To think teacher's 'presents' are just a dick measuring competition now

[eyycarumba]

Last day of school, did the school run this morning and more than half the parents are walking carrying bags upon bags of gifts for teachers. Not talking small gifts or the odd box of chocolate, parents each carrying several massive gift bags (A2/A1 size), with the kids carrying smaller things. This is just hugely OTT right?
I understand getting the teacher something to say thank you, but some of these parents just seem to be showing off and have some unspoken competition to out do each other. If a teacher has gone above and beyond for your child wouldn't you want to gift them privately after school or via reception? - our school doesn't usually allow parents past the main doors at drop off so it's not like they're able to take these presents directly to the classroom, the parents were just standing around like lemons balancing these bags and boxes.
I had DS make a card saying thank you (he's had 4 teachers this year, the current one only for the past month so it's not like I could've got her something more personal anyway), but now I'm slightly embarrassed that we didn't get her something else. It's not a case we couldn't afford it (which some people might not, so that could be embarrassing for them too), I just didn't see the point in getting potential tat that they would have 10 of, food or drink they may not like or something that's not appreciated as much in comparison to the extravagant gifts. I was in school in the 90's/00's and I can't remember ever once getting a teacher a gift.

My dad was once given a full size cardboard cutout of himself that a GCSE class made for him. He kept it for years.

We're giving wine and a card as I am much less creative!

IMO, small, personal presents or cards are the best things, although my friend who is a teacher reckons it’s wine!

As a cub leader, we almost never receive presents, but I almost cried over a beautiful card that one of the cubs gave me last year, as the words he wrote were just lovely.

@Deadheadstickeronacadillac "Pop up Pope" - I love it.....

No OP, no cheese for you. At this time of the year teachers need all of the cheese. Because of all the wine.

My top tips for teachers presents is a montage photo from Boots (48p for a 7x5) glued to A4 card and decorated with references to convos that were had throughout the year. DS's had a photo of him and the teacher with smaller pics of the school play and sports day. His acrostic poem spelt "What is your Playstation name?".

I dont often post on these threads, but I will for this one. My mum taught in an FE college for decades (so post 16's). She always appreciated any gift, but what she kept, and still has in her 80's, were the thank you cards. I still remember the names of her key students (from 20-40 years ago) - not always the bright academic ones (but yes sometimes) but the ones who worked and fought their way to what they wanted to do. So a simple thank you with a personal message really will be enough.

I'm a teacher and a teaching assistant and the best presents I got today were a card with a personal message thanking me for helping her diabetic daughter throughout the year, a card with a picture of my class on the front and a key ring from the boy I assist that was in the shape of a train ticket as he loves trains. It's the little things that are the best. I feel uncomfortable if people go over the top with presents. OP, teachers definitely appreciate the little things, chocs, personal notes etc. So don't worry about those show off parents!

A personal message from a mother obviously!

My parents were raised in USSR so I was raised believing that not getting a teacher a gift was the height of rudeness. Thank you cards were also not a thing when I was a child, either a verbal thank you for something insignificant or flowers with a card.

I appreciate what teachers do so much- we trust our kids them every day. Showing gratitude through gifts is fine with me. I don’t think it’s showing off.

My DS in Reception chose chocolates and card for his lovely teacher, and a tin of vintage sweets for TA.

DS (8) decided we won't be buying anything for his teacher. His choice not mine. I don't think they really clicked and he feels she's done nothing but criticize him all year. It's definitely affected his confidence. I have to admit I have dreaded every parents meeting this year.

I wouldn’t begrudge teachers any gifts they get- a good teacher is worth their weight in gold! It’s only a competition if you feel bad you didn’t get more. If you think its OTT then there is no reason to worry about it.

My middle DS had a terrible teacher last year who made us consider removing him so the fact that this years teacher plus the two TA’s worked wonders with him meant they did get nice gifts - only a notebook, pen, posts-it’s etc but also a card expressing heartfelt thanks for everything they have done. He is like a different child now and I truly believe they are wonderful. Made sure the Head knew that too.

I’m a teacher, I shed a tear this morning when I received a card from one of my kids (5) and a lovely message from the parents in the other side. It was lovely.

Don't worry, OP, before you know it your kids will be secondary age and we hardly ever get presents! Only mild envy, bad of me I know!

I always get something for the class teachers/ TA because they really do go above and beyond for all the children. I would never want or expect special treatment, indeed I just quietly pop them on the gift table. I’m conscious our catchment has some very deprived areas so the teachers at our school probably get far fewer gifts that at some other schools. I could never imagine them changing their treatment of the children based on gifts.
I also make a point of taking a gift or two to the office for all the other staff to share. They often get forgotten but at our school at least they do so so much for the children.

It’s not showing off or competitiveness from me, it’s a genuine wish to thank them all.

Those who are saying giving teachers gifts in the 90s wasn't a thing.
My DDs went to school in the 90s and it definitely was a thing. But usually only cards and a small gift.

My youngest is a nightmare at school and his two teachers have been absolutely amazing with him (and me) sorting out issues with him all year round. One of these teachers is being made redundant and I'm gutted as she is amazing and I'm so sad to see her go. I'm getting them both flowers, the dc have made cards and I've written a note for them thanking them for what they've done. (and had to put up with!)

I don't care what anyone else thinks of that. And I don't care what anyone else gets/doesn't get the teachers. I'm sure Most people feel the same.

My mum worked in schools for years and recieved alot of gifts. Most made their way into charity tombolas to be honest. Hands down the ones she appreciated most were either small and very thoughtful from children and mums she had worked extra hard/ closely with or handmade by the children in her care.

Not to hi-jack your thread but something worth really thinking about...

Before she retired she also ran a girl guides group for 25 years(!) and comparitively recieved very few gifts. One day a mum came in for no reason, totally out of the blue with flowers and said..

"I was thinking while I was out this afternoon, teachers are always being thanked and given presents and they are paid but you give up your time every week for our children for free and I think you really deserve these"

She was extremely moved and told me that meant more than all the end of year "stuff" she ever recieved at school because someone had truely seen and appreciated what she was doing.

People forget about those who voluntarily care for children just from the love of doing it and because they believe they can make a positive difference to their lives. Also, because they pay a small amount for their children to attend clubs etc, perhaps they forget that the people running them give their time for nothing.

Boy4 (leaving primary this year) & Boy1 (lower sixth - has one teacher who is leaving the school) both produced (with varying amounts of help) hand made wooden/acrylic pens. Cost was probably less than a fiver for both but as I have had the stuff hanging around in the workshop for ages it was effectively free. I thought that a teacher can probably never have too many pens and it ticks the personal box whilst being small enough not to be a burden for the trip home

This is pop up pope in situ...

FFS. I gave generously to the teachers’ collection thinking a) they’re all fab and b) yay, saves me buying presents. Then discovered other parents were giving to the joint collection and giving individual gifts. So I’ve been out panic buying today and spent another £20. This thread is making me feel like I’ve been bloody had.

No more! This is Reception so I will learn for next year!!!!

I can't be doing with it. I used to stick £5 in the collection. Year 6 now and I no longer bother. Makes me laugh that the Head is at the gate at drop off on the last day of the year (only time ever) to receive her gifts and flowers like the bloody queen.

I do regret though that we have so little contact with the secondary school teachers as my older son's school is great. Found out today in the school mag that his German teacher is retiring. Would love to thank him for the great impression he's made on my son in his first2 years of the subject. Seems a bit impersonal to send an email.

My daughter was carrying in an a4 sized bag today. In it was a framed picture she had drawn of her teacher (frame cost a £1), a plant pot she had painted and decorated to use as a pencil holder and some pencils and chocolates. Very small present price wise. Not all big bags hold dick measuring type of gifts.

I usually buy pritt stick because teachers hate the cheap glue schools buy.

This year I got them a can of gin and tonic and a scratch card.

Depends if my kids like their teacher that year.