Any midwives out there?

[FuckMyUterus]

So I am around 12 weeks pregnant, currently in sales and promotion, however I have always dreamed of going to university and becoming a midwife. I have a son already who has additional needs which has been a big reason for my dream not becoming a reality.
Am I being unreasonable to think I can complete an access to midwifery course whilst pregnant and working and then go on to university with a young baby and an older child? Don't want to start something I can't finish.

I really really wouldn’t get in 30k of debt to be a healthcare professional! My nursing diploma of higher education was free and I got a bursary. I certainly would not pay to be treated as healthcare assistant for thousands of hours.

I absolutely would not recommend nursing or midwifery as a career. And now you have to take on 30k debt for the privilege? No, just no.

Maybe not then... graphista not sure why you think I've not studied at degree level, but thanks for your assumption.
I actually have a foundation degree in counselling, but found whilst on placement that the things I'd be hearing affected my mental health negatively, so I finished the degree nevertheless and decided not to pursue the career.

Maybe be a doula instead.

And again graphista I never said I have no interest in nursing, however I know that on placement you often have to rotate through different wards. I have no interest in, for example, geriatric care, or critical care, and I wouldn't want to just coast through those parts of placement, doing the bare minimum for the patients, who deserve better.

I trained as a midwife before I had my children, I was 17 weeks pregnant when I started as a band 5. Worked until I went off at 35 weeks. Went back after two back-to-back mat leaves and three children; I lasted 6 months. Couldn't afford the childcare or work the logistics of it with night shifts and my husband's hours, and that was with a really lovely ward manager who bent over backwards to accommodate set hours for me.

I've been asked now that my kids are a bit older if I'd go back to it; the honest answer is no. The profession hooks you in with the promise of supporting women/making a difference, the reality in my experience (as a hospital midwife) is that most of the time you're covering your back writing notes and filling in a thousand different forms instead of paying any attention to anyone, you're run ragged and have no time to find a real connection with the families you care for. My view may have been coloured by the fact that I rotated to postnatal ward after my mat leave and I just loathed it, but certainly it has no pull left for me - and I was the most sparkly-eyed, passionate midwife-to-be ever! The dream and the reality are very different things. It is hard, bone-wearying work - if the bursary were still in place I'd perhaps encourage you to give it a try despite my own misgivings, but I simply can't see how it's worth accruing that sort of debt for.

I also felt very out of my depth as a NQ midwife and despite that I often had a student working with me within about two months of starting (not as a mentor, but spending a considerable amount of time with me nonetheless).

I've now retrained in a completely different profession and am much happier!

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to say you have no interest in nursing.

I’m a student children’s nurse and have zero interest in midwifery. I also have zero interest in adult nursing. I want to do child nursing and I’m good at it.
It’s ok to say what you like and it’s ok to have a niche when you get there.
I love babies, neonates, HV and safeguarding so far.
There’s particular parts of nursing that I wouldn’t like.

That’s pretty normal.

Also, don’t listen to those trying to put you off nursing and saying don’t do it.
Imagine if everyone listened to that advice. The NHS would be fucked. We’d all be fucked. No nurses! No midwives! 😱

I’m a student midwife. I’ve just finished my first year and it’s bloody hard work but it’s also the best thing I’ve ever done. I don’t have children but a lot of my cohort do. Of course you can do it, you can do anything you put your mind to. My advice would be just make sure you have good flexible childcare. I feel that family are probably better than a child minder/ nanny as you will need them over night and at weekends.

I also have absolutely 0 interest in nursing. I love caring for women and their families even when that means changing beds and wiping bums however doing that for an 85 year old is a different ball game.

I did my MW qualification pregnant with a 2 year old. Do-able but bloody hard. I was already a registered nurse.

If you’ve never worked in a hospital environment though, try it out first as an HCA or maternity assistant first before you commit to anything.

You mention that your mental health suffered with the counselling. Have you considered how you’ll feel when dealing with death? Sadly babies and mothers do die and you have to be strong enough to cope with that too, alongside the immense responsibility placed on MWs shoulders now.

If you want to go for it, then do it. But I’d strongly advise some work experience in a hospital if you don’t already have it.

Join a midwife company when you're qualified. Like One2One midwives. Avoid the holy hellhole of NHS Midwifery.

Also forgot to mention there is a Facebook group called the secret community of aspiring midwives that has hundreds of members and is run by a midwife called Ellie Durrant. The group is fantastic for answering questions and giving advice. I’d also advise buying Ellie’s book “Becoming a student midwife”

I think onetoone midwives operates in very limited (two) places in the U.K. maybe it’ll become more widespread but it’s currently not an option for 99% of midwives.

You could absolutely do it if it's 100% what you want. I am a nurse and did my masters degree in midwifery, it wasn't for me but I gave it a go.

If I was to give any advice it'd be to do it this way round, you then would be dual qualified and have nursing to step back on should you not enjoy midwifery. There are so many different fields of nursing, whereas midwifery is just that, midwifery.

I do also honestly believe that no harm only good can come from a midwife having nurse training too, which most people in midwifery and obstetrics agreed with. However, there was a clear divide between direct midwifes and dual qualified midwifes which meant for a bit of a sour atmosphere sometimes.

Does annoy me when op's get shirty when pps dare to think things based on WHAT THE OP SAID.

Most people who already have a degree don't need to do an access course as they already have the entry requirements. That's why I GUESSED and ASKED if that was the case.

"however I don't have a huge interest in many areas of nursing" - think that's fairly clear, that nursing doesn't appeal to you. Not being a midwife I don't know but I'm guessing and asking those who ARE midwives that there's a lot of nursing elements to midwifery?

I have to say I suspect you're one of many that has a fairly romanticised idea of the job, without any real knowledge of what's involved.

"If you’ve never worked in a hospital environment though, try it out first as an HCA or maternity assistant first before you commit to anything." Excellent advice - especially with the above in mind.

"You mention that your mental health suffered with the counselling. Have you considered how you’ll feel when dealing with death? Sadly babies and mothers do die and you have to be strong enough to cope with that too, alongside the immense responsibility placed on MWs shoulders now." Also true. Among my close friendship group I can think of only a handful of us that are mothers that haven't experienced: issues raisin with either mother or child meaning the mother was advised they could consider tfmr, mc inc late term mc, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, at birth discovery or indication of serious disability or life limiting illness, near death of the mother.

Hate to be a moaning myrtle but I’m just leaving my nursing degree now. I got pregnant in my first year. Took some time off. Tried to go back but working 40+ hours a week and studying and having a 2 year old just wasn’t do-able. Employers don’t care about childcare issues, nhs has so many problems. Very sad

In addition to the above comment, I found it particularly hard to strike up a relationship with a mother and her partner, so they trusted me enough to deliver their baby safely to then hand he/she straight to social services as the child was unsafe in the care of either or both parent.

A lot of the care in midwifery is 'nursey', so if hat doesn't appeal I'm not sure it'd suit you either as you rotate within midwifery care too labour ward/post natal/antenatal/clinics/pregnancy assessment/community etc

Everything Graphista said.

And is it even remotely practical to manage childcare with HCP shifts, coursework, assignments and a DH working those hours? Don’t underestimate the culture shift in going from a career you are established in, to a student role in the NHS. You will not be treated like an adult for a very long time. That is not easy to deal with as a mature student.

I'm a nurse not a midwife. I think doing any health care course is a bit nuts if you've got a really young baby and a older kid with additional needs tbh - half the course is placements which are physically, emotionally and mentally draining!

Personally I'd pick nursing over midwifery (obs!) as it has more variety. One of my friends qualified as a midwife 3 years ago, she used to love it but now she's bored and hates it, and there isn't much else she can do.

A friend with five children retrained to be a midwife and now works full time.

She hired a full time nanny to do so.

You will not be treated like an adult for a very long time. That is not easy to deal with as a mature student.

Err.... I can categorically say that I absolutely do not get treated like a child by anyone. Not on my placements and not at uni.
What a ridiculous thing to say.

Well, thanks for most of your replies. I'll stay in the field I'm in.

Really? You let them put you off?

You did say in your OP that you had always dreamed of going to university and becoming a midwife.

That could easily mean that you have never been to uni before but are only thinking of doing it now in order to train to be a midwife. I would have read it that way too. No need to attack people over it. You did say it.

I find there’s an extreme view of both Nursing, midwifery and teaching on MN, don’t be put off. I’m returning to Nursing after a substantial break which is going against the tide of most people leaving! The opinions on here seem to be of the worst case scenario - which of course you should consider because they do reflect the reality, but there are good times too.

I stand by what I said to experience it first before you decide.

justvent my question was put to people in the field and asked was IBU to think its doable? I don't mean is it doable as in physically possible, obviously it's possible. I have no experience of what the access and full time degree course will be like so if people are saying it's not really doable, then what am I to do? I'll stay where I am til I've had baby and then look to retrain in something that is doable.