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Original poster

Child’s father wants to charge me rent for temporary moving into his bought home

83 replies

TB2013 · 17/07/2018 01:37

So basically, me and my partner have been together for 10 years and have a 4 year old child together. During our relationship we’ve always had our own places. He owns his home and the mortgage is fully paid. I rent privately and he has always lived with me and our child and rarely uses his own home (usually when we’ve fell out haha) he never put anything towards my rent when he’s lived with me but he would throw a tenner here and there on gas and electric and put towards the shopping now and then. Recently I’ve been really struggling with my bills while working part time so I asked him if me and our child could move into his property temporarily so I can leave my home and work as much over time as possible for 8-12 weeks to save up a rent and deposit on a cheaper property and the very first thing he said was. Well you can’t live in there for free you know. Now don’t get me wrong I would make sure there’s always gas and light in there and I’d always fill the fridge and cupboards but the fact he wants actual money off us I’m actually in shock considering all the years he’s lived with me rent free. Bare in mind also that his mortgage is fully paid off and all he has to pay is council tax which still I would be happy to contribute to but I fell like he’s sort of demanded it. I also feel like he’s not even bothered that I’m struggling. I tell him all the time and still he does nothing about it. What can I do guys? I really feel like this is going to be the straw that breaks the camels back I really do feel like I’m in shock I just can’t believe it.

OP posts:
Starlight345 · 17/07/2018 07:22

You will find yourself much better financially if you kick him to the kerb

byanyothernamerose · 17/07/2018 07:24

Leave him...you will get more money to support your child through child maintenance if he wasn't there. You also wouldn't have to pay for his share of groceries etc!! I'm really shocked by his behaviour to be honest....that's no way to treat your family...

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 17/07/2018 07:25

Lots of separate issues. It sounds like he has maintained his own place and just paid you a token gesture. Either he's really tight, doesn't want to give up the security of his own place or you are claiming to be single and he can't be connected to your benefits or you would be in trouble.

Working PT is a luxury, if it doesn't meet the bills then you need to up your hours or find a second job.

LaMainDeFatima · 17/07/2018 07:26

What a selfish cock. You’d be better off on your own

Does he actually work? How has he managed to pay for the house? It sounds like money is the one thing he can control, sees you in a vulnerable place and so is doing it.

If you were single would you be any worse off financially?

SmileSweetly · 17/07/2018 07:27

Start charging him rent?

zzzzz · 17/07/2018 07:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clutterbugsmum · 17/07/2018 07:28

I'd do 3 things.

  1. Give him a invoice for 10 years rent at a minimum of £20 per week.
  1. Go to the Child Maintenance Service and get maintenance from him, you are entitled to 12% of his gross salary.
  1. Ask family and friends you can stay with in the short term.

And possible

  1. Get out of this one sided relationship as he clearly doesn't see you are a partner. You are just some one who will cook, clean for him.

And when you do rent another property DO NOT allow him to stay there for nothing, he pays his way like an adult.

ConciseandNice · 17/07/2018 07:29

I’ve very rarely suggested anyone LTB, but this is absolutely appalling. He sounds like he has narcissistic personality disorder...or he’s just a good old plain shithead. I can’t honestly believe you’ve been with this fucker for 10 years.

CantankerousCamel · 17/07/2018 07:34

This is not a workable situation. How the hell have you made a life with a man who thinks so little of you?

Go and see a lawyer

MoonsAndJunes · 17/07/2018 07:34

Does he rent out his house currently?
Is this his sole income or does he work?

If he rents out his house and uses the money as income, he won't want you there rent free.
He's a freeloader. He contributes nothing and takes everything.
Get rid of him.

itchyknees · 17/07/2018 07:36

What’s this man’s purpose???

crimsonlake · 17/07/2018 07:39

Why have you put up with this in the first place and why did you let it go on?

Tinkofhousepan · 17/07/2018 07:46

The gif says it all. Ltb

Child’s father wants to charge me rent for temporary moving into his bought home
OnThisHill · 17/07/2018 07:52

Mummyof is correct, there is no such thing ss common law. The only watertight contract between a man and a woman (in this case) is marriage.
Solicitor, CAB, DWP, ring them today.
Ask if you can increase your hours, benefits notwithstanding.
LTB.
Sorry OP.

mishfish · 17/07/2018 07:52

He sounds so much like my son’s father it’s scary. Leave him OP and go straight to the CMS for maintenance. He’s managed to pay off a mortgage because you’ve been subsidising him. If he tries to convince you to come to a private arrangement don’t fall for it, my ex did after our case moved on from CSA and he had never submitted updated salary information to them, he rounded the maintenance up from £189.90 a month to £190 as a (in his own words) “guesture of goodwill” and when I went to the CMS they assess him as needing to pay £388 per month (which he won’t so they’ve now moved on to collect and pay)

Tight fisted partners are awful. He’s vile.

Returnofthesmileybar · 17/07/2018 07:53

Cocklodging freeloading tight wad fucker. Your only struggling financially because you've been paying for this leech, you'll be fine without him

9amTrain · 17/07/2018 07:53

He lived at yours rent free even though you had to pay rent, he has no mortgage and still wants to charge you rent?

LTB.

9amTrain · 17/07/2018 07:56

It doesn't sound like he is renting his house out as OP says he uses it when they've fallen out for example.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 17/07/2018 07:59

Why have you let him leech off you all these years? He is a parasite and cocklodger. What worries me is that you value yourself and your child so little that you have let yourself be financially abused all these years and stay with a man who doesn't want to financially support his own child. He should be sterilised so that he doesn't re-produce any more children since he clearly doesn't think he should be paying anything for their keep. LTB, claim child support and any other benefits you are entitled to as a single mother and please work on your self esteem so you are not taken advantage of by the next male in your life.

TheHobbitMum · 17/07/2018 08:00

Wow what a dick he is! You'd be so much better off if you separate and not just financially. No wonder hes paid off his mortgage, you've been paying for him for 10 years!

BrexitWife · 17/07/2018 08:01

Keep your flat.
Charge him For the rent, electricity, food etc

I suspeck this will mean he will run away though and want to split.
Which is good because you could demand CM instead.

All in all you would be better off.

Brown76 · 17/07/2018 08:05

Why have you never lived at his home with your child? Is his house sitting empty? Instead of moving in, could you ask him to give you the deposit for the cheaper property (in exchange for sponging off you for the last ten years).

PuntasticUsername · 17/07/2018 08:06

Yeah like everyone says, he sounds like a bit of a twat...

And please don't put it all down to how he was brought up. That's just making excuses for him. He's an adult, he's responsible for his own behaviour. It sounds as if he's done very nicely in life, by looking after number one.

ciderhouserules · 17/07/2018 08:12

Hmm, so he has a mortgage-free house but lives at yours rent free.

You have a place but pay rent, which he doesn't contribute anything to? And you are wondering why you are struggling to pay the bills?

I'm frankly astonished that the answer hasn't occurred to you.

Chocolate1984 · 17/07/2018 08:29

Why aren’t you all staying in the mortgage free house anyway?

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