I understand why you're angry and frustrated, and frightened for her, no doubt. But please try and remember that abusers brainwash their targets, and from what you've recounted he has certainly done a very thorough job of it.
You couldn't persuade her just for your own piece of mind to do the Freedom programme.
Make it a way of saying that you will forgive and forget but just so she recognises things might be perfect in the future but at some point they might not be so you just want to protect her with a little bit of knowledge
I was thinking the same. One of the major points of FP is that they will never tell you to leave, and it's not about persuading anybody to leave - they just want you to have all the information you need to live your own life and make your own choices.
I suspect, if you were able to nudge her into it at this point, that she might not be ready and find it too confronting when she sits there and basically hears her relationship being described back to her as classic DV. If that happens, please don't lose your temper with her or pressure her to finish it. (Although calm encouragement to stick it out should be ok).
However, even if she only made the first week and then panicked and bailed it would have sown a seed, which would hopefully mean that she would reach a point of being able to go back to it and start to see his behaviour for what it is sooner than if she never went at all.
It's very common for women to drop out of the course the first time they go. You do have to be ready to face the truth and enormity of the situation you find yourself in, especially when you've been brainwashed over a period of time to accept their behaviour, to minimise it, to excuse it, and ultimately to blame yourself (and potentially your own family).
As she's pregnant then I imagine there is going to be a large element in play here of her trying to convince herself this is all going to work out beautifully, and that will be extremely powerful on top of his brainwashing. She might not be ready to face this until he escalates or baby is here, so please do what you need to do to make sure she feels able to turn to you if and when she starts to realise she has made a mistake. You don't want her to feel too ashamed to come to you, or that you'll say "I told you so" (even if you won't, it's whether from her perspective she thinks it will happen).
You can find out more here: www.freedomprogramme.co.uk
Even if she doesn't go (yet), it might not hurt for you to attend. It might actually make it easier for you to remain calm and supportive and pretend to be happy with him, if you've got a more thorough knowledge of the mind games he's been using on her. In fact, I would strongly recommend you do attend it yourself.
Be aware also that his abusive tactics will include trying to drive a wedge between you and your daughter, so if you're armed with knowledge about how he might do that you can make sure you avoid falling into his trap. FP covers this.
Looking back on my own life, the more times people tried to tell me to leave (before I understood abuse) the more I convinced myself I had to stay and it was my fault, because I felt I had to justify to them why I was in that situation. I too came to his defence and rolled out his excuses. I wasn't ready to face it, I didn't understand abuse is far more complex than "just" being punched in the face, and I had spent too long being convinced it was normal behaviour.
My gut feeling here is that your daughter has probably compared him to what she remembers happening growing up and concluded that because he is not an identical match to the man who abused you, that he's not abusive. "Well, X was an ogre who did a, b, and c, whereas my partner can be so funny and has never punched me in the face like I saw X do to mum." The best qualities of the new person get compared to the worst abuse of the previous one to conclude "no abuse here".
This is very, very common and is no reflection on the way you raised her. The messages we get in our culture are that abuse looks a certain, simplistic way that is obvious to spot, so it's entirely understandable that this has happened, albeit very sad and distressing.
In the long run, whether she does FP now, or goes on it later (hopefully at the point she decides to leave or has left) it will give her the information she needs to protect herself form future abusers too and stop her from falling into this trap again.
If you need support yourself in dealing with this there is a section on the Women's Aid website for if you're worried someone is being abused, and you could call them for advice: 0808 2000 247.
If you wanted to talk to the Freedom Programme for a second opinion or a different perspective on how to support her, etc, they also have a line you can call. Number on their website. And an email address. They really do know their stuff and have worked with so many women in your position, and in your daughter's position.
Neither organisation will judge you or your daughter.
FP talk about knowledge being power. That will apply to your daughter when she's ready to receive it, but it also applies to you. Arm yourself with what these organisations can share with you, and keep your eye on the long term as much as the present. This isn't your fault any more than it is hers. The only person at fault is the man who's chosen to brainwash and abuse your daughter.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you all. It might take some time, and some really difficult acting on your part, but I do believe a positive outcome is achievable here in the long run. Keep your eye on that when you're struggling.
I also think it's important you know that I didn't read your posts and think "oh well she clearly messed up raising her daughter" or anything critical of your daughter either. I was actually close to tears reading what you're going through; I feel compassion and concern for you both, not judgement.