To be irritated by this childcare comment?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I have a friend who reduced her hours at work and became part of some mainly online Weight Loss company. She now works for them and earns money by selling their products and by recruiting new woman to do the same role she does. All her work is done via FB and emails and she puts many photos on her FB page of the products she sells, the meals she cooks and ‘before and after’ photos of women who have found success through her diet powders and pills. She also puts up lots of inspirational quotes to try and paint a picture of how people’s lives could be if they joined her team.

Anyway - on to my point.

Numerous times a week she will list on her FB Page all the reasons why working from home and from her phone (as in FB and emails) is the way to go and she will make comments about how she gets to “be there” for her son when it really matters, (in relation to him being 18 months old) and how he gets to have his mummy around all the time like he should have. It always has an undertone of if mother is at home with her child it must mean she cares more for her child than a mother who goes out to work.

Today she has posted another list of why women should follow her footsteps and she has written “No packing my son off to a childminder” and it’s really pissed me off.

Maybe I’m being too sensitive because I do use a childminder but the term “packing him off” implies it’s something bad for the child and mothers are bad for doing it.

It really riled me up and I can’t help but think using statements like that is just going to piss other working women off too as opposed to luring them in and increasing her recruitment numbers which in turn leads to a pay rise.

When I read it it simply made me think that I wouldn’t want to work for such a judgemental company or woman.

Maybe she doesn’t realise how her statement could be interpreted but it’s just really annoyed me.

[OddestSock]

I have a friend on Instagram who does a MLM job. I actually really like her as a person, so I can just about tolerate the daily posts about how wonderful her job is (& the occasional private message trying to sell me something).

I pack mine off to childcare - but I know this is the right thing for us. I have NO desire to become a MLM - this one sells make up no don’t even wear make up! It seems far too much hard work to me 😂

[angelichosts]

MLM = multi level marketing (I didn't know this term until heard it on Mumsnet either). It applies to companies where participants make most of their money by signing up more sellers, rather than via their own sales, as they get commission on their referrals.

MLM bot - I think people are saying that your friend has been brainwashed by the company into saying things she otherwise wouldn't.

I would just unfriend her on Facebook, I do this for anyone whose Facebook posts irritate me more than once or twice. Of course working outside the home and using childcare isn't harmful to your child. You know this already, so remove this source of irritation and you will feel much better.

You are unlikely to change your friend's behaviour but given that you are fond of her and she is otherwise a nice person, it might be worth a try talking to her about how her posts make you feel. However I wouldn't bank too much on her agreeing.

[StillMissV]

Ummm the MLM thing is a load of shite, I can guarantee you she's making jack shit. They're told to "fake it until you make it". I have a friend doing this, I know she has made hardly anything yet constantly posting about her inbox being on fire and that we should all consider giving up our jobs etc. Nah you're alright there! Have a look at Elle Beau's "Poonique" blog to learn how MLM works.

[PipeTheFuckDown]

Bahahaha I love packing my kids off to our childminder

[3stonedown]

this blog will explain it all OP

She is basically a robot now. She won't be earning hardly anything. All the "my phone is on fire" is just a way to reel people in.

I bet it's juice plus

[PullMyFingerPlease]

I’d have to say something too
She’s crossed the line , it’s so hard to hand your child over to someone else

[IGiorni]

Try to ignore. I “pack my son off to a childminder” every day and he’s fine. It’s MLM bollocks. A close relative has started doing it and I’ve had to unfollow her because of the endless bullshit clogging up my newsfeed. People who are not massively overweight to begin with losing a stone in a week, medical conditions being miraculously cured by what is essentially a milkshake and some vitamins, incessant rambling about how life-changing it is and how lucky she is to be working from home on a nice sunny day with her daughter (said day was a Saturday, she still has a full time job too). Every conversation eventually comes back round to it and how I need to “jump on board”. It’s like a cult, they’re completely brainwashed.

[ArcheryAnnie]

The truth is, if you’re working you can’t look after a baby/toddler at the same time, whether you’re at home or not. If she’s working, she isn’t giving her child her time and attention, whereas a childminder would be.

This. Even if you are working from home you need childcare.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I think the company is called Love your Body or something like that.

I do think I’m going to have to unfriend her because the comments about being at home with her child have always annoyed me but this one I read today is the last straw I think.

[QueenAravisOfArchenland]

Hahahaha. Every word she posts is garbage. She isn't earning anything, her phone isn't blowing up, those photos are stock photos who probably aren't even of people who used the product at all. It's all part of the MLM script, including the slagging off of "losers" with proper jobs and mums who use childcare.

Read the Elle Beau blog. ellebeaublog.com/Poonique/ it's all there. MLMs are all the same. No point whatsoever saying something. She deserves your pity really - she's likely to end up disillusioned and massively out of pocket. If you're lucky your friend may re-emerge eventually.

[21jumpstreet]

It’s just MLM rubbish. Delete and block. Your life will be better for it!

[misskatamari]

Was just going to suggest reading the Elle Beau blog - it's an eye opener. Your friend will be making naff all money from this. They're told to post all that bollocks to try and rope in people to be their downlines, who they can hopefully claw a bit of commission from. I would unfollow or mute her, she'll probably return to normal in a few months when she realises it's all a scam and she's losing money

[YellowTelescope]

The blog that 3stonedown posted is amazing, please read it. Basically she's spouting bullshit fed to her from the people above her in the pyramid scheme. She won't be selling anything. She'll be using her own money to buy the products but claiming other people have bought them. Her phone won't be on fire, she'll be sitting there racking up debt trying to buy stock that no one wants to buy from her. It's all fake fake fake.

[Anonymumm]

I would say something, and the beauty is, you can say it along the lines of

"Great to see your business is doing so well, but just wanted to give you some feedback, as a friend - someone had commented to me about wanting to join but she was put off by some of your comments you've made....and as a working Mum myself, I can see her point, I'd hate to think that you wee missing out on potential clients"

She is in effect, ostracising a whole group of Clients, so more fool her!

I used to pussyfoot around things, but I now decide that if someone says something that I don't agree with, or that upsets me, or is wrong, I will let them know about it - and she'll know you're having a dig but if it's delivered like that then (hopefully) it won't cause you to fall out.

[PlatypusPie]

I know someone who does MLM and describes themself as a Business Coach 🙄 She does make money out of it but that is because she got into it many years ago and has a very large number of people downstream from her ( which is where any real money comes from) , is very, very pushy with a thick skin and has several other sidelines going as well. I can see how she would impress someone naive who would hope to ‘succeed ‘ like her - they wouldn’t.

She now knows not to mention this drivel to me - gave up trying to recruit me years ago !

[mumsastudent]

vision ;mother madly typing whilst dc scrambles all over her saying mum, mum, mum, when she's on phone saying to customer/order" wait minute,come here don't do that" types through gritted teeth; about not dumping dc at childminder whilst secretly wishing she could!

[Anonymumm]

You may also find that, inevitably, she is under pressure from someone above, she'll have targets to meet, etc. So it may not all be fully her, so to speak.

I had a friend that I hadn't seen for months, was too busy to meet up, never heard from her - then one day she messaged me to say she'd picked out a heap of things from her catalogue to style me, because they were 'so me' and to please let her know what I thought, and if I wanted to buy anything - ha, ha - needless to say, I never replied - she doesn't actually do that business anymore either.

A few of my friends have tried various 'at home' sales roles, but when you balance the time and effort with reward, most have given up because it's just not feasible - the picture she paints may not be all it seems....

[OftenHangry]

Once they are in it, they are in it. She is most likely NOT making as much money, she makes out, but how else would she manage to get people to sign up. I absolutely HATE these. Appearing on fb forums with "Amazing opportunity, PM for details" and never mentioning the name of the company, because they are not allowed. It includes Forever, Herbalife and about 12 others.
It's somehow legal pyramid scheme imho and tbh unless she manages to recruit, shr won't really make money.
Feel bit sorry for her tho. She is most likely hundreds of pounds in and is trying to claw them back.
Unfriend her tho. It will only get more annoying and desperate.

[Anonymumm]

I'm laughing at the replies above - that will be exactly it - "Mum, Mum, Mum, please put your phone down"

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I will have a read of that blog tonight when my son is asleep, thanks to all those who suggested it.

She did try and sell me some products a few months ago and was quite pushy about it but after I firmly said no she did back off.

I just find it all really strange.

[UbercornsGoggles]

I would be equally irritated by this. I'm also intrigued to know how someone who is at home but has to be constantly on Facebook etc to do their job is "there" for their child.

[ZigZagIntoTheBlue]

Google distracted parenting and post a couple of links to the articles on her post. I'm not knocking either way, my Lloyds have done nursery, child minder and me at home working from my phone. They get more attention at nursery and childminsers than from a parent staring at their phone like I'm doing right now

[Sonders]

Everything you've mentioned OP is from the MLM script, everything. I would still be offended though, as she's complicit is posting the garbage.

MLM schemes prey on vulnerable women who are struggling with loneliness, money, dissatisfaction at work, or all 3. The best you can do is refuse to engage with them at all, and block them all on social media.

[Bouledeneige]

I found when DC are little Mums can be very judgemental of each other. I worked full time and felt the disapproval of the SAHMs for leaving my kids. I was never as fully integrated in the playground and the school gate - I found it cliquey and gossipy, and like being at a girls school again. Though i had a few lovely great friends.

But as time went on it changed. People started to mention how lucky i was to have a career and an interesting life, Mums trying to return to work were bemoaning going back to worse jobs or finding it difficult to re-enter the workplace. And as their kids are starting going off to college some are starting to struggle to find purpose in their lives.

And of course with most of us, the good and kind and supportive friends we just enjoy our friendships and dont judge each other, we dont parade my life is better than your life, I'm a better mother. We are all mostly brilliant and sometimes a bit shit as mothers, wives, lovers, friends.

Ignore her. Anyone who has to declare their brilliant life so publically is probably trying a bit too hard to convince. And that job she's doing. you know its shit right?

[Hauskat]

Working from home while looking after kids is doing two jobs at once. It’s like that pat your head and rub your tummy thing. But so much harder. I felt like I could choose to do both badly or one well and got exactly zero work done. Now I pack my daughter off to nursery for most of the week and ‘work’ from home in view of the enormous pile of clothes I need to fold and put away. I forget to brush my teeth or put on a bra and look forward to picking my daughter up so I can exchange two or three words with other adult human beings. It’s so fucking glamorous. I would definately send her a private message saying something like ‘it’s bloody hard being a woman balancing career and childcare we are all trying to figure it out as best we can in a society that doesn’t yet support us enough to make comfortable compromises. There are losses whatever you choose so it really hurts me to read your posts which come over as quite judgemental.’ Or maybe not that. The unhealthy skinny thing is just awful and for that alone I would unfollow and prob not contact again. I know you say she is really nice but she is effectively trying to dupe all her friends, preying of their maternal guilt and selling a product which relies on women feeling bad about their bodies. And might possibly promote a very unhealthy lifestyle.