wants again, shes like a spoilt kid to be honest.

The poster who mentioned moving!

That's really funny. We bought a house about 30 miles from where she lived, a year later she turned up in rented accommodation- 2 miles away :(

I just think you need an honest talk with her about how you are feeling.

Set a few ground rules, like not using the spare key unless asked. Not just calling around without arranging.
Talk to her about how you feel when she makes comments.

Communication really is the key to a smooth life.

Thanks Blacktea

I just think its enough to expect that when I am not at work, weekends and holidays- to have my time to myself!

Shes lucky that she can see him so much and that she lives close by to do so- but its not enough.

She has very little else in her life.

I do need to say something as clearly partner won't- I don't know how the key thing happened to be honest- it just started getting used more regularly- but it grates on me and I need to say/do something