Asked not to eat food from elsewhere

[moogoom]

In an independent burger bar tucked away in the corner. It is 7:30 and just finished some shopping with kids in tow. DD has decided burgers are another thing she cant eat anymore so we quickly called next door for a kids sandwich and popped back to previous tucked away seat. The owner comes along and tells me to ask my daughter to put the sandwich away if we are eating in. But loudly so the customers can hear, which they all did. So would you call this pernickety behaviour or her prerogative?

Wrong thread 😭

Yes I meant *subway

We buy her a drink at 5 guys, so technically she is consuming something from their menu, but still I think it's more than a bit petty for them to raise the issue mid meal and so audibly.
You probably won't eat there again now but if they had had politely mentioned as you were given the bill that unfortunately next time only food bought from the restaurant is allowed and that they were willing to alter a dish slightly in the future for your DD you'd most likely be more than happy to go back.

But no, they decided to try and embarrass you without knowing exactly why your DD had something different, she could have had any number of food/sensory issues.

It shows a real lack of customer awareness and service.

I think a Michelin starred restaurant could probably afford to have one or two customers a month bring in other food better than a small burger joint, especially an independent one. They are probably watching the bottom line with far more fear than, say, a Roux restaurant (but don't do it in any of them, it's just making it harder for them to continue to operate).

I am surprised that someone old enough to be the mother to a nine year old doesn't undrstand that though. I call foul!

I have a severely autistic 7 yo and if we eat out (on the occasions he'll stand for that) we will ALWAYS bring a packed meal for him because otherwise, he won't eat a thing. (aside from maybe an ice cream for pudding) I always, always politely explain the situation when ordering and explain that he won't eat a thing on the menu but needs his predictable, recognisable food we brought with us. It's never been a problem, ever. Servers are very happy to accept that. I anticipate more resistance as he gets older and larger, but hey, perhaps one day he'll consent to eat different things than the extremely limited menu he currently gets by on.

I can't eat McDonalds so when my daughter wants to eat that shite I get a pret a manger and take it in to eat with her... never any bother. maybe different with bigger chains vs independents...

You probably mean “won’t eat” not “can’t eat”. YABU

I got told off on here a few weeks ago for asking AIBU to take fruit into a coffee shop to eat with my porridge
Majority opinion was buy a take out coffee n go and drink it in park (not that there are any nearby)
Or wait and eat my fruit later
I have been spending less time and money in my local coffee shops as a result - as now no porridge and sometimes would have stayed long enough to order a second drink
Out of the 4 coffee shops I use most frequently 3 have asked me if they have upset me in anyway as I don’t visit or stay as often!
I explained and they really didn’t see the problem if I wanted to sit there and buy 2 coffees and some porridge and spend £7-8 plus eat a tangerine of my own or spend £2 ish and leave they seemed to prefer me to stay and spend more
Nice that I was missed 😉

great customer service

I'd let it if the rest were buying from my cafe. I figure I'd rather one eat something else out of a group than loosing the sale of a whole group because they have to go somewhere else

I think they were being unreasonable.

Two of you were paying for food from that venue.

People keep saying “she’s 9” as though 9 year olds are fully grown adults.

YABU and are obviously lacking in basic manners.

JaceLancs Thu 19-Jul-18 00:10:57
I got told off on here a few weeks ago for asking AIBU to take fruit into a coffee shop to eat with my porridge
Majority opinion was buy a take out coffee n go and drink it in park (not that there are any nearby)
Or wait and eat my fruit later
I have been spending less time and money in my local coffee shops as a result - as now no porridge and sometimes would have stayed long enough to order a second drink
Out of the 4 coffee shops I use most frequently 3 have asked me if they have upset me in anyway as I don’t visit or stay as often!
I explained and they really didn’t see the problem if I wanted to sit there and buy 2 coffees and some porridge and spend £7-8 plus eat a tangerine of my own or spend £2 ish and leave they seemed to prefer me to stay and spend more
Nice that I was missed 😉

For goodness sake , isn't the above exactly why we should ask questions for ourselves in real life. Ask the people who the issue concerns.

I don't think it's a big deal if the rest of you bought there but it's not the 'done thing' - certainly if you go to independent places.

I don't know why you bothered asking as you clearly don't think, even when it's explained why, that YWBU.

This reminds me of a very overbearing and antisocial French lady who I knew in Vietnam. One of the girls used to go out and buy me dinner when she was on her break, since I had a very difficult time crossing the road at night. I am visually impaired by the way and lived in the guest house, so I really appreciated this. Anyway, the French lady got very upset one day. Did she ever offered to help me, no. Anyway, as to your situation, I think you should have asked before you bought the sandwich. Some places will say yes if it’s for children. Or someone with a special dietary requirements.

Why couldn't she just eat the sandwich after you left the burger bar?

Yet another one piling in to say the restaurant fair enough. Your DD can pick from what’s on offer in the place the bill payer selects or go without. My oldest DD was veggie from the age of seven and sometimes had to dine on chips/onion rings, salad and a glass of milk.

People keep saying “she’s 9” as though 9 year olds are fully grown adults

By the age of nine a child realises that the world isn't just there for there own needs and whims.
Younger children and babies/toddlers are still learning this.

their

Whether you think it is right is not the point, if the proprietor or manager of the restaurant thought you were wrong, you were wrong.

Think this is an opportunity - stop facilitating your DDs fussiness - if she doesn’t want anything off the menu she can make herself something at home! Because it is not the done thing to buy something from next door.

We had a routine when we walked our dogs on the weekend whereby we'd stop off for takeaway coffee from Starbucks, and then fresh baguettes from an independent sandwich shop. Takeaway from both, for us to eat in the park or wherever we were walking the dogs. The sandwich shop owner twice commented negatively on the Starbucks and asked why his coffee wasn't good enough (-don't love Starbucks but his was vile!). After the second time, we just stopped buying our sandwiches there.

No restaurant / fast food place will want to establish a precedent that it is OK. If one person does it... Of course restaurants want to discourage a trend where people can walk in with food from elsewhere.

Your 9 Year old should not be given the impression that she can just always choose something from elsewhere. When do you think she might stop this? 12? 14? When out as a teenager with friends?

If she can eat a sandwich she can eat a burger bun with the cheese
Slice or whatever.

Anyone who did have a child over small toddler age that had sensory SEN / allergies WOULD have explained in advance. Because they are used to doing so and know they are making an exception. To be refused under those circumstances would be unreasonable.

No way would my NT 9 yo be pandered to like this, causing embarrassment and promoting entitlement.

It’s rude and cheap and something I never do. Maybe stay at home next time as the eating out concept clearly isn’t for you.