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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to eat food from elsewhere

274 replies

moogoom · 18/07/2018 21:30

In an independent burger bar tucked away in the corner. It is 7:30 and just finished some shopping with kids in tow. DD has decided burgers are another thing she cant eat anymore so we quickly called next door for a kids sandwich and popped back to previous tucked away seat. The owner comes along and tells me to ask my daughter to put the sandwich away if we are eating in. But loudly so the customers can hear, which they all did. So would you call this pernickety behaviour or her prerogative?

OP posts:
Passonthemessage · 18/07/2018 22:01

I think it was short sighted of the owner to attempt to humiliate you for taking food into their cafe, unless they are over run with customers it was a fail in terms of returning custom. But taking your own food into a another eating establishment is not considered to be the done thing either and you should have expected a reaction of some sort.

FrancisCrawford · 18/07/2018 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Witchend · 18/07/2018 22:01

Usual situation in cafes. Surprised you had to ask.
If she lets your Dd, then she has to let the couple on the next table for their kids too, etc.

Namechange128 · 18/07/2018 22:03

If she's 9 and just picky with no other health or sn issues, then she could either find something she likes off the menu, or otherwise wait, as she can't be that hungry.
Burgers are not that tricky - even someone really fussy can ask for just a patty (red meat, chicken or veg), just chips, just salad or even just bread, given she's happy to eat a sandwich. That's plenty of options.

Hygge · 18/07/2018 22:03

Is there not another thread talking about this but from the perspective of the other customers thinking you were cheeky?

I'm sure I read one earlier, family sitting in one place but with a child eating food from another and being asked to leave.

kitkatsky · 18/07/2018 22:04

It's not just a business rule, it's also health and safety. Eg a restaurant might be able to say they only use gluten feee burger buns, you bring in a gluten bread sandwich and could affect lots of coeliacs- most wouldn't be so sensitive but some might. Sorry but you were being unreasonable

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2018 22:05

She's 9 years old.

You should've told her straight that if she's going to be fussy, she'll have to eat after you and your DS have finished.

Original poster
moogoom · 18/07/2018 22:05

Not a cafe not a restaurant but like mcdonalds, really? Just a small sandwich? Loooool

OP posts:
Original poster
moogoom · 18/07/2018 22:06

We dont live in a Victorian subterranean wormhole do we?

OP posts:
wafflyversatile · 18/07/2018 22:06

I think as you were having two meals from there and just one child's meal from elsewhere they were being petty and mean. They weren't losing out on business. Just because you own a business doesn't mean you have to be a dick. Businesses are still supposed to be part of the community.

cornflakegirl · 18/07/2018 22:08

I have a similar age fussy eater and there are plenty of places where he'd rather eat nothing than eat anything on the menu. He likes a fair range of food - but only if it's exactly as he expects it to be. I would normally ask before giving him something from another shop, but I agree they were short sighted to make a fuss when you'd ordered two meals from them. Better to sell two meals than none. And it's not really any better for them if she sits there not eating anything while you eat (and then eats the sandwich elsewhere).

Original poster
moogoom · 18/07/2018 22:08

So youd really make your kid stand outside or tell her to wait until we had eaten our food and leave before eating a small sandwich

OP posts:
ICJump · 18/07/2018 22:09

Young you have got take away and eaten on a bench somewhere?

surlycurly · 18/07/2018 22:10

*Just a small sandwich. Loool
*
Not sure why you asked for opinions, you clearly know you're right.

Original poster
moogoom · 18/07/2018 22:10

Was going to take it home but other child asked if we could eat in instead. Or eat in a hot car

OP posts:
LockedOutOfMN · 18/07/2018 22:11

YABU, OP. You can't being outside food into bars, cafés, pubs, restaurants.

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2018 22:11

Yes of course I would, assuming she's not going to die of starvation.

You've already described her as a picky little girl and quite a madam.

Do you think pandering to her whims is going to help with that?

If they allow you to flout the rules for your DD, what about everyone else?

Original poster
moogoom · 18/07/2018 22:12

surlycurly
Yes you are also right! 😂

OP posts:
Katri0na · 18/07/2018 22:13

I'd love to see a group of people ordering from an expensive menu of any Michelin Star restaurant and see the reaction if one of the party orders a pizza from another place.

Why don't you buy takeaways and eat together on a bench somewhere?
People bringing their own food in cafes or restaurants are just rude, unless they have an allergy and so suitable food available.

BigChocFrenzy · 18/07/2018 22:13

YABU
Other customers see you can bring food in, they do likewise
The profit per party soon nosedives

OlennasWimple · 18/07/2018 22:13

I don't know why you thought that this was Ok? Confused

TwitterQueen1 · 18/07/2018 22:13

We dont live in a Victorian subterranean wormhole do we?

No OP, we don't. We live in a civilised society where consideration, respect and an understanding of other people's professional and business priorities is acknowledged and accommodated - especially on their premises, where you should have the courtesy to abide by their terms - not yours.

TooTrueToBeGood · 18/07/2018 22:14

To those saying it should be ok if everyone else was eating food bought there, where do you propose to draw the line? It's a restaurant, their business is to sell food. A business model of "if 3 of you buy our food we'll let one other eat food from elsewhere" is ridiculous. It wouldn't be long before the CFers of the world started chancing their luck by pushing the 3+1 to 3+2 or 2+1 etc. OP could have endeavoured to find something on the menu for her fussy child or (god forbid) just not pandered to her. Fussy children have a funny habit of being less fussy when they aren't indulged. Got to laugh at the hypocrisy of being a cheeky mare bringing food into a restaurant yet the owner is the cheeky one for daring to pull her up on it in earshot of other customers.

OlennasWimple · 18/07/2018 22:16

You have my sympathies, in that I also have a fussy eater and meals out aren't always as relaxing as we would want... She knows that if she won't eat anything on the menu she will go hungry (we scour menus online / outside the cafe before we go in to minimise this, but there's always the issue of the plain pasta coming out scattered in herbs or similar, that makes it apparently inedible)

funnily enough, given long enough she will normally eat at least something on the plate of food that we thought would be OK, even if it's only the chips on the side

OliviaStabler · 18/07/2018 22:17

I think as you were having two meals from there and just one child's meal from elsewhere they were being petty and mean. They weren't losing out on business.

It's the evening dinner service time, a table of people ALL eating from the van could have come along and made the owner more money. She knows her trade patterns or she might have let it slide or maybe she was offended that your dd didn't want to eat from the van