Aibu to think my child has been singled out?

[justmakemeacuppa]

My daughter has just gone 7 and is ready to move up to brownies only there is no space for her which I understand and accept. That is until I knew that there is other rainbows that were allowed to stay on until a place came up for another term. I asked if this was an option for my daughter which at one point was ok but she’s just come home tonight and I’ve been told again there is no space and couldn’t return. I know she can’t stay forever but it’s really pissed me off that it’s seems to be one rule for most and another rule for my daughter. This is the only group I can take her to without relying on grandparents to take her which they would not be happy doing.
I was a brownie and got picked on by the leader and feel sick my daughter is being singled out but she does enjoy going so maybe my over thinking.

So, first off, what Beccles & Groover said.

As a Brownie leader, I have autonomy over my waiting list. I have a clear policy, but total autonomy. It sounds as if your Rainbows feeds into one unit, but you want a different one. Straight away, you're on a back foot because your child will be late onto the preferred units list. Your leader can place your child onto that units list through GO, but you'll be later than others. For comparison, I place my Brownies on the list for Guides when they turn 9. I talk to the parents about which unit would work best first, and then pop them on a list. I can also roughly predict when places will become available within my unit because I do move girls on. Once they're a certain age above the parameter for the section they get bored. Trust me, that's not good.

Rainbows are very tight on numbers. I'm a district admin, and from the quantity of girls in our district of age for rainbows, but on the wait list - well, we could open another 5 units. Except we just cannot get the volunteers. Each volunteer gives up at least 3-4h a week. More for residentials. It's hard work!

It'll not be long. Get her looking at the badges at home while she waits, there's a badge finder in the GG website.

I was chucked out of brownies for being too old because of insurance so it was certainly a thing at one time It wasn't, it was a convenient excuse or a local by-law.

OP, it may be other girls were allowed to stay longer because them staying didn't mean a Rainbow waiting to join missed out. Ask the leader if there is another Brownie unit that has spaces, or if you can have contact details for the district commissioner who will know what units there are, it depends how rural you are but there may well be one on the same night/time that isn't too far. Not being in the clique means nothing if you want to join by the way, there will be a local unit that will snap you up or you could look at starting your own unit.

elephantoverthehill
Am not sure when it happened, but at some point we changed to having The Guiding Manual rather than POR. I remember we used to have POR because I looked some things up in some Rather Agéd Tomes in the wonderful days when we still had an archive. (Oh, the archive. Excuse me while I have a wee moment...)

Uniquack
It's a pity your local Rainbow & Brownie Units are [only able to] offer such a limited programme (no shade on the volunteers - that's better than closing the Unit; doubtless they ARE doing more than Just Craft even if it's not being shouted about; & if the waiting lists are so long clearly there's demand for the Programme they provide). My Brownies enjoy some craft, yes, but they also like tree climbing, pond-dipping, river clean-up, sailing, learning the basics of coding, making a frankly startling amount of slime, building the tallest towers they can, playing hide & seek in the dark, making wee rafts from natural materials to sail on ponds/rivers... Baden-Powell said fairly early on that groups will be shaped by their Leaders & it remains true. People are giving the time & energy they can - & accessing the resources available to them.

RedSkyLastNight
I had a 2yo appear on my Brownie waiting list last year. Not so very long ago you did need to put your daughter's name down at about 2 or 3 for them to get a space with us, so I wondered if it might be someone remembering that. Whatever the Why of it she's going to be making my Go! look untidy for a while...

Hell's bells & buckets of blood I should sleep. And no, I'm really not too excited about the programme launch to do so, just back too late from Guidey things...

Zebraowl thanks for your link but I can't access stuff because I am no longer a Guider, but I am quite sure that if you are an enrolled member you should be able to progress to the next section automatically however @drspouse disagrees. I am curious, my dd is a scout and has changed groups and it was easy as. I was a Guider and to the horror of our County we turned the Guide Company into a Scout Troop overnight. We were awful rebels.

@Menolly The OP's daughter was offered a place at other Brownie units, but turned them down.

@elephantoverthehill

I am quite sure that if you are an enrolled member you should be able to progress to the next section automatically

As a current member, you have priority for moving sections but if there's no space or volunteers to increase capacity...

We've had terms when no new brownie came from the waiting list-all rainbows AND there were still rainbows who were not in guiding for half a term or a term waiting for space at brownies. They couldn't stay as they'd outgrown rainbows and were impacting on the other girls and leader's experience of guiding.

@elephantoverthehill Scouting works in groups, Guiding doesn't. That's just the difference between the two. So it's no good saying "that's how it happens in Scouts"

After speaking to another mum it turns out a brownie will be leaving so will see if she is offered this space?

Sounds likeep a plan, just bear in mind that there could be more than 1 Rainbow unit feeding in to thst brownie unit.

MustShowDH Thu 19-Jul-18 22:49:21
I was in Brownies and Guides and my experience was that if your face didn't fit, it wasn't much fun. I ended up transferring to Venture Scouts and the people I have met through Scouting have seemed much more genuine.
When I had my DD, I was determined not to put her through the ordeal of Guiding! She joined Beavers and is just about to go up to cubs.

Conversely my daughter has had a fabulous time at Rainbows, Brownies, Guides and now Rangers (in fact I have just dropped her off in mid Wales - over the 3 weeks she is spending 5 days volunteering at the Royal Welsh, 3 days taking part in a community action project and 10 days in Malta attending a Jamboree. All through her involvement in Guiding). Both my boys left Scouting soon after moving up to Scouts having done Beavers and Cubs due to being bullied/picked on by other scouts.

It isn't really about "Guiding is great, scouting is awful - or the other way around. It is far more to do with an individual child's personality and whether or not it gels with the way the leader runs the group.

So a Rainbow who started in Rainbows at 6 wouldn't be above that girl if that's how they run the lists. It's up to the parents and the Rainbow leader to ensure the girls are on the Brownie waiting list. A girl who leaves is not a lifelong member

I’m really surprised by this to be honest, although it does explain why my DD was told there was no space for her in Brownies when she was 7, even though she had been in Rainbows since she was 5. At no time were we told we would need to ask to be put on a waiting list for Brownies. I assumed (incorrectly as I now know) that Rainbows would just move up to Brownies when a space was available. As it was, DD was able to join cubs at 8 instead as I’m a cub leader, and loved it - she’s now a scout, soon to move up to Explorers.

If a cub can’t move up to scouts because there is no room, they can stay at cubs until there is room. Priority is always given to those within the scouting movement, even those who have moved areas will get priority over those on the waiting lists who have not yet joined.

I appreciate that Scouts and Guides are different organisations and can choose to run their waiting lists however they want. But I do think we should have been told we needed to put my DD on a waiting list for Brownies, rather than just announcing there was no space when she was due to move up.