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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s taken me 8 hours is my partner being unreasonable

85 replies

Paddington23 · 15/07/2018 21:07

It’s taken me 8 hours to build an Ikea dressing table one bedside chest of drawers it’s only a small one and tidy out a my wardrobe/ cupboard. I’ve also unpacked all my make up and products putting all my make up into the draw pots and containers I have. Is this way to long to do it in I can’t believe it’s already 9. I’m fucking hot sweaty and exhausted. Only had a few 5 mins breaks two for a snack one 5 min lay down for my back and a few wee breaks. Partners thinks I’ve taken so long to do so little.

OP posts:
NapQueen · 15/07/2018 21:37

Take as long as you need. Does he have a justifiable reason why it would need doing in less time?
I only became swift at IKEA building when I treated myself to an electric screwdriver.

OneEpisode · 15/07/2018 21:37

Alternatively you can add some extra parts that are bigger or smaller thank the others to the package. There are usually some available to help yourself to near customer service in an IKEA...

NotTakenUsername · 15/07/2018 21:41

I love OneEpisode‘s idea. And to save hastoe just slip in your extra screws to his pile once he gets started.

If he’s like me he’ll count and check everything first, so it will do his head in if there is anything left! 🤫😆

(Probably best to confess after a period otherwise it’s a bit crazymaking and mean.)

NotTakenUsername · 15/07/2018 21:41

Hastoe = hastle

Ginkypig · 15/07/2018 21:43

Did you taking this long affect him in any way or give him extra responsibility that should have been share?

If not then what's the fucking problem! Who cares how long it took!

AcrossthePond55 · 15/07/2018 21:44

He had a migraine? When my DH has migraine he's very ill indeed and has trouble with his vision. I wouldn't expect him to help me build furniture then. I'd either do it myself or wait until he felt better if I felt it was beyond me.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 15/07/2018 21:44

Have to be honest, if I had a migraine so bad I was vomiting and DH spent 8 hours banging around making stuff and then putting things away, I might have been a bit annoyed with him. Although depends how loud he was being and how close to where I was he was.

dudsville · 15/07/2018 21:48

I would just assume you were being thorough. When I put furniture together I always get this wrong and then have to go back and fix it and then in the end it's a little wobbly. Thorough is better also when it comes to organising stuff. There's no need to comment on the time it took.

Original poster
Paddington23 · 15/07/2018 21:49

He wanted me to build these and carry on unpacking house is full off boxes and it’s a struggle to move around. I was making a bit of noise but he was watching me at the time having a conversation with cold pack on his head.

OP posts:
Dodie66 · 15/07/2018 21:49

Time him and see how long it takes

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 15/07/2018 21:51

Ah in that case screw him!!

When he is building his stand there with a stop watch then just keep looking at the watch and then him, maybe shake your head a little bit and sigh. (but only after removing a tiny but vital piece as per pp)

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 15/07/2018 21:52

Well you were working all day so if that's how long it took that's how long it took. Unless you being a skilled handyman was a prerequisite for stating a relationship with you your partner should just suck it up and shut up.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/07/2018 21:52

Was he joking with you?

Seems like a kind of nasty thing to say to someone who’s been spending their weekend doing DIY. Why does it even matter if it had taken longer than it needed to? It’s your own time. Why would he criticize how you chose to spend it?

If he was serious and not just being clumsy at teasing I would be very annoyed at this.

NotTakenUsername · 15/07/2018 21:54

Ah so he’s pissy that you didn’t get more unpacking done so his migraine day didn’t get him out of as much work as he’d hoped! Grin Rumbled!

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/07/2018 22:01

For future reference, see if you can access the US website. All the instructions are on there, and our instructions are all pictures; no words

Ikea UK are the same - all pictures. I have lots of experience of building Ikea furniture and it does sound like a long time, but sometimes it's a lot harder to do it by yourself as you need three hands.

But I don't see what business of his how long it took. He was in bed sick, so it wasn't like he was waiting for you both to go out was he?

AcrossthePond55 · 15/07/2018 22:05

That doesn't mean he didn't feel too ill to read small print and assemble things. You could have said you preferred to wait until he felt better so you'd have help.

RabbitsAreTasty · 15/07/2018 22:05

He did fuck all and is moaning that you didn't work fast enough. How is he not buried under the patio?

Also, my experience of migraines is not one where I could sit in nice bright daylight watching someone working and having a conversation. Ice pack on his head pffft. You were had paddington.

Does he get stress related "migraines" often when there's serious work to be done?

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 15/07/2018 22:10

Hell is other people.

As a single parent I do it all and it takes as long as it takes, it may or may not get done ( depending on if I fancy a sunbathe, or meeting friends or something else)

He's the issue, not the time it took to make it up. And well done on doing it by the way. Next one will be easier,

nellly · 15/07/2018 22:13

It sounds like a tough time for both of you.
You're trying to get unpacked and this would be miserable weather to have a migraine and be vomiting. It's not nice for him to moan about how long it takes but it's not like he ignored you and sat in the garden having a beer Confused I'm sure everything will seem a bit brighter once you've both had a good nights
Sleep Thanks

justbinthefeckinbyebyebox · 15/07/2018 22:16

() () () () from me Paddington!!!

I've done sod all today in this heat, not sure I could fit it all in a day anyway!

Oldraver · 15/07/2018 22:29

My OH is quite good with this type of thing. I will do flatpack but dont always have the strength in my hands.

So OH did the last cd rack and managed to do it inside out...all the holes for the shelf pegs were on the outside Grin..I so tried not to laugh

Doingreat · 15/07/2018 22:37

I'm so impressed you've managed to do it all by yourself OP. Especially with the dyslexia. I'm not dyslexic but would not manage to do ikea furniture assembly in a month of sundays. I avoid anything flat pack like the plague and cannot imagine spending 8 hours patiently getting it all done. Kudos to you.

(Would probably have kicked the bits and pieces and broken my toe)

AlecTrevelyan006 · 15/07/2018 22:39

I’ve assembled loads of IKEA stuff over the years - always takes me at least twice as long as the suggested time

KokoandAllBall · 15/07/2018 22:43

I always look up a YouTube video of someone else putting it together. There are some for pretty much everything Ikea sells. Every single time I put flatpack together I get re-confused by those twisty lock bolt things and need to see a practical demonstration.

gorgeoushazydaysofsummer · 15/07/2018 22:49

These flat pack things are all the same. The first time you put one together, it takes ages. The second time, it’s quicker. The third time, you can whiz through it. But we only ever put together one of each item!

Op, you sound like you did well.

Even if your dp has a migraine, he still acted like a tit today.