Aibu to think my child has been singled out?

[justmakemeacuppa]

My daughter has just gone 7 and is ready to move up to brownies only there is no space for her which I understand and accept. That is until I knew that there is other rainbows that were allowed to stay on until a place came up for another term. I asked if this was an option for my daughter which at one point was ok but she’s just come home tonight and I’ve been told again there is no space and couldn’t return. I know she can’t stay forever but it’s really pissed me off that it’s seems to be one rule for most and another rule for my daughter. This is the only group I can take her to without relying on grandparents to take her which they would not be happy doing.
I was a brownie and got picked on by the leader and feel sick my daughter is being singled out but she does enjoy going so maybe my over thinking.

the world will not end if she doesnt start brownies straight away. is there a girls brigade near you she could do instead?

Once an active member of the movement, you are always a member and should be accommodated in your group. If you move you should be given priority over anyone else on the waiting list, who is not enrolled. Have a word with the DC if your Dd is not being included.

Does your rainbows allow them to stay?
Did you ask about staying well before the transfer time?

Are you aware that rainbows are run by volunteers who give a vast amount of their time for little recognition and no financial reward?

Could you train as a brownie leader and start a new pack?

I think cubs/scouts take girls so may see if they have a waiting list.

i think your own bad experience has you jumping to conclusions.

The other girls might be younger, have parents who volunteer or perhaps just got in first.

Have you asked why others have been allowed to stay when yours weren't. My Dsis volunteered for example so her DD would skip the waiting list which I think is fair enough (they're desperate for volunteers or wouldn't be able to keep going).

All the children that have a place at brownies or allowed to stay over time are leaders kids or the leaders kids friends. Some others have gone to different groups out of the area just my daughter hasn’t a place which is mainly down to I can’t get her to other groups due to work.

There’s 50,000 kids on the waiting list for beavers/cubs/Scouts

Me and DH help run out local beaver/cub/scout group and we have over 50 kids on the waiting list.
Last year we invited everyone on the waiting list to a meeting to basically say - we are at capacity, a new group needs to be set up, we are all happy to help set that up but we need volunteers to run it...... no one stepped forward, even though they are vocal enough about thier child not having a place!!

Being a volunteer takes up a lot of time and energy.

I would love to be a volunteer but I have a 1 year old that would then need to find child care for. My youngest loves to play with the others when I drop eldest off but unfortunately she can’t stay.

It makes sense the leaders kids are accommodated. No unpaid volunteer is going to pay someone to babysit their 7 year old one evening a week and sometimes all day at weekend so they can do activities with other 7 year olds. I’d speak to leader and see if volunteering would help, either helping in the unit or with admin you could do from home. I’ve been helping at dds guides every other week as they were up to capacity and by a few parents coming forward they can take more girls.

Elephantoverthehill
I was hoping this but worried she would be forgotten.

You could still offer to help with admin, sending emails, newsletters, coordinating subs payments, emailing consent forms etc

Just to be clear, is it that she has no place at all in any class, or is that she can have a place, but at a time that doesn't suit you?

Two of the girls aren’t leaders girls but have sucky up parents that are sickly nice to your face but would slag you off soon as yr backs turned. I know this as I’ve been on the receiving end of them both.

If that's truly how the group is run, I'd be glad to have my dd out of it.

They have space in other classes and I’m happy to take her to another if I could get her there but others could also take theirs to another class but they have been allowed to stay on after turning 7.

I’m starting to think the same tbh

justmakemeacuppa Sorry all these bloody MN acronyms means DC = District Commissioner in this case not 'dear child' or contact the ADC Brownies = Assistant District Commissioner for Brownies. Their contact details should be on your local website. Or if you are a bit of a rebel and not happy, as pp suggested perhaps consider the Scouting movement for your Dd.

I was in Brownies and Guides and my experience was that if your face didn't fit, it wasn't much fun. I ended up transferring to Venture Scouts and the people I have met through Scouting have seemed much more genuine.
When I had my DD, I was determined not to put her through the ordeal of Guiding! She joined Beavers and is just about to go up to cubs.

I'd try Beavers if I were you and then she can go up to Cubs when she turns 8.

If you want to volunteer there are a number of ways you can help. It doesn't have to be a regular commitment. Could be just serving teas at the AGM or helping on a fundraising stall once a year. If every parent got involved in some small way, it would make the leaders lives easier. Plus I've made friends for life through Scouting.

It might be age related depending on when all the birthdays fall. On a similar group I help out at there's age cut offs for insurance, they can't start until they're 4 and then it stops at 6 and something months, can't remember exactly.

Flavia in Scouting and I think Guiding too there are no age cut off limits due to age and insurance. The decision to move members up to the next section is on the discretion of the leader and the Group Scout Leader. That is how the organisations can be completely inclusive.

I was a leader for ten years. Insurance purposes stopped us keeping on girls past the age they moved up to the next group. Unless things have changed in the last ten years could be that. Wouldn't need insurance for their own child but doesn't explain the non children.

So she hasn't been kicked out, she has just been moved to a new session. You can't get to it, but that's not actually the group's problem. The children staying with the other group are there because their parents are actually running that session and some allowances are needed. Just like the teachers at school have their children hanging around before and after school in the classroom, while everyone else has to pay for BSC or ASC. You don't contribute, so there are not going to be any allowances made, so you have been offered the standard move to a new session and it is your choice not to accept it.

My daughter doesn’t really stick with much but rainbows she’s enjoyed and not lost interest. I just feel a little sad that the one thing she enjoyed going to has ended. Suppose at this point will just have to see if a space comes up and they contact me. Either that or try something new.