Friends child calling me fat

[Stephthegreat]

DS is 5 and has a friend the same age who’s we see sometimes because Im good friends with his mum.He keeps asking me ‘where’s your baby?’ I’m overweight but I don’t think I look like I’m pregnant! Friend just talks over him and laughs.

At this young age I think children innocently saying someone has a big tummy or someone is fat is quite normal and I know it happens but the way this child is asking the question ‘where’s your baby’ makes me wonder if his dad has been saying it jokingly about me.

I’m starting to get a bit paranoid about it now! I keep telling df child I’m not very pregnant!

Rude child but even ruder mum , l think this is not very nice for you OP , don't put up with it anymore , stick up for yourself.

At 5 he knows he's being rude and if mum won't tell him so, then I would. At 5 my DCs knew better than that, and they weren't exactly angels. I'd never have allowed them to get away with making personal remarks about someone anyway.

Your friend is an idiot.

All those people trying to justify what a rude little boy says - not everyone shrugs off rudeness & there'll be some who won't care less, they'll say exactly what they think. If a child was rude to me more than once the parent wouldn't like what I'd say to them.

He’s being rude. They do know it’s rude at 5, and if not they should be told. Next time I’d say ‘it’s not kind to comment on people’s appearence’, and leave it at that.

Some kids are just rude little shits with no manners. The majority just ask inappropriate things quite innocently and should be taken with a pinch of salt.
I had one kid aged about six in a class I taught in the USA tell me that I needed to see an orthodontist. I'm from the UK and hadn't spent $4000 getting my teeth white and straight like a lot of Americans. I got the feeling he was just repeating it from his dad.
Had another kid about the same age also in the USA who was a friend of my sons asking me in my own home if I could stop speaking the way I was speaking because he didn't like it! Funnily enough this kids dad was obnoxious too.

Any chance his mums preganant and she's not letting on?

Doesn't sound like deliberately rude.
At that age they will ask the same question over and over again.
One of dd1's classmates asked at the school gate almost every morning and evening for 18months why dd2 didn't have a hand. I gave the same answer every single time. I frequently heard the parent telling him not to ask again.
He was clearly trying to process the idea that you could be born without a hand, and struggling with it.

The problem here is the mother, not just the child.

If you were a more valuable friend to her, she would stop her child from saying this.

She doesn't care about you. Tell her that you are getting really upset with the DS's constant comments and unless it stops, it's better if you don't meet.

its rude. The kid knows its rude, the mum knows its rude. They are ignorant.

My 5 year old might ask about my bloated stomach. It's not rude, it's biology

I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. So stop saying it please. Thanks bye.

Lots of five year olds wouldn't realise that was rude. However you would expect that after you'd gone your friend would tell her DS not to say it to you (or anyone else) again so it's weird that he's done it on more than one occasion.

Just say "when are you going to stop asking me the same question over and over again, you are being really very rude" and then say time your friend "you might want to have a chat to him, it's rude, it's happening too frequently and you talking over him obviously isn't working"

Yes he’s said it a few times.Df knows it’s wrong because she’s very uncomfortable when he says it and tries to talk over him.It makes it worse because he then just shouts! I’ve noticed in the car he was shouting very loudly whenever I tried to talk to his mum,again didn’t get checked for it.

I'd be mortified if my child was saying that! He should be told not to say that by his mum. What is she thinking?? I really feel for you.

My 5 year old might ask about my bloated stomach. It's not rude, it's biology

At 3yo it’s not rude, by 5 yo it’s rude and they should know better.

If they call another child or a teacher fat at school they will get into trouble.

Er just say " I' m not pregnant, I'm fat and it upsets me if you say it".
Job done.

Fuck that
You need to speak to your friend, preferably before you next see her with her DS. Tell her it's very upsetting for you, and you'd hate for him to do the same to anyone else.
By 5, if he's not aware it's rude she should certainly be chastising him for commenting negatively on appearance.

The child is only 5 . Maybe the dad is saying things to them but so what if they are .

Maybe the dad is saying things to them but so what if they are

Because it’s rude and unkind Lola!

You wouldn’t allow your child to repeated call someone ugly or stupid would you? Even if it was true?

Of course not.

Children should be taught at a young age they must not make personal remarks about people's appearance. Whether the remark is true or not they should be told it's rude.

To add I certainly wouldn't give the friend an explanation. She should know better. Get some more sensitive friends. Why should you be upset by them. Don't be.

You have to teach children WHY you don't make comments about people appearance.

The 5 minute rule is good. Don't comment on anything people can't change in five minutes ( fat, tell, weird bits etc). If they can, tell them ( stuff on teeth, skirt in knickers etc)

He knows it’s rude, and she certainly does. How stupid of her to let this continue.

My friends 3yr old asked my OH last week if he had a baby in his tummy too (I'm 29weeks and pretty big). We (me, OH and friend( laughed about it and said of course not.

With a 5 year old though, I would expect the parent to tell them it's not polite/nice to just ask things like that.

Dd2 called her dad fat and said he had s big belly at the weekend.

She is five and got told off.