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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

One year old milk and nap

69 replies

GeeGee12 · 16/07/2018 21:01

My health visitor today told me that I was a bad Mum for still letting my one year old have two naps a day. I bottle feed my baby 2x7oz of formula and sit in a rocking chair with her and feed and rock until she goes to sleep. Then I put her in her pram asleep for her nap. I repeat the same process for bedtime expect instead of her pram she goes into my bed, she sleeps with me. She only became one this week and I’m choosing to go onto growing up milk for bed time and cows milk for day naps. I’m happy with our routine and I think when my daughter isn’t she will let me know. The health visitor told me that I was hindering her development. I’m just wondering if anyone has a similar experience with their baby? Or any advice? Thank you

OP posts:

Ceecee18 · 16/07/2018 21:15

DD is one next week. She still has two naps a day and doesn't look to be dropping that anytime soon, my health visitor didn't say anything about it. She also has been having her naps in her pram, being rocked, until she refused and went in her cot for the first time today. And she's still on 3 8oz bottles a day, which I think she will be for another couple of months. Ignore your health visitor and do what works for you and your DD.

NapQueen · 16/07/2018 21:16

2 naps a day is fine for a 12mo.

As long as the rocking to sleep and bedsharing works for you then who cares. Wouldnt and didnt for me but neither method is correct/incorrect.

Original poster

GeeGee12 · 16/07/2018 21:18

Thank you. I don’t want to hinder her development but also it works for us so until today I didn’t see a problem! Thank you x

OP posts:

Namechangemum100 · 16/07/2018 21:20

Dd didn't drop to one nap a day until she was around 15 months. If she is sleeping well at night there is absolutely no reason to stop her having two naps...trust me, when she is ready for one she will let you know.

Dd who is now 17 months still has milk before her 1 nap in the afternoon and before bed. I have no desire to stop it as it works for us.

If it's working for you and you are all happy then there isn't a problem, your hv is talking nonsense.

SlackerMum1 · 16/07/2018 21:24

Meh up to your little one. What’s average is just a guide to help understand what might be going on. DD dropped to one nap at 12 months but tbh was probably ready before that. But DN kept his second nap till nearly 2. Almost like babies are individuals and some need more sleep than others 🤔

Bambamber · 16/07/2018 21:27

My 15 month old still has 2 naps a day an generally sleeps through the night the majority of the time. She is breastfed about 4 or 5 times a day and she normally settles down to sleep while being fed. My DD is under the care of a paedeatrician who knows her routine and is perfectly happy with it. I think your HV is chatting shit

champagneplanet · 16/07/2018 21:27

If your baby is happy and you are happy with that then you are doing nothing wrong IMO.

JagerPlease · 16/07/2018 21:29

DS dropped his second nap well after 12 months, and only ever fell asleep on me or in the pram/car. He's now almost 2 and still has one nap, but still rarely falls asleep of his own accord. I would say your routine is perfectly normal!

likeacrow · 16/07/2018 21:29

I thought 18 months was the general average for dropping to one nap tbh. DD is almost 16 months and has v recently dropped to one.

You're a caring, loving mother. Your HV doesn't sound great. Don't worry about it.

WonderTweek · 16/07/2018 21:33

Bit of a weird HV. Ours have always told us to listen to the baby and that they will drop feeds and naps when they’re ready. Mine is 18 months and has two naps a day and 2 6oz bottles of cow’s milk and I’m just observing how things are going. If it works for you, it works for you.

jaseyraex · 16/07/2018 21:36

If it works for you then crack on. You're still happy to be rocking to sleep etc so its irrelevant what anyone else thinks, including the HV.
My DS dropped to one nap when he was about 18 months. He's 3 now and still has a 2 hour nap in the afternoon and sleeps soundly all night. He likes his sleep. They're all different.

JennyBlueWren · 16/07/2018 21:37

Are there any concerns about aspects of her development?
The only thing I can see linked to what you said is if she only drank from a bottle and didn't use a cup but I imagine she does at other times.

At that age DS had 2 naps (can't remember when he dropped to 1) and took a bottle. If anything he's advanced for his age! I find when he's been busy either mentally or physically he still has a nap and he's 3 1/2!

PenApple · 16/07/2018 21:42

Mine is 1 next week, 9/10 times has 2 naps. On the rare occasion he has 1 then he’s wanting bed at 5pm 🤔

He has morning bottle, mid morning bottle and evening bottle.

He doesn’t co-sleep or rock to sleep but I can’t see what that has to with hindering development in a baby. Always amazes me how advice can vary dramatically from HV to HV.

Sparrowlegs248 · 16/07/2018 21:43

Bizarre ideas from your HV. 2 naps a day is to be expected at 1. If you and she are happy with the rocking situation then there's no problem with it. I bf and co slept with my first and had no end of "advice" and generally shitty comments about him never stopping bf and never sleeping alone. He slept through in his own cot by 15 months and self weaned at 19. (months, not years.......)

seven201 · 16/07/2018 21:50

Sounds good to me. Ignore your hv.

Itoldyouiwasgeeky · 16/07/2018 21:54

Always take HV advice with a pinch of salt. You are responding to your baby’s needs and you are not doing anything wrong.

LurkingQuietly · 16/07/2018 22:12

Oh god, ignore the HV. If your DC needs two naps, let them have 2 naps! Honestly, every HV I've ever met has the weirdest, skewed views on something. You know your baby.

Just curious though - do you mean your DC takes 2 7oz bottles before each nap? Or one 7oz bottle before each nap? I'm very, very sleep deprived and I'm amazed a one year old can take 14oz of fluid in one go!!

Original poster

GeeGee12 · 16/07/2018 22:22

She uses her sippy cup ( it’s one of those ones with the straw) for water and I put cows milk in it for the first time today and it didn’t bother her. She’s been able to use it for months. I use her bottles for naps and bedtime. Development wise there isn’t anything wrong with her, I think she’s doing well. The HV said I needed to use her sippy cup all the time now, no bottles.

OP posts:

Original poster

GeeGee12 · 16/07/2018 22:25

She has a 7oz bottle while I rock her to sleep at her morning and afternoon nap. Then in the evening I repeat but with a 9oz bottle and then put her in my bed. Haha I think she’d drain a 14oz in one go if I let her

OP posts:

toomuchtooold · 16/07/2018 22:40

2 naps a day is totally appropriate for a 12m old, and IMO bottles are fine too as long as other drinks are in a free flowing sippy cup - they need to learn how to control the flow with their tongues, helps with speech I think.

The only issue with feeding to sleep potentially is that your LO could be forming an association between sleep and feeding. But if so you'd be up every 90 minutes or so with her wanting another bottle...

Just nod and smile at the HV. It's an essential skill of motherhood, being able to graciously accept advice while having no intention whatsoever to follow it

DieAntword · 16/07/2018 22:42

My son just turned 2 and I can’t remeber when we dropped to one nap but he had milk in bottles before sleep right up to a few weeks ago (and I only stopped because I’m planning to attempt night training soon and wanted him to be out of the habit of having a large quantity of liquid just before bed for that).

FrozenMargarita17 · 16/07/2018 22:50

My lo is one tomorrow and she has two naps. If she doesn't have these the day is hellish!

Faster · 16/07/2018 22:55

Meh I’d being ignoring to be fair. My DS is 12mo and regular has three naps a day. Mid morning, after lunch and mid afternoon. Cos that’s what he needs. He shows he is tired so I let him sleep. What else is there that can be done?

Seasawride · 16/07/2018 23:01

Are you absolutely sure you dealt with a qualified HV.

If so please can you report her as she’s either not qualified and pretending or she’s mentally ill.

I had 6 kids and have one dgs snd was a nursing sister and your situation is completely normal.

Can you report her ASAP tomorrow and let us know how it goes please op. HCP do need basic knowledge and if this happened as you say it did she’s dangerous.

Did she actually call you a bad mother wow just wow

Bringonspring · 16/07/2018 23:02

My DD is one next week and I’ve just consolidated her nap to one, just find it easier to have her sleep for 2 hours than 2 * 1 hours because I have a DS who sleeps also at lunch time

I’m curious on the milk though. I’m about Ming to stop BFvin a week time and whilst my DD drinks milk in a silly cup there is no way she drinks 14 oz. I don’t really want to put her on a bottle. Potentially I’ll have to load her with milk alternatives like yogurt. Anyone else with this issue?

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