Friends child calling me fat

[Stephthegreat]

DS is 5 and has a friend the same age who’s we see sometimes because Im good friends with his mum.He keeps asking me ‘where’s your baby?’ I’m overweight but I don’t think I look like I’m pregnant! Friend just talks over him and laughs.

At this young age I think children innocently saying someone has a big tummy or someone is fat is quite normal and I know it happens but the way this child is asking the question ‘where’s your baby’ makes me wonder if his dad has been saying it jokingly about me.

I’m starting to get a bit paranoid about it now! I keep telling df child I’m not very pregnant!

at 5 mine knew that was rude. I would distance yourself if it were me xxx

In the nicest possible way, as a big lady, I think it depends how you carry your weight and what the child has experience

I’ve had a child ask me if my baby was coming soon as I have a big belly. The child in question has a auntie who was expecting and so thought a big belly means a baby.

At 5 yo he knows fine well that’s rude.

Personally I’d say “please stop asking me that, it’s rude”.

He shouldn’t be asking random people about babies anyway, some poor woman might end up terribly distressed. His parents should know better.

There will be somebody along in a minute to ask you how much you weigh and give you a lecture about your "health".

Friend just talks over him and laughs. WTAF, your problem is with your ‘friend’ not with the child who clearly hasn’t been taught any better. Next time I’d respond with ‘hasn’t your mum told you it’s rude to comment on other people’s bodies’ then turn and look at your friend until she says something.

I agree with Nona - he knows it’s rude and if he doesn’t then his parents have done a poor job and you’ll be doing him a favour by pointing out that it’s unkind.

I think if my ds was asking my df that I’d be mortified! I’d have to tell him to stop doing it but df just won’t tell him to stop.She gets miffed if anyone checks his behaviour.

I’ve never heard a guy say someone looks pregnant, we tend to be more blunt. I’d imagine the child was just asking innocently.

I think your friend should tell their son not to be rude and not say that again.

I would ask him who told him I was pregnant. If an adult was being a dick about you, then his mum will just sit squirming. Hell slap it up her, because this is her child and it’s up to her to control him.

My niece has been asking people this, maybe because her mum is pregnant and so am I, so she thinks there's a high chance every female she knows has a 'magic baby in their belly' (don't ask -my darling brother handled the how do babies get in there question, and answered with 'magic' 🙄) . I pointed out to her that some people just have bigger bellies than others, like daddy (little bit of sibling ribbing) and some people are tall, or short etc and that's all fine, she's stopped asking people now, and she's not quite three so maybe address it directly next time.

this is tricky

he may be asking his mother why you look different and she may well be avoiding the question - so not to say you're overweight not wanting him to say it in front of you.

fwiw i literally have abs as my dd asked me if i was pregnant the other day as i was a bit bloated, she just wanted to know why my tummy was sticking out not commenting on my weight - she's 6, then she asked me if i'd put weight on- i just explained how carbs retain water and can change the way your tummy looks- i didn't get offended as it's an innocent question.

What do you say when he asks/says this? My DD has mentioned my weight before, and when I said that it might make someone feel very sad if she said that to them, she was upset and never repeated it. If my friend couldn't handle me saying this to her child we wouldn't be very good friends for much longer.

So the kid hasn't said anything about your weight, you're just paranoid...

What on earth is "I'm not very pregnant"??

She gets miffed if anyone checks his behaviour.

And?

If children are rude to me and their parents don’t intervene I have no problem correcting them.

I just keep telling him that I’m not pregnant.I do get the feeling he’s repeating over and over because he knows it’s a bit of an insult. I don’t know for sure though.

I would not worry about it! If you or your friend had a child with language difficulties or autism, they would tell the truth as they see it; because they take language literally and have no conception of white lies!

DD is in her 20s, and still does not get white lies - we and anybody she comes across have had 20 years of the unvarnished truth! Pregnancy versus being overweight still confuses her, even though she does understand what pregnancy is!

Ethylred it was a mistake,my tablet put ‘very’ in, I meant to say I told him ‘I’m not pregnant’

Interesting that you suspect the Dad rather than mum of being rude.

I remember a friends child saying that he thought that only very old ladies had hair on their chin.I told him that I was very old and that I thought his mum had taught him not to be rude.Worked for me.
For small children bald truth often stops them.If he asks again just say ,No,I'm fat/overweight and I'm sure your mum has told you that this is being rude.Make sure you say this infront of his mum.If it carrys on then stay away,a good friend wouldn't want their child to upset you.

I think the kid is just asking questions, they have no filter.

I don’t think the kid should be pulled up for being rude, but ratherctaken aside and explained to him why people might think it is rude. It’s very possible he has no idea and if he hasn’t been taught he won’t know.

My boys did this when they were of nursery age, asked whether that big woman was having a baby, why that mans nose is so big, if that very old lady is going to die soon.. etc.

I explained to them why people might be upset and feel sad. They got it... but they need it taught to them.

It sounds annoying - can you just ignore him?

I’m guessing maybe he’s picking up a bit on you reacting uncomfortably like you’re put on the spot

But you have no obligation to answer a five year old.

just let him ask and make no eye contact and don’t even respond or if he goes on and on and keeps asking just let him wind himself up and look a bit weird.

I remember my mother replying "I'm not fat; I'm pleasantly plump!" to one small boy. He liked the sound of it so much better that he used that instead.

Agree that it's rude, but it's your friend that's being rude and your friend that you need to speak to if you don't like it.

As a teacher of small children I get asked if I'm pregnant, why do I always wear the same jumper, why do I have a mustache and countless other 'rude' questions regularly. I have no problem with it, find it quite cute, and put it down to genuine curiosity. I think by 5 it's a little borderline rude, especially if it's more than once. It's especially rude on the mothers part.