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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my dd to stay 3yo forever?

74 replies

WK007 · 29/05/2007 13:22

Just got the introduction letter from dd's school-to-be and feel almost narked. I don't want dd to go to school and grow up, she's gorgeous and fun and cuddly as she is and I want her to be my tiny little baby girl forever.

I can't have another one so soon I'm going to end up with a stroppy teenager and my LO will be gone for good.

AIBU to think this shouldn't be allowed?

(and its time of the month so I'm willing to accept I'm being emotional and unreasonable)

OP posts:
Desiderata · 29/05/2007 13:25

I'm in the same boat with my ds, WK (although he's a little bit younger).

He's my very bestest mate, and I shall miss him like crazy when he goes to school.

YANBU.

hippmummy · 29/05/2007 13:26

I cried when we got a letter saying we had to apply for a school place for DS1.

He's nearly 4 and will start next january, but is already doing four mornings at preschool.

Actually he's being such hard work at the momemt I can't wait!

jo25 · 29/05/2007 13:35

I am with you it is sad, My ds wil be 5 in oct, and i am already an emotional reck about it!!! We can not have any more and i think that just exaggarates those feelings. I regularly tell my ds that he will still be my baby when he is 45!! I really don't want to forget these very special memories we have created but am also looking foward to making more. YANBU I completely concur with you.

Original poster
WK007 · 29/05/2007 13:35

Know what you mean about dc being your bestest mate - dd's literally like a mini-me (in looks and mannerisms) and I don't want to lose that.

hippmummy - dd starts F/T next Jan too, but she starts part-time in Sept. She's hard work and it wears me out and stresses me out when I'm with her but when I'm not I miss her.

The silly thing is she's already at nursery f/t because I've been working since she was 2, then been at college and now s/e, so I won't see her any less. Just seems so different, the idea of her at school - at nursery its just like dropping her off at a friends for a few hours. And at nursery I could easily pretend she was still a tiny baby, at school she'll be a little madam.

OP posts:
Original poster
WK007 · 29/05/2007 13:43

Thanks jo - for the first time its starting to dawn on me why my father still treats me like I'm 5, he probably wishes I still was!

Can remember being a little upset when dd learnt to walk, because then she stopped being a baby but now I wouldn't go back so hopefully I'll feel the same after she's been at school for a while.

OP posts:
suzywong · 29/05/2007 13:43

I miss ds1, yr 1, like crazy when he's at school and ds2 goes next year. I will be gutted and probably have to get a yorkshire terrier to replace them. Or a baby orang utang and shave it.

fryalot · 29/05/2007 13:44

I went through all of this with dd1.

You will be so incredibly proud on her first day.

Original poster
WK007 · 29/05/2007 13:45

Shaved orang-utang! What a great idea! Or a baby chimp, they're so cute!!! I could nick one from the zoo and exchange it for a new one every year - have a baby forever!!! They don't cry in the night do they?

OP posts:
notdoneyet · 29/05/2007 13:53

hiya, i had a letter this morning about my preferred choice of schools for my dd3 and she is only 12 WEEKS, i had my son registered with the same school as my 2 dd's when he was 3 weeks old, only because i was late picking dd2 from nursery one morning and decided to talk to the teacher and put his name down.

Anna8888 · 29/05/2007 14:00

My daughter is 2.6 and I know exactly what you mean - they are just so gorgeous and affectionate and love being with their parents at that age, and school marks a sign of progression away from that towards the outside world.

Personally, since I have been lucky enough to be a SAHM while my daughter is little, I feel fine about her moving on to school. I sometimes wonder whether it is not a lot harder for WOHMs who don't see so much of their children to accept the progression... as if somehow their relationship hadn't been allowed to run its natural course?

Original poster
WK007 · 29/05/2007 14:08

notdoneyet - 12 weeks!!! Wow - I only put dd down last Nov (when she was about 3.5), barely gave it a thought before then!

anna - not sure, you could be right. Maybe there's a bit of 'get them off my hands' with some SAHM's as well. I've had a bit of both in that I was a SAHM until dd was 2, then worked 30hrs p/w, so still saw a fair bit of her, then went to college, which was 8-5ish without seeing her. I couldn't totally be a SAHM because it drove me a little mental (fab as dd is), and as a single mum I need to be able to earn a decent wage. For me the hardest thing is that I have seen dd grow up through all her stages and the 2-4yo stage has been so great (more or less, in the wonderful rose tinted hindsight) that I'm really loathe to let it go.

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 29/05/2007 14:16

I don't have a feeling of wanting to get her off my hands at all... I love her being around. But I can no longer do all the things we used to do together when she was very little - she no longer happily sleeps for hours in a pushchair while I shop or go round a museum or for a long walk, and she doesn't have the same tolerance for hours at a restaurant that she used to, so in that sense she restricts my movements more than before. And she is beginning to thrive in the company of lots of other children, which school will provide, as well as things like singing, nursery rhymes etc. And she loves dancing and needs a little ballet class. She's desperate to learn to play tennis too (like her father and brothers). In fact, she's generally very enthusiastic about doing things in the world beyond the home that I can't provide her with and am more than happy to see her wanting to do - I'd probably feel more reluctant about progressing on to school if she wasn't so obviously enthusiastic and ready.

OrmIrian · 29/05/2007 14:17

WK - I feel the same about DS#2. My last baby and I am so sad about it all.

OrmIrian · 29/05/2007 14:17

WK - I feel the same about DS#2. My last baby and I am so sad about it all.

americantrish · 29/05/2007 14:25

not unreasonable at all!! my son is 3 next month and even though he drives me nuts somedays, i just dont want him to grow up so fast!! i dread the time when he WONT want to hold my hand, or hug me in public......

Original poster
WK007 · 29/05/2007 14:31

Didn't mean you thought 'get them off my hands' anna - just know some parents would feel a bit like that after 4/5 years at home - and there's nothing wrong with that. Know what you mean about being ready to progress and dd is like that - she loves being around other kids and jumps at anything new so she'll probably love school - she already loves nursery more than home (because of the other kids around). It's not really the going to school, its the obvious marker of how quickly she's growing up.

Glad I'm not the only one Ormirian and americantrish! DD is already getting very restricted in her hugs - she used to want to hug me all the time. At least she still holds hands in public but that'll go soon enough. Its just all these markers that get you down.

With genetic engineering they should be able to stop your kids at whatever age you like best

OP posts:
Simsy · 29/05/2007 14:35

My son is 4 in July and just seems too young to start school in september.

3andnomore · 29/05/2007 14:38

lol, don't think you are being unreasonable...albeit, I really don't understand you, lol...but that might be due to teh fact that by now I can't wait to ship my younger 2 off to school, as they are always fighting, etc....

contentiouscat · 29/05/2007 14:44

My "baby" starts in September too and whilst I am not ready he definately is.

Simsy · 29/05/2007 14:46

My little one would prefer to stay at home with me. He likes preschool, but not as much as home.

flightattendant · 29/05/2007 16:42

Can hardly bear it. DS just turned four and keeps getting all grown up on me. I'm about to have another baby but that just makes it worse - like I'm frightened I'm going to miss the last moments of my 'big' DS because I'll be so busy with the new one
I'm filling up just thinking that...

and YANBU!!!!!!!!

OrmIrian · 29/05/2007 16:45

WK007 - I am definite that I don't want another baby - 3 is more than enough in this house! But I want to be able to relive some of the moments. A replay button for any time over the last 10 years since DS#1 arrived because so much has been forgotten. And no matter how hard you try to hold on, time still slips away

3andnomore · 29/05/2007 16:53

Orm, now that I can completely understand, that is how I feel....and I mean, about the 3 is enough to the replay button over the past 10 years...well, o.k. es will be 11 next week....!
(I mean there are moments, where I just would love to have a bump again, or feel a Baby kicking inside me, to give Birth one more time, to Breastfeed again...but not enough to actually want another child permanently, lol! So, a replay Button of past events would so sort me)

Otter · 29/05/2007 16:58

my ds3 is not even my baby and he is my fourth child. I will be heart broken to lose him to full time school
he is so precious.i say most days - i wish tie would stand still with him - his rosy skin - button nose " i am gardenin' mummy - look at my seed! i am growin' a peach" sniff sob BAWL

rollonsummerholidays · 29/05/2007 20:57

ditto they so change when they go to school!! I love this age d/d is 4 july going to be one of the youngest in her class . I love so much about her and the baby smell is in her hair still at school they lose that now i am being silly but ditto to your thoughts

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