Can’t get this child out of my head

[EWAB]

Son is in this football club. It is run by the guy who ran after school club at primary. When he was asked to join I declined as I was working and couldn’t have done drop offs etc. This other mother stepped up and has taken him for last two years. I have never been.
Yesterday I was delighted that I had broken up and could collect them from this end of term party.
I arrived and there was my son in a new shirt that I hadn’t seen before but suddenly my son appeared next to me. The boy in the new shirt w him. I was stunned and son said “Everyone says that! I think he looks like B.” B is my nephew.
We leave I get son and friend in car and there getting into her car was this woman my brother used to go out with. She didn’t see me. I don’t know how I kept it together. I felt sick last night. There is no one in the world I can talk to about this. My brother is now married. I am convinced this is his child.

There is absolutely no way the courts would demand a DNA test on the basis that someone saw a child at a football game who happened to look like a relative who once went out with the mother.

There is no way the mother would be obliged even to prove parentage of the child On that basis. For all we know she is in a relationship with the father and he is on the birth certificate. The courts absolutely would not get involved here. All this talk of having a DNA test based purely on circumstantial evidence is fantasy and nothing more.

Can you imagine the solicitors letter? “My client is requesting a DNA test on the basis his sister saw the child and said it looks like her son (not her brother,) and as such my client believes that the child whose age and date of birth are entirely unknown at this stage may actually be his child. As such we request that you provide a DNA test in order to satisfy the plaintive that he is in fact the biological father of this child.

He’d be laughed out of court.

This is bizarre indeed.

My dd has a wee pal to whom she bears a striking resemblance. Both the other Mum and I have commented that we have confused them from a distance or have got the wrong child if they had their backs to us. Staff at the nursery were often commenting on the similarity - not just physical but in how they conducted themselves. We met recently for the first time in a while and the girls still look similar enough to at least be cousins. But they are not. They are just children with similar physical attributes - which is probably why they are friends.

I am not sure why anyone is Ssuming here that this wee boy is missing a dad. He quite possibly has a dad at home who looks a fair bit like OPs brother. The idea of bursting into their lives with righteous indignation is ridiculous

Well obviously any claim would be based on more than just "his sister saw a child who looks like him" - like the fact that they were likely to be together and having sex at the time of the child's conception. It really is just a matter of maths and not that fucking hard to work out once the child's age is known.

Who is suggesting they burst in with righteous indignation - as far i can read people are suggesting that the op talks to her brother. Not demand the entire family go on Jeremy Kyle.

No-one is suggesting dramatics, or the OP demanding a DNA test (well apart from a couple of over-enthusiastic detectives at the start!)

The suggestion is merely to tell the brother.

It's then in his hands, and could go many ways:

• "yes, he is mine but we agreed I wouldn't be involved." Fine - OP has to respect that. She might think differently of her brother/have more questions, but it's basically the end of the story

• "given the age, he can't be mine" Fine - OP can stop thinking about it
• "Oh blimey, I'll have a chat with ex". Now in DB's court. OP will obviously then respect whatever comes out of that. If her DB believes a DNA test is in order later on, it will be because he has his reasons following discussion with his ex, and because he's chosen to take that path.

"The boy looked slightly older than mine so the dates tie up. "

So it's not even known when the boy was born!

If it was me I would leave this well alone. A complete hornets nest...

Iused2BanOptimist
Interesting theory, but your statistics are off. 1 in 2500 babies are born with cystic fibrosis, 1 in 25 people carry the faulty gene that causes it.

Whoops. Thanks Fish. Should've checked instead of relying on my dodgy memory.  hey ho

Still an unlucky coincidence to marry two carriers and then lose at the 1:4 toss of the genetic dice. Four times.