A question for those who think playing with toy guns is okay?

[politicalcorrectnessisgreat]

Would you also approve of your child playing pretend drug taking? Or pretend rape?

I am not okay with my two DSs playing with guns. I asked my friend if she would be okay with her little boy pretending to inject heroine or snort cocaine and she said that of course she wouldn't.

I just don't get why people think it's okay to allow their child to pretend to kill someone but are utterly disgusted at this.

Anyone care to explain?

As kids we were not allowed guns.

Guess what we bought once we had pocket money?

Before that they were made out of lego.

I don’t let my kids have toy guns either. I won’t make a drugs or rape comparison but I just don’t like pretend violent play so won’t encourage it.
My kids also haven’t gone out and bought them with their pocket money.
Each to their own

Actually I kind of see where the OP is coming from. Essentially it’s about people getting enjoying from “pretend” killing someone else, whether it be with toy guns or video games, it’s kind of weird that you would want to.

However......

It’s so prevalent in toy / boy culture that denying it will lead to accusations of indoctrination as well as your kids desperate to play with guns anyway.

And having played with toy guns myself with my nephews (to see what the fuss is about) there is something weirdly fun about taking point and aiming at a target. And hugely satisfying when you get the target. Have you ever watched the archery scene in Brave. It’s amazing when she gets the bulls eye.

The pity is girls aren’t encouraged to hone those skills. Probably because it’s all tied up in pretend violence which is less part of the girl culture (for whatever reasons). But even pretend wars can have imaginative back stories.

But seriously pointing and shooting is great fun. Usually we use cans which takes the “killing people” element out of it.

But OP I don’t think you’re crazy

I feel sorry for her kids.

Super boring mum who doesn't get it.

Probably not allowed to play outside in case they hurt themselves (or have fun).

Sorry I meant to add about Sandy Hook and how parents in that community feel and toy guns.

I remember sending Christmas shoe box packets off to orphans of war in Eastern Europe and one of the rules was no toy guns. Because they would be too triggering ( sorry for unavoidable pun) of horrific events.

Interesting post OP. I do understand what you mean. Children with guns are pretending to kill and hurt. Giving them an outlet for something which is a criminal act like rape and drug abuse. My son has never had a gun. However he makes his dinosaurs fight each other and his superheroes. I never showed him how to do that. Hopefully enforcing the effects of fighting and why you shouldn't hurt things will give him a level of understanding that he will use in his life to learn good from bad and right from wrong.

Aw OP it sucks when you've thought of something to say that you think is SO clever and insightful but it turns out to just be stupid.

I feel sorry for her kids.

Super boring mum who doesn't get it.

That’s nasty and uncalled for. She is raising a discussion on a forum. You don’t know what she does with her kids or how they feel.

And would you say that to a parent from Dunblane, Sandy Hook, Columbine, etc?

Omg! Guns don’t kill, people do.

@politicalcorrectnessisgreat I agree with you. I find it chilling to the bone to see kids playing with "guns". Violence is so deeply ingrained in our society. Take Peter Pan for example, which I remembered with great fondness until I read it with my three year old daughter. It's just sword fighting and kidnapping on repeat. The purpose of a gun is to hurt or kill. Yes there are gun related sports, but they are not the main function of the weapon. I find it very disturbing.

”Aw OP it sucks when you've thought of something to say that you think is SO clever and insightful but it turns out to just be stupid.”

Mmm, whereas your response definitely adds value to the discussion...

”Omg! Guns don’t kill, people do.”

You sound like a gun-toting Republican NRA member saying something that disingenuous. If it’s the people that are the issue and guns are not a problem, presumably you’re in favour of gun laws in this country being relaxed?

I don't let my son or daughter buy toy weapons, and I don't buy them for them either.

I don't interfere when they are playing imaginative play with "weapons" but I keep an eye on it and will intervene if they are being overly aggressive with their language or bodies.

DS got a foam bullet fun for his 6th birthday from a school friend. I said he could have it as long as it was never aimed at a person.

He shot me in the face last week so it went in the bin. This is no different to him throwing Lego or a hot wheels at me, that would also go in the bin.

I do think we can give mixed messages that aggression is not tolerated but aggressive games are. There's a fine line between the two.

Yes it does. Thanks 😁

Your ds is only 2. Where will you draw the line with nerf guns/ light sabers/ pirate swords/ wands/ water pistols?! These are normal mainstream toys and it’s unlikely you’ll be able to avoid them.

How strange. My boy has nerf guns and an air rifle. We’ve reframed guns as something you hit targets with. I’ve never allowed playing at war - with guns or computer games - because killing people isn’t a game. But hitting targets is.

Sometimes, with a nerf, that target can be below my neck. He isn’t playing at killing me.

Also playmobil sets often have guns or swords. I think you’re overthinking it OP and comparing it playing ‘rape’ is quite strange imo.

I actually find toy soldiers and tanks more offensive than nerf guns, water pistols and air rifles.

I do find it difficult to understand people who seem completely unable to disagree with someone’s point of view without taunting them and making unpleasant comments. Some people on this thread have been pretty unpleasant to the OP for no apparent reason other than disagreeing with her.

I get it, @politicalcorrectnessisgreat.

When my eldest was little, I was really anti toy weapons. Swore we'd never have any. Especially as my nephew (who is a year older than my eldest and a big influence on him as they spend a lot of time together) went straight from having a toy box of rattles and teethers and singing fire engines to having a toy box of weapons (and nothing else) almost overnight when he was about 3 and a half. I found it chilling, but I didn't like to say anything because I thought my inlaws would react like so many of the posters on this thread.

But yeah, I don't really like seeing weapons as toys. My boys are now 6 & 4 and we have plenty of toy weapons (among plenty of non-weapon toys) most of which were bought by MiL. The games they play with weapons are stupid are usually involve ganging up on each other/trying to belittle each other, which is not how they tend to play otherwise.

I allow them to have toy weapons because banning them doesn't feel like a sensible or viable option.. and I just tell myself that the way they play with them is another part of their development. And I hope they can get over it while they're still little.

My kids had a toy doctor's case with a pretend hypodermic, so yes I suppose they were playing at injecting drugs.

There have been many studies into this and there are also interesting cultural comparisons such as those made in this article:

Rough or violent play is part of children processing their experiences and learning from them. It’s a natural part of being a human to protect our ‘tribe’ from the ‘baddies’ which is why superheros, cowboys, witches and wizards etc are all so popular in children’s books, films and TV (and adults’).

If it makes you uncomfortable, direct the shooting towards imaginary sabre tooth tigers or aliens rather than people. Aside from anything else, there is no evidence that a gun living toddler becomes a violent adult so banning it doesn’t actually achieve anything other than cause a conflict and prevent your children from role playing which is a developmental need.

Some children have regular blood tests at hospital or know someone who has regular injections eg diabetes. I wonder if people like the OP would see that as playing shooting up.

When armed police put those terrorists down at London Bridge and the Lee Rigby attack, and when the Nazis were defeated, that was all exactly the same as rape that was.

When people compete in the Olympics that's the same as rape, too.

No sorry, there is legitimate sport, there is even a need to have the ability to fight and it is perfectly natural for kids to have this as part of their play the same as any other facet of human life. A society that brings up its DCs as quivering jellies doesn't do them any favours.

But 2 children running around laughing shooting nerf guns at each other who are both consenting to the game is nothing like someone being threatened or shot with a real gun. It wouldn’t be fun if they were hurting each other. Kids know the difference between a consensual game and an act of violence.