First day of holidays and neighbour complained about children playing outside

[smileycath]

My new neighbour called round this afternoon to complain about my children playing outside. She is retired but works from home as a translator and needs to concentrate and my children's screaming and football games are making this impossible.

I feel gutted. It's the first day of the summer holidays. I'm a lone parent to three boys aged 6, 8 and 9. We don't have a garden and it's only recently that I've felt able to let them go out with friends on the street. They play on the road below and I can keep an eye on them from the window. They are a bit noisy but there's never more than half a dozen of them and they're not a nightmare.

She suggested that we have a compromise and that they be allowed to play out for half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the afternoon. I couldn't agree to this and she obviously thought I was being unreasonable but honestly when the weather is nice I don't want them stuck in front of screens.

She said they should be in the park and that the street wasn't a playground. Fair enough and we do go to the park a lot and I try to take them out at some point every day but some days we're at home for longer periods and I want them to play out. I'm self-employed working from home too and have to squeeze in a few hours each day and this is often when they play out.

She argued they were old enough to go to the park on their own but my youngest is only six and my eldest is slightly autistic and certainly not able to look after the others. Plus there's a road to cross and somebody was recently stabbed in the park during the day!

My next door neighbour overheard our conversation on the doorstep and said FFS but his children are older and go further afield now. I feel like this woman is not going to let it drop and I hate confrontation. What can I do?

You live near other people then you live with the noise.

Playing on the road is a red herring - OP has specified the children are not kicking the ball against the neighbours wall - children are as entitled to be outside and playing as anyone going about their general business

They're in the street. She has the right not to be bothered by screaming and excessive loud noise on the street.

This.

if they are playing out go down with them and supervise. It's a street not a playground. Take them to the park. You are making your DCs her problem. Unbelievably selfish. If I was her I'd be contacting the council.

Tell her to get to fuck

If I was her I'd be contacting the council

I suspect the only thing the council would do is criticise her for running a business from home.

This is great news. So I can go round to my neighbours making all the noise and say that as I work from home they have to stop working outside, using their gardens, their kids cant play in the street? I mean if this is correct then the list of things that my neighbours cant do in order to accommodate my working from home is enormous.

Excellent, I'll start right away knocking on doors.

Why is she supposed to put up with it just because they’re children? So if it were a group of grown men playing football under her window, screaming at each other and kicking the ball at the wall, then can she be annoyed?

And it makes posters sad that someone doesn’t enjoy the sound of children playing in the sun? So you would pull up a chair and lap up the sound of screaming just because it comes from a child?

Honestly, if someone suggested that kids in Canada didn't take over a cul de sac in the summer to play street hockey, or that they have to not be loud while doing so, they would be shunned by the entire neighbourhood. It's one thing in a fancy restaurant or church, but no one would ever suggest kids need to be quiet out doors unless they've got a stick wedged firmly up their arse

This obsession with quietness is the only thing I do not understand about Brit's.

Even when I lived in Korea and Japan kids were allowed to shout, scream, kick balls, etc in the streets and nobody said anything.

I suspect the only thing the council would do is criticise her for running a business from home.

How bizarre.

I work from home. Wouldn't dream of asking a neighbour to stop their kids making noise outside during the day, I would simply work from another room.....or put headphones on and listen to some music.
and I agree with Rainbowbriterules its great when kids play outside. Make the most of the childhood in the fresh air

I'd take steps to stop them from screaming, bring them in if they can't keep the noise at a reasonable level, but otherwise she's being completely unreasonable. She doesn't have the right to expect people not to be outside making noise during the day in a residential area, and children playing in the street is normal and reasonable behaviour. I'd consider a softer ball too though, for the sake of good neighbour relations.

Do you have a park near you? Or any holiday clubs? My DC are at holiday club every weekday afternoon.

Ignore her. I work from home - not as a translator but similar sort of job (& one where I need to be able to hear audio or video). My neighbours have been renovating their house recently. Far more noise than a few kids. If I had an issue with it I would rent office space. The world doesn’t stop for homeworkers.

But I would honestly just ignore her. Don’t agree, don’t disagree and she’ll hopefully discover she’s not getting anywhere. My new approach to dealing with completely unreasonable people is to just ignore them - it’s a revelation.

Hhm. Kids should be on to play outside but to be honest yours sound feral... screaming is not acceptable and I bet they're making far more noise than you're letting on. You shouldn't be chucking your kids out to fend for themselves in the street so you can get work done. Put them in clubs or take them to the park yourself and actually parent.

If it was a group of men playing football outside then as long as it didn’t look as if any windows would be broken and there was no swearing I would think it was great!

I can usually hear babies crying, dogs barking, music playing into the evening and often kids playing outside. Although I don’t have a baby, dog or play music late in the evening then I accept these things as part of outdoor life in the summer. And thank my lucky stars I live somewhere tolerant and sensible! And yes, it’s a ‘quiet’ road in a family friendly area.

I’m on the fence here. Her suggestion of 2x 30 minute slots seems unreasonable but there has to be a balance and if they’re out there most days for a long period and it’s disturbing her work, that seems unfair too. I don’t think she’s unreasonable in suggesting the park etc for some of the time.

They’re screaming outside her house...
Get them off the street and stop being a dick. She must hate your guts, you silly mare.

A compromise is needed.

My DS played along the road from about seven with the other dc in the road and there were quite a few in a small age range.

However none of those dc were out before school or really early ever and in the evenings they would all be in by about 7 or ocasionally. Plus it was up to a couple of hours at a time not all day.

Regarding the ball there is no way it isn't hitting various houses and walls at different times.

How about a couple of two hours slots with agreement with neighbour. Her request for two thirty minute slots is too little but all day is too much. Also in the extremely hot weather dc shouldn't be out in it all day at all.

I live in a cul de sac and often work from home. Tbh I've never really noticed noise and I work in the room directly on the street.

I do notice the utterly moronic parents here who encourage their children to play in the road. Yes, there's only 5 houses but a lot of people come here to park. I've put a dash cam in my car so I can defend myself if anything happens.

The neighbour Spoke to the OP -no notes or passive aggression. Good for her.

The amount of aggressive "I'd tell her to do one" or passive aggressive "tell her to move home" responses are really depressing as are the self righteous ones.

Why can't people have some compassion any more? Why is it this "me first and fuck you" becoming endemic?

Think about it. We do need to fight about everything ffs and respond to other people raising their views and needs as an opportunity for self justification and put downs.

Christ. What a fucking world.

If it were a group of men playing football I bet your neighbour would not even mention it!

Do not need to fight, obviously

Don’t make her problem become yours. If you are happy to let your boys play outside then she has to put up with it.
If you did have a garden rather than them being on the street, she’d still hear them. She doesn’t have any right to silence and children playing can hardly be classed as antisocial behaviour.
Tell her your sons will be playing out and if she doesn’t like that then she can complain to environment agency or whoever it is she needs to contact, but boys playing out after 9am and before 7pm will never be classed as a noise nuisance.
It’s her problem, not yours.
We all have to put up with crap sometimes. My neighbours have 7am online shopping deliveries which wake us every weekend (Saturday ok, Sunday, less than ok) but for the sake of harmony we don’t grumble.
It’s 9am here, I’m ‘working’ from home, French doors wide open and the little girl next door is singing, quite loudly but I just ignore, id never dream of telling her to shut up.

I think it depends where she lives. In my street kids don’t play out - it isn’t safe as it’s used as a rat run. But all my friends who live in modern estates in cul de sacs have kids playing in the street (even if not their own anymore). Given the number of kids described in the OP I think the neighbour has accidentally bought the wrong house for her needs.

I live in the centre of town. From where I am sitting I can hear drilling, thumping (think it’s a bin lorry in the street behind) & traffic (buses are quite noisy). If silence was important to me I wouldn’t live here. Nor would I choose a cul de sac of family houses.

I work from home often nad we have kids playing on the street in summer, quite often. I would never dream of telling parents to quieten them down.
She might want to consider either moving her office to the back of the house, noise cancelling headphones or closing window and having a fan on.

Her job does require lots of concentration, but she can't expect everyone to be quiet for her. On the other hand, she can expect few hours of quiet. Certainly not all day, like she suggested.