A question for those who think playing with toy guns is okay?

[politicalcorrectnessisgreat]

Would you also approve of your child playing pretend drug taking? Or pretend rape?

I am not okay with my two DSs playing with guns. I asked my friend if she would be okay with her little boy pretending to inject heroine or snort cocaine and she said that of course she wouldn't.

I just don't get why people think it's okay to allow their child to pretend to kill someone but are utterly disgusted at this.

Anyone care to explain?

Actually I can explain (although I think you are being extreme). I was uncomfortable with it too - I spoke to the head of the nursery about it and she explained its a phase children go through. She said if you don't make a big deal about it they get bored and move on. If you make a big deal out of it they become obsessed. And this did happen - my son stopped doing it within six months to a year - my sister, however, banned her son from guns and he came obsessed.

ittakes That's been our approach too. We just let DS have as many guns as he wanted, and as a result, he doesn't see them as special or exciting. He likes having them, but I can't remember the last time he played with them.

Are you a vegetarian, OP? Are your children? If they eat meat, will you be telling them the cow strolled into Tesco’s and laid down and just went to sleep? What about the police? And the army? Will you be teaching your children they are murderers too?

I want my DS to grow up with common sense and to know that guns can be very dangerous and that’s why it’s important they are used properly by people who know how. I am not going to go through a huge song and dance about banning them like you are, because all you Are doing by forbidding them is making them SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING to your DC.

When I was a little girl I had a fantastic, bright green toy Uzi. It even made noises when I fired it... I’m now a nurse, and as far as I know haven’t ever fired a real gun, been involved in an armed raid or murdered anyone

I have never allowed my kids to have toy guns or toy soldiers for that matter. Its a choice my husband and I made. I didn't forbid them from playing with toy guns, I simply didn't make them available to my kids
I respectfully accept other parents choices relating to the matter even if I disagree.
But I certainly wouldn't equates toy guns with rape.

I was a pacifist feminist no guns no barbies mum. Daughter still not really forgiven me. Son, then aged 6, trekked in from next door with a large toy tank/armoured car stuffed full of assorted Action Man toys bristling with camouflage and assorted armoury. He had enterprisingly swapped his wholesome assortment of lovely wooden educational toys YAWN for it. Hmm. I gave in.

She is raising a discussion on a forum

By comparing kids playing with toy guns to kids playing pretend rape?

I thought this was going to be a decent discussion too, but it wasn’t to be.

Oh my God.

I would actually prefer that young children weren't exposed to violent images so the idea of playing shooting and killing each other wouldn't occur to them (although they'd still probably want to engage in some rough play). That said they are exposed to it and it's natural that they want to mimic what they've seen. I'm glad that my DC have never been exposed to images of rape or drug taking. If they had been they would want to play it out too. It's their way of trying to make sense of what they've seen.

would you let your child play with a sword and shield?What about making a catapult ( something they might even be asked to do in school as part of a project)?

The fact is the guns they play with are normally part of pretend play like police or cowboys or armies or pretending they are a superhero/villain/stormtrooper. They are never ( I hope) pretending to be a "murderer" in the real sense of the word.

I dont like them that much but I dont ban them because I dont think they are sctually doing my children any harm.

I'm confused about something along these lines.. so I'll ask it here.

Why do we credit our children with so little intelligence that we fear 'Bad' things will influence then more than 'Good' things?

Little Johnny plays with may toys, Blocks, Lego, stuffed animals, guns, cars, video games.
Yet people think that the smaller percentage of time on 'bad' will somehow eradicate and influence them more than the larger amount of time on 'good'?

Surely it's like food? There is no 'bad' food, just bad portions.
A child exposed to a wide variety of play will have a more rounded and balanced attitude than those who are forbidden aspects?

That probably makes no sense.. but I know what I mean. Lol

A friend of mine banned toy guns of any type in her house. Her DS who was four, used to nibble his toast into a gun shape and pretend to shoot her......

My DC had a play doctor's set, which included a syringe. So yes, I think drug taking paraphernalia is OK in play. Because context is all.

I allowed pirate books and dress up, and Star Wars, and Harry Potter, and water pistols, and bows and arrows etc. And read fairy tales and sang nursery rhymes even when they had violent, abusive or gory bits

Better to learn how to contextualise this stuff from before you can remember, rather than having it all new when older and more subject to peer influence and pressure, and less under parental supervision.

Yes absolutely fine my younger 2 turn all sorts into toy guns and I have no issue with it at all

Good point made upthread than when kids run around firing guns at each other they’re not imagine Olympic shooting as a sport.

I dunno. Never had toy guns as a child, but DH did and he’s a gentle soul. But then we would have had lots of things in the 70s that would be rightly frowned on now, so that doesn’t really mean much.

I live in an area where gun and knife crime are a reality, not something you see on the TV (shooting at the end of my road when DD was little). So I do see where the OP is coming from.

I hate this, ‘oh, it’s inevitable’. Inevitable that humans resort to their basest instincts to destroy? Probably, yes. I don’t have to encourage, like or celebrate that, though.

I do love the school holidays!

Zombie thread! OP had a huff and left when people disagreed

Lol. You won't be able to stop your kids when they are at school. The majority of kids don't grow up and and shoot / kill people you know, whether they played with toy guns or not.

"Would you also approve of your child playing pretend drug taking? Or pretend rape?"

Play is how children process events and make sense of the world. If my child had witnessed drug taking then of course it would be appropriate that he process that experience through play.
"pretend rape" would be different. That's inappropriate sexual behaviour towards another child and something that would need professional intervention to correct. That intervention might well involve play therapy in a safe environment.

Thankfully my kids have not seen someone shot irl but our culture is saturated in violent images so naturally children have a healthy need to explore that in play.

I don’t let my son play with toy guns but when he’s 14 I know his dad will want to take him clay pidgeon shooting which is fine as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t hurt anything and it’ll be a good bonding time for them.

I dont like the idea of him brandishing a toy hand gun at his sisters, it seems aggressive and unnecessary.

just because they are playing with a toy gun doesnt mean they will go on to kill someone
Banning a toy gun will only make it that much more exciting
My son has had a million nerf guns and my husband and him have had many a school holiday wasting time having huge gun battles and setting up ambushes all over the house, they have had so much fun and more importantly spent quality time together!
My step father often brings his air pistol and air rifle when he comes to the farm to stay and we set up paper targets and the kids and him have target practice, while doing something a bit exciting they are also learning safe gun handling skills and how to use a gun appropriately, so learning how to be safe and taking the mystery out of it,
The teenagers have used a real rifle .22 so not a big one , again with paper targets and hay bales and to be honest they were excited the first couple of times they went out but now its no big thing and they can take it or leave it, no desires to go out and shoot anyone or even play with a gun , Its been shown and presented as a tool on the farm and yes they have seen actual animals being put to sleep so they know the real realities of what a gun does.
My teen daughter loves to use a bow and arrow, on a target at a proper venue, and she is good at it, but again she had been doing it from a young age for fun and now has no interest in it and isn't racing off to kill people like shes in the hunger games.
Its all how you teach them, yes they watch movies and tv, but as long as you show them properly and teach safety you really dont have to fear seeing one they they will race off to MURDER DEATH KILL!

This is clearly just posted to create a bun fight but heck, I'll add my experience, I grew up with a huge collection of cap guns. My father shoots pheasant and I was an American 80's kid. I desperately wanted to be Colt Seavers, or Eric Estrada in CHiPs and rode around on my bike shooting after imaginary cars.
Back in the U.K. as a teen I shot air rifles with my friends in the garden of a lovely elderly man who enjoyed passing on his skill to youngsters. He shot for sport and so did we. Our objective was to hit the target, not go out and shoot people.
Both of my boys played with guns and both of my girls have had at least one toy gun.
My adult sons and I all abhor gun violence and think the Americans refusal to control gun ownership is ludicrous and dangerous.
None of us contributed to the problems society has with guns. Gun sport doesn't contribute to gun violence. Gun use on farms and estates does not contribute to gun violence.
Billions of men live on this planet, they have penises. They are not contributing to rape culture just by having a penis.
To rape you need an evil intent to overpower someone and to shoot to kill you need an evil intent to hurt or kill someone.

oh yes and like the poster above, clay pigeon shooting, one of the forest based activity places does that and we got a few vouchers and the husband and kids went, had a lot of fun, the guns were loud. surprised the clay discs were plastic not clay, but again it was something for fun and it hasn't given them murderous urges

Well my DC don't see these other things. A child's play reflects the world in which they live. My DC see people they know well shooting clays. They eat some birds that have been shot by people they know.

I have taught children who 'played' at taking drugs, drugs dealers assaulting their mum, police arresting dad, etc. It's a child's way of processing their experiences.

I imagine many children today either play shooting games on a computer or see someone they know doing the same.

You cannot divorce your child from the culture in which they live.