to fucking hate what technology does to relationships?

[CouldGoMad]

I'm 5.5 months pregnant to a man who is addicted to PlayStation, and his mobile phone. Thursday Friday and Saturday he was up until early hours on his PlayStation. I got up early to get his DD ready on Friday morning whilst he slept (I didn't even know he was starting work late), I was up with his DD 1.5 hours before he was on Saturday, and 2 hours before he was on Sunday.

I'm tired. I would love to sleep in. This is a recent habit he's gotten in to in the past 3/4 months after he came off night shifts and it's like all else (housework, shopping, ME) doesn't exist.

I'm preparing myself to talk to him about it as I'm so tired today that I can't be bothered so will do tomorrow. I'm terrified of what it will be like with a baby and an confused as to how someone's habits can change so drastically so fast. 6 months ago he only played occasionally.

AIBU to think that gaming addiction is a thing? I'm more than happy for him to game. I'm not happy to be left to get up early with his DD every morning whilst he sleeps for 2 hours when I'm 5.5 months pregnant, in pain, and could really use the sleep.

As you can tell I am extremely angry, I am venting and hoping someone can offer some constructive advice. Deep down I wish this had happened before I got pregnant.

This 8sn5 a technology issue, it’s an arsehole issue. Without PlayStation he’d find other excuses to be useless.

Today he got home from the gym at half 7 and is still looking at his phone. He was looking at it when I was cleaning around him. When he was cooking. When he was eating. He hasn't even asked how my day was or even so much as looked at me.

Isn’t. Not that weird thing I wrote.

cardi I knew what you meant don't worry

Could you aren5 listening. Technology is simply a vehicle for his arseholery.

Kick his arse to brining him back in this world.

Well stop getting up with his DD for one thing. Wake his arse up! You need to sort this before baby comes or you'll be left resenting each other. Hobbies are great, but not when they get in the way of family life. You need to find middle ground.

jasey I tried to get him up. I can't drag him out of bed but I really did try and he told me to let her play. You can't let a 6 year old play by herself for 2 hours in the morning poor thing.

Nightshifts are very hard to bounce back from, took me about three years after finishing my permanently nightshift job to regulate into a normal sleep pattern again.

That being said: if he is struggling to sleep until the early hours he could be doing a bit of housework or cleaning/organising to allow you to rest during the day.

Second pp though - he sounds like an ass and you must kick him into gear before baby gets here and you are all consumed.

C4 he's been on days for about 4 months now. I think that's probably been enough time! I do nights and find it takes about 2/3 weeks before I feel totally normal on days again.

He's definitely an arse!

I'm in two minds on this.

Gaming is definitely addictive and I've experienced it myself, especially online games which have a levelling up aspect or involve team play with regular online friends.

However, I used to have a bf whobwoyld moan that I'd 'wasted x hours' on the Xbox but only moaned about this because he thought it was a waste of time - never complained once he managed to get meboff the Xbox and into the pub.

He’s an arse - and you are letting him be one - start reading him the riot act now as he’ll be a nightmare when you have the baby

If I haven't left him by then

Tbf you can let a 6 year old play for 2 hours (especially If they get up very early)
Just stay in bed. My 6 year old can get up and make herself some cereal if it’s silly o’clock in the morning.

*to fucking hate what inconsiderate arseholes do to relationships

Fixed.

I agree. I felt like I should be citing his mobile as the OW in our divorce. He saw so much (made up and stylised) fun on social media that out normal little lives seemed very mundane.

Keep it simple. Say 'You need to start getting up with DD again tomorrow. I need my sleep'. And make him do it. Don't let him pretend to be asleep or ignore her.

tendto I'm sure you can but when you have them for 4 mornings out of every month you'd think he'd want to make her breakfast and spend his s morning with her. She has commented on how much he uses his phone too and she's only 6.

I agree, a six year old will be fine to play alone. Stop getting up with her.

The point is though that her dad should want to spend time with her. Is he playing a particular game all the time op? I think you definitely need to talk to him about it because once you have the baby then he's going to need to step up

Just to clarify also she had already been playing for over an hour by herself. I get up at about 7:45, he gets up at about 10. He then spends the next hour or so having his breakfast/showering/on his phone. I'm not trying to make it sound worse than it is but I really think he has a problem.

DH can get so into a game that he doesn't realise much time he's spending on it. I will treat it like an out of house hobby and ask him when he's planning on gaming and when he'll.be free again. I also make sure I.get time for my interests too. Also important to know whether it's a "do not disturb" moment or just grinding -children can come and go.

shox yes and I want to burn it!!! I'm going to talk to him tomorrow but he won't listen. I know it.

jenny he does it when we are all in bed then ends up coming to bed at 3am every night.

Nothing to do with technology and everything to do with him being a useless parent and partner.