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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People shortening your name

83 replies

SparkleSoiree · 17/07/2018 12:41

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but it's happening so much that I'm wondering if I am!

For example, you introduce yourself to someone as "Katherine" and they reply with "hello Katie". It gets my back up. When I've politely corrected them and said "It's Katherine" they appear to get irked that you've corrected them.

Katherine isn't my name but it's a similarly long name and I just don't like the shortened versions so prefer my given name.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 17/07/2018 12:43

People often think they are being friendly shortening a name and may well feel rebuffed. The only way would be to be super nice and jokey about it rather than miffed

blackbirdbluebottle · 17/07/2018 12:46

People often shorten names immediately by habit however YANBU if you tell them you don't like the shortened names and they keep saying it

redcarbluecar · 17/07/2018 12:49

Although my name doesn’t really have diminutives, I always think this must be annoying and is sometimes a bit disrespectful. It’s not hard to ask someone what they’d like you to call them rather than making assumptions.

DanielCraigsUnderpants · 17/07/2018 12:50

YANBU I am happy with the shortening of my long name but I dont like people being over familiar and giving me a nick name without there being a relationship or agreement there. I'd just say, please can you call me "katherine" I dont like the shortened version. Maybe a little less snippy then "its Katherine"

MagicFajita · 17/07/2018 12:52

My wedding photographer kept shortening my name , drove me mad.

Lovely photos but he was utterly unbearable as a person.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/07/2018 12:52

Well it's your name. I always refer to people as what them introduce themselves as. However at the sametime. If I had to swear under oath I couldn't say it didn't sound a tad cranky. Plus I just wouldn't be arsed correcting people all the time.
It works the other way, too. I had a friend who's mum would not allow her name to be shortened. In the end her she said to her mum. "Mum it's my name. If I want it shortnend that's up to me.

user7469322 · 17/07/2018 12:52

I have a client called Kathleen. She hates being called Kath but she gets called it by my other colleagues and they write ‘Kath’ in her notes.

BexleyRae · 17/07/2018 12:52

I don't mind people shortening my name, but only if I know them, otherwise it feels overly familiar

Storm4star · 17/07/2018 12:53

I have a similar name to the one you've described and hate the shortened version. I always introduce myself by the full version and if someone shortens it whether I say anything depends on the circumstances. So, if it was someone I'd never see again i probably wouldn't bother but if it was say a new colleague, or someone new to our friendship group then I would just nicely say I don't like being called the shortened version and people usually seem ok with that.

Original poster
SparkleSoiree · 17/07/2018 12:54

I may need to change my approach on how I clarify it then. It was a business introduction and it just felt minimising some how. redcarblue you mentioned disrespectful and it does feel like that.

OP posts:
user7469322 · 17/07/2018 12:54

And my real name, when shortened, becomes a mans name and yet my family still shorten it 🤷🏽‍♀️

Original poster
SparkleSoiree · 17/07/2018 12:55

It just seems a bit strange that you're having to ask someone to call you by the name you've introduced yourself as in the first place. Too much time on my hands I think today!

OP posts:
RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb · 17/07/2018 12:56

Yanbu. I always call people by the name they introduce themselves with. So, if you say “hi, I’m Elizabeth”, there’s no way I’d respond “hi Lizzy”.

That said, I introduce myself as my full name, but don’t mind any of the shortenings. I was just discussing it with dh the other day and I think I just don’t like my name very much. So I don’t care which version you call me!

WutheringFrights · 17/07/2018 13:00

I have the opposite problem - I have a short name and often get people lengthening it and calling me Katherine which I don’t respond to because it isn’t my name and I don’t realise they are talking to me! 😳

BrazzleDazzleDay · 17/07/2018 13:03

I have an unusual name, people always shorten it i think due to being unable to spell/announce it.

Though I do have a shortened family nickname im happy for friends to use, alot of people just refer to me as an initial though

BrazzleDazzleDay · 17/07/2018 13:04

*pronounce rather

redshoeblueshoe · 17/07/2018 13:07

wuthering Grin I was just about to say the same thing. My DD has a very short name and we lengthen it.
My name is very rarely altered, thank goodness, because I don't like the shortened version

Gromance02 · 17/07/2018 13:07

It doesn't bother me. I quite like it. I must admit that I do (silently) judge people that get sniffy about having their name abbreviated.

redshoeblueshoe · 17/07/2018 13:08

Sorry I forgot to say YANBU

loveka · 17/07/2018 13:09

30 years ago at University someone started to call me a short version of my name which I hate hate hate.

I didn't correct her...

She became my best friend, and I get this short name from her and people I know through her. I have never told them because, frankly, I would look a total dickhead now!

I have never referred to myself by this name, never signed this name. I kind of wonder why they haven't realised!

Fatted · 17/07/2018 13:11

I hate people being over familiar and using nicknames etc. I always call people by the names they introduce themselves as. I hate it when companies and businesses call me by my first name not by my title and last name. I think it's really unprofessional.

I got really annoyed with a Dr who kept shortening my son's name Thomas to Tommy. We do call him Tom, wouldn't have minded that but calling him Tommy just grated on me!

halfwitpicker · 17/07/2018 13:11

British people shorten names. Abroad they don't.

I have the reverse problem I. E Want to be called Sam but they call me Samantha instead.

Gard21 · 17/07/2018 13:14

When I was still living with parents etc. if any of my friends phoned and asked for me using a shortened version and my dad answered I haven't got a daughter by that name and then put the phone down. I know of only 2 people who shorten my name to my face and I always think they are talking to someone else.

BringOnTheScience · 17/07/2018 13:14

Politely correct them. Every time. It's very rude to presume to change someone's name.

My DCs both have names that could be shortened but they prefer their full names. DC1 refuses to answer if a supply teacher keeps on shortening their name after being asked not to.

Gromance Judging you right back!

MrsBlaidd · 17/07/2018 13:21

My name has a few diminutives but one really doesn't suit me at all. If someone presumes to call me the diminutive I'll laugh it off and say (for example) "No...I'm definitely not a Vicky, Victoria or Tori suit me far better"

I've found this works quite well and if they ignore that I simply don't respond to being called "Vicky" but will immediately respond to any other version of my name. That underlines that I'm really not Vicky so there's no point in using it.

I'd never presume to shorten someones name without permission so I do find it annoying when people do it to me.

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