Any midwives out there?

[FuckMyUterus]

So I am around 12 weeks pregnant, currently in sales and promotion, however I have always dreamed of going to university and becoming a midwife. I have a son already who has additional needs which has been a big reason for my dream not becoming a reality.
Am I being unreasonable to think I can complete an access to midwifery course whilst pregnant and working and then go on to university with a young baby and an older child? Don't want to start something I can't finish.

I would honestly think about whether you want to become a midwife. I have just left the profession due to the impact on my mental health and quite regret starting if I'm perfectly honest.

I have never been so bullied, belittled and humiliated as I was as a midwife. No exaggeration! I'm still in therapy dealing with the emotional side effects. Yes there were parts of my job I loved, and birth is amazing, and caring for women and families is such a privilege, but it also comes with its own costs. Late nights, anxiety, worry, feeling frustrated you can't give the care you want to because you're being sent here there and everywhere. It's a conveyor belt.

I realise I am biased because the last 7 years have been horrendous, but I can't recommend it as a career. It has broken me.

Do you have a supportive husband or partner? At my midwifery degree interview I was told, you might as well forget you have a family as you won’t see them for three years. The hours are intense. 40 hours a week on placement plus your skills booklet and theory/assignment writing. There are no burseries now so you will be saddled by a load of debt when you qualify. They aren’t remotely interested in you being ill, your children being ill, major life events. You are expected to be there each and every day come what may. I didn’t finish my training due to ill health but my peers who did had no support during their first year, they don’t have the same supervisory structure so you are left to deal with a lot yourself. They went straight in to high risk cases within the year unsupervised and one had a student with her within six months.

Oh bloody hell :(
I just want to help people and make a difference. I also have the option to do access to nursing and then a nursing degree as well, however I don't have a huge interest in many areas of nursing, so don't feel I'd give 100% all of the time. I really need to retrain and get out of sales and promotion as its making me depressed and affecting my home life.

I do have a supportive partner, but he works looooong hours, so he'd be responsible for literally all of the childcare plus working 50-60hrs a week, I don't know how sustainable that would be for him.

Sorry FMU - to answer your question about whether you can do it, my friend started midwifery training with an 11 month old, and 2 older girls. She passed it all, with supportive family, and managed with a husband on a military deployment, breastfeeding a small child, and managing everything. She's ace, and a fantastic midwife. If you want to do it, you can do it.

Could you look at training as a maternity support worker? You'd still be doing lots of care, but without a lot of the politics and crap of modern midwifery.

Pregnant, working and uni with a young baby and another child and the hours and placements, I’d say no way.

I’m not sure how you would complete an access course whilst pregnant?

Places have probably already been filled for septembers intake. And if you did get in you wouldn’t be starting until you were 5 months pregnant and you would be giving birth half way through, it’ll run through until June or July and the access course is full on.

In my degree those who have completed the access course said the first year at uni is a walk in the park compared to the year access course.

I got pregnant during my training and completed the course heavily pregnant with my second. It is doable! Have you worked in healthcare before?

However I have to disagree with Amanduh.

I’m 17 weeks pregnant, working and doing a nursing degree.
After I finish maternity leave I will be completing my third year whilst juggling 3 children a job, placements and a dissertation. It will be the hardest year of my life but bring it on! It will be worth every ounce of effort.

Just as another point of view. I've been a midwife for 16 years and I love it. I look forward to work every day. That's not to say there aren't pressures but if you really want to do it, it is worth it. Everyone is different though and only you know whether you can handle the stresses that come with it. Childcare if one of those as the hours are all over the place. The training is hard and all consuming so maybe you could leave it another couple of years to decide?

justvent its a local private course centre that costs a little more than the local college, but they still have 2 places left on course starting end of September. Their course times aren't fixed either, you do all your assignments as and when, and you have to 'book' to have them marked, so it can take longer than a year, or theoretically it could take less, but course guide man said he's never heard of that actually happening.

Oh wow I’ve not heard of that option before!

In that case GO FOR IT.

You will not regret it, take this opportunity. You’ll absolutely love it.

Thank you! Yeah, I've not heard of it before either, and was convinced it was a scam, until I asked to hang up and Google and for the course man to ring me back after 15 minutes. The company is by all accounts legitimate, they work quite closely with the OU apparently.

How much does it cost?

Haven't used a calculator and my maths isn't what it was, it's charged per module and including enrolment fee (which covers support for the first 3 months of any uni course you go on to within 2 years of the access course) it's around £1250 I think.

Yeah that sounds about right.

I say go for it. It’s actually really hard to get on access courses. Where I live they are so over subscribed they tell people to go on a years course before going on the access course. If you have the opportunity then go for it.

Eeek, ooh I'm so nervous and excited 😁

Let me know how you get on!

Where can I do this magical course?! I’m looking for nursing access myself and that sounds ideal.

I'm a student midwife. My kids were 2 and 3 when I started the course. It's worked out ok for us so far (I'm going into third year) but personally speaking I think I would have found it too difficult, had my littlest one been any younger. I kept breastfeeding her for six months after the course started, then she weaned. I think if I hadn't been doing such a full-on course involving nights etc we might have kept going a bit longer, but 2.5 years was a great achievement for us so I didn't mind too much.

All that said there are some people on my course with younger babies and they have kept going, there are single mothers to large families, people straight out of school, people with previous degrees etc, all sorts and we are all quite close now and help each other out. It is possible.

Again personally speaking only, I think I would have the baby, wait a bit, then do the access course / midwifery degree. It is very full-on. I didn't do Access but people who did said it was hard compared to the degree, which is difficult enough! But if you have the opportunity to do it at your own pace then I guess there's no harm in starting and if you do need to take a bit longer to complete it, then so be it?

Do you follow Mama Unexpected on Facebook/instagram? She is a student midwife with two kids, the eldest of which has additional needs. Very inspiring woman!

You say you have no interest in nursing - are you aware that there are many aspects of midwifery similar to nursing? I'm curious why you've said that, what your perception is of the work involved in both nursing & midwifery?

I'm not a midwife, I'm an ex nurse. I trained a long time ago but still have friends and family in, doing initial training, who are trainers. From what I'm hearing it's become even more intense, more demanding and less supported. With 2 DC one with additional needs, and you're planning to do access course while pregnant and first years training during that babies first year and with another child who needs a lot of input...honestly I think you're naive.

Have you another degree? Have you done study at university level before? I'm guessing not.

Nursing & midwifery training, my understanding and experience is that your essentially doing BOTH a full time job AND a full time degree at the same time!

I did my nursing degree pre-DC and still found it tough.

I'm a second year student midwife. I have 2 dc's but they are both older.

2 of my cohort deferred a year she they found out they were pregnant and both started when their babies were 9 months old

The main thing I would worry about would be childcare. When you are on placement you are expected to work the same shift patterns as your mentors, so nights, long days, 13 hour shifts.

Also, midwifery courses are hugely oversubscribed, it would be really helpful for your application to get some voluntary work before you apply so you can show you really understand what the role involves. Good luck.

@thirtyplus1 it’s an access course. Your local college will do it.

If your dh works long hours how will you manage childcare if you get a place on a midwifery course? You will need to work nights, day shifts start at 7am and a late shift or long day might not finish until 8 or 9pm.

My dh had to do 95% of childminder drop offs and pick ups when I was training. And when I was working actually. You get no choice in your shifts, you have to work what your mentor works. You’ll work weekends. You’ll get off late. You’ll miss sports days, nativity plays, first day at school, you’ll get a phone call saying your dc is in a&e and you say if it’s just a broken bone you can’t come down. When you’re qualified you’ll miss xmas days.

You’ll spend three years doing nothing but be at the hospital or uni and writing assignments/revising. And accrue significant debt. You need to be passionate about midwifery to stick it. The drop out rate is fairly high.

JustVent not true for all local colleges. Nearest one to me is 2 hours away by train.

Local college doesn't offer it, neither does college in nearest large town. Got to go to nearest city.