To think men ignore pregnant women as a backlash

[Pratchet]

Against women's rights? I just read this www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5968747/Why-men-stopped-offering-pregnant-women-seat.html in the Daily Mail and I was thinking, how much you have to hate women to refuse to give a seat to someone eight months pregnant?
Men seem to have had an incredibly childish reaction to being obliged to treat us equally - which culminates in 'ner if you want equal rights I'm keeping my seat'. They seem to think they're some kind of victim, and making pregnant women stand up is their revenge.

alpha

incredibly ignorant post. You have no idea how another woman feels during pregnancy. Just because you coped well, doesn’t mean everyone is so lucky. And lucky is what you were, not some sort of superwoman .

Well Alpha weren't you lucky with your experience of "spd"?
My experience (twice ) was 24/7 agony, whether sitting,standing,lying, moving, breathing. I was in a mobility scooter by 8.5months pregnancy.
So that was your experience. You rock. But don't assume everyone is like you.

Being honest was pregnant early 20s/30s and felt fine so was luckily I know.

Now at 51 my knees are shot and I find standing for a long time hideous so I would feel guilty not standing for a pregnant woman but I probably wouldn’t as it would cause me pain.

My white middle aged dh works in London and at peak commuter times seats are like gold anyway and it’s so cramped everyone is standing like sardines so to be getting up and down for pregnant women is impractical.

She wanted to write a magazine article

And back to the OP - I still suffer the aftermath of those SPD or more correctly in my case, PGP pregnancies. Standing even for a 20 min commute on a rocking train is very uncomfortable for my hips & pelvis. So an invisible impairment. But I hate asking for a seat as I feel like I'd have to explain.

Ah fuck off alpha.

People on public transport can just be rude. Someone who actually had a seat had a go at me one on a train for not moving up a bit, I explained I needed to stay where I was because I had a bad knee and needed to hold on to something and got glared at for the rest of the journey.

When I was pregnant nobody ever offered me a seat - and mostly got very interested in the floor to avoid making eye contact with me so they obviously felt they should but didn't want to. Even when their stop was three minutes away.

It’s common decency in my opinion to offer a seat to anyone less able to stand. It’s disgusting but I’ve seen people tut at wheelchairs & blind dogs on public transport. I’ve always worn the badges & often have asked for a seat. The whole thing about it’s not an illness is not particularly helpful as you can be very nauseous, have pain & your centre of gravity can be off so a seat can be helpful.

My husband had been shouted at twice now for offering his seat so he’s more reluctant but would still offer his seat.

@AlphaBravo

Have a medal for the most intelligent post on the thread.

You are aware that everyone’s is different as is every pregnancy. With DC1 I was up ladders stripping wood chip at 39 weeks. DC2 I could barely waddle.

I always offer my seat to elderly people or people who have difficulty walking however. It can be extremely difficult to tell if a woman is pregnant or overweight unless she makes it obvious therefore I would never assume but would give up the seat if asked

I was on a train at 38.5 weeks pregnant. Giant bump but no-one noticed til I took my coat off at which point I basically had a whole table of middle aged men throw themselves out their seats and offer me their seats.

They were totally confused when I declined but I'd had a lovely day and felt good, they had all been at work all day. I was more comfy standing than having to wedge myself in somewhere and I could rock my hips too.

Happened again when I was rocking baby in a sling, men kept offering me seats but I was trying to keep the baby asleep so just kept standing.

Not one woman seemed to notice either time. I don't think that all men do this! Some men are very lovely too.

When I was 8 months pregnant I used to have to commute to a specialist women's hospital due to a blood condition.
One time, the train was absolutely rammed and I had to stand in the aisle. It was only when I passed out that a woman jumped up to offer her seat.

You’re not wrong OP, I’ve heard many a man say things like “well you wanted equality....”; like it’s something we must be punished for.

AlphaBravo

How nice for you. I’m unable to lift anything greater than 10lbs due to previous miscarriages and a bleed earlier in this pregnancy, and have HG. It must be nice being super woman next to all us plebs with health issues.

I don’t view pregnant people as automatically needing a seat. I’ll offer my seat up for elderly, disabled and anyone that looks like they need it more than me.. but I don’t think a pregnant woman necessarily fills that criteria. If they do... they can ask (not demand, that wouldn’t get anything from me).

As for PP saying they’ve asked on behalf if pregnant women before, I’d be mortified!! My back and hips were painful towards the end, but sitting and then getting up again was excruciating, far better to stay standing ime.

I never got offered a seat when pregnant when I commuted 30 years ago. There were no such thing as priority seats then, either.
With all my babies though, I've always been offered help with carrying my buggy on and off the bus or up and down stairs, often/usually by men. I wonder if some men just find pregnancy embarrasing and just kind of zone pregnant women out.

It is strange that people have such different experiences. I wonder if it is line specific or whether some people just look more vulnerable. I always got a seat during my first pregnancy other than once after multiple cancellations and it was a scrum. I was feeling really dizzy and must have been looking a bit ropey because someone else that was standing saw me and asked for a seat. At least 20 men must have jumped up. I was mortified but I needed it. For some reason I could walk for miles when pregnant but found standing still really hard and would get faint quite quickly.

I was on the tube yesterday, didn’t have a seat but was leaning on those padded bench bits, a heavily pregnant lady got on and no one offered her a seat, so I offered her where I was leaning. She declined and then another woman noticed the pregnant lady and got up to offer her seat to the pregnant lady, no sooner had she stood up did a bloke in his 30s rush to sit in her seat, who was standing opposite us and clearly saw the lady had got up to offer her seat to the pregnant woman. He then proceeded to bury his head in his phone with headphones on so he could stay sitting and ignore the dirty looks he was getting

AngelsOnHigh you must have had fantastic pregnancies. I’ve felt felt pretty weak and sick for a lot of mine, plus my arches on my feet have collapsed because of the extra weight, standing or walking for any length of time is absolutely agonising!

I would give up my seat for a pregnant lady in the same manor I would a guy with a broken arm, elderly person, someone with a small child etc. It’s nothing to do with feminism or chivalry, it’s common manners and decency which most of us mirror from our parents.

London’s an odd one as it’s very diverse, not all countries have the same way of thinking.

Jesus Christ silkpyjamas, you’d like to bend over and loudly slowly in his face ask is there a reason you need this seat? I got up to give it to the pregnant lady, not any random asshole.

silkpyjamas wow what an absolute horrible cunt that man was

AlphaBravo I don’t think you actually had SPD did you, you might have had achey hips/pelvis but you wouldn’t be doing that with severe SPD!!!