One year old milk and nap

[GeeGee12]

My health visitor today told me that I was a bad Mum for still letting my one year old have two naps a day. I bottle feed my baby 2x7oz of formula and sit in a rocking chair with her and feed and rock until she goes to sleep. Then I put her in her pram asleep for her nap. I repeat the same process for bedtime expect instead of her pram she goes into my bed, she sleeps with me. She only became one this week and I’m choosing to go onto growing up milk for bed time and cows milk for day naps. I’m happy with our routine and I think when my daughter isn’t she will let me know. The health visitor told me that I was hindering her development. I’m just wondering if anyone has a similar experience with their baby? Or any advice? Thank you

Strong not wrong

Your HV absolutely should not have said what she did in that way. Implying you are a bad mother, even though your child is well cared for is awful! Definitely report her.

The nap advice is odd, as most 12m olds still take 2 naps, but the rest of her advice is standard, although delivered badly. The current advice is to wean off bottles and formula by 12m, and rocking your baby to sleep would potentially lead to sleep issues where your child is unable to self soothe and so would need you to rock them and give them a bottle every time they woke up.

Btw - not saying above that you should stop doing what you’re doing if it works for you and your child, just that your HV will be required to give that advice. Clearly she needs to work on her delivery though!

@BadMoodBetty 👍 Thanks!

@caterina99 my husband said the same, she will tell every parent that she sees the same thing (hopefully in a different way) I do understand the self soothing thing, we’ve been very fortunate and she doesn’t wake during the night. I don’t actually know how to get her to sleep without rocking? I mean, I’m perfectly happy to do it, but if any one has advice on how to stop and try something else I’d appreciate it?! The weaning... I’m trying so hard to get her into cows milk and she just isn’t happy. I’m using growing up milk at the moment for bed time so she’s still getting the nutrients she needs. It’s so hard, I had a plan and the H.V has just completely thrown me

For the milk there are few different methods. What I did was cut out one bottle at a time and replace it with a snack and some cows milk in a cup. After a month we were just left with the bedtime bottle. I mixed that half milk half formula etc until it was all milk as he refused to drink cows milk from the bottle (even though he had it in a cup). We kept that for a few months as it was convenient at the time, but at about 15m we swapped it for a cup of milk. I plan to do similar with DD who is 9 months, but of course she might have different ideas. I’ve had friends just swap straight to cows milk in the bottles though and then drop the bottles more slowly. Or just go cold turkey no bottles one day. Presumably they all did what worked best for them.

If your baby doesn’t wake at night then sounds like she is able to self soothe herself and you have no problems here. If you want to stop rocking then maybe just rock her a bit less every time. Or rock her until she looks sleepy and then put her down in her cot awake and hopefully she’ll drop off?

You could try to sort of wean her off being rocked to sleep OP, like by putting her down in her cot sleepy and stroking her/patting her bum for a while. This sometimes works for my DD, sometimes she's rocked to sleep, other times she doesn't need either and other times she's that knackered she's asleep before she's put in the cot. Vast majority of the time there's a little bit of rocking then some bum patting til she's almost asleep. She sleeps through and will self soothe if she wakes momentarily in the night (unless she's dropped her beloved 'Lamby' comforter... 🙈)

I did gradual withdrawal for independent sleep. Bedtime routi e in place, (We did bath, pjs, story, bf to sleep which changed to milk in sippy into cot with mobile on) into cot awake and stay with them til asleep. Mine had never fallen asleep on his own. I sang, patted, whatever til he slept. No tears as I was right there. The gradually (I did it really gradually) do less and less. So I stopped the patting, then the singing, then just sat next to the cot, then a foot away etc till I got to the stage of putting him in, turning the mobile on and leaving the room . I took 2 months over it, many people take less. But it worked for us . He was 13 months when I started.

Nottalotta-thank you I will try that

I did a very similar thing to notalotta. I would snuggle til half asleep, then plop in the cot and stroke his tummy.

My son nearly 14 months old usually has two naps a day and has 2x 6oz a day!

@rosemarylemonxx 2x 6oz of cows milk or formula?

I'm weaning him off of his lactose free formula so he has 2 oz of that in each bottle and the rest soya growing up milk

How is napping supposed to hinder their development

Dc3 one this week, health visitor advised us to start settling her awake now as she still feeds to sleep. She also advised to reduce her milk consumption as she still has 4 x 210 ml bottles throughout the day and plenty of food. Dc3 is on the 25th centile and petite so will follow her lead as she screams the house down if we try the above. Followed the rules with dc1 and it wasn't great. Go with what feels right op.

I'm not a parent but did early childhood in uni. With all respect, ignore the HV. If she has milk for naps and bed then that's comfort and nothing wrong with that. During the day maybe encourage a beaker but at night it's a comfort thing. We all need comfort even as adults, for some it's a book, others it's a long bath, others a mug of hot milk.

As long as you're happy and you're baby's happy then it's fine. She's one, she's still young. No need to change things unless you want to.

Wth? Mine had two naps until 15-17 months old. And had one daily nap until around 3 years old. They still have one occasionally. If it suits your child, ignore, it's not like you are doing any harm!

Oh and my 3yo still have 2 x 8oz of milk alongside all his meals. We plan to wean him but waiting until other big changes are established

I'm appalled by what the HV said to you. Your routine with your baby is perfectly normal.