Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it as bad as I think it’s going to be?

54 replies

LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:03

I have been invited on a friends Hen Do. A friend who came to my Hen Do (night out in my home town) when she knew none of my friends which was quite nerve wracking for her.

Hen organiser (I know none of her friends) has invited me.

It’s a night out to see the Dreamboys.

I cannot imagine anything worse, it makes me cringe thinking about it - I am however free to go.

Do I make an excuse or suck it up (as it were)? Confused

OP posts:
ImFreeToDoWhatIWant · 15/07/2018 17:07

Excuse yourself. Naff, naff, naff.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:10

I feel so bad as she made so much effort to come to mine - but the thought of being forced to participate makes me feel sick Shock

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 15/07/2018 17:11

No way would I go. Yuck.

JennyHolzersGhost · 15/07/2018 17:12

No no no. Just don’t go. Any excuse you like. No way.

JennyHolzersGhost · 15/07/2018 17:12

If you feel bad about her, take her out for dinner and make a fuss of her before / after the wedding.

starcrossedseahorse · 15/07/2018 17:13

Bloody hell. Do not go. Sounds absolutely awful.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:13

Has anyone been and it’s been better than what they were expecting?!

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 15/07/2018 17:14

I’ll go against the grain and say if she really would appreciate you being there and she made an effort to go to yours despite being nerve wracking for her, then you should repay the favour. It’s one night, you’ll get through it.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:14

Ooh yes I could take her on a spa day....

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/07/2018 17:15

Does the hen know about the plans?

I only ask because I once declined a hen do which involved a strip show as it sounded horrendous and it later turned out others had felt the same and the bride didn’t have a clue what her sister had organised.

I cried off blaming finances as it was miles away, I didn’t know anyone, the plans sounded shit, there were outfits, I wasn’t close to the bride anyway, everyone else was from there so I was the only one who’d have needed accommodation. The bride was totally fine with me not going, can’t argue with finances!

LockedOutOfMN · 15/07/2018 17:15

Offer to treat her to a day or night out before or after the wedding, her choice of date and activity, you pay.

Lethaldrizzle · 15/07/2018 17:16

I have never been but i think it probably would be more entertaining than you think albeit v tacky and I would go for a friend.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:16

OMG I hadn’t even thought about the “theme” 😱😱

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 15/07/2018 17:18

I'd stick it up and go tbh if she did the same for you. It's part of friendship to put yourself out.

SquatBetty · 15/07/2018 17:18

Tack-O-Rama

I would make my excuses and not go. And do something nice with your friend at a later date.

OwlinaTree · 15/07/2018 17:18

Suck it up!

XiCi · 15/07/2018 17:19

If my friend had made such an effort to come on my hen night then absolutely I would go yes. Be a bit shit to let her down. No, it's not your thing but all hen nights are insufferable cheesy anyway. The Dreamboys are just an act on at the theatre aren't they? I don't imagine you would have to participate. It's not a male stripper in a pub.

Festivecheer26 · 15/07/2018 17:20

It's not my thing either but I managed to survive a couple of hours watching it. I'm guessing there's dinner and drinks before and after the show which you would enjoy? Go for your friend and enjoy the bits you can.

Kenworthington · 15/07/2018 17:20

OMG my friend made me go to the dreamboys once. I was NOT looking forward to it and it was SO much worse than I was expecting, I got the total rage and huffed off half way through (just after she had to make me sit down before I marched on stage to ‘rescue’ this really mortified looking young woman)

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:21

Is there “audience participation”?

OP posts:
Wildlingofthewest · 15/07/2018 17:21

If you knew a few of the girls you could probably make a night of it, have a few drinks and cringe at it while a bit tipsy but if you don’t know anyone and it’s not your scene then i would just make an excuse and not go.
You can offer to take the bride out for lunch afterwards, although I don’t think that would be expected.
Don’t worry about it - it’s only a hen do!

alltoomuchrightnow · 15/07/2018 17:22

yes it's one night and because she came to yours.
i hate hen nights, have had to do actual weekends not just nights and hated every second. But yes.. she'll note you not being there
Good luck!

HRHCatherinePrincessofWales · 15/07/2018 17:23

Nooo! Don't go. I was at an event once - not a hen do but a networking gathering for female expats in my city - and as a 'surprise' the organisers had arranged a male stripper (WTF??!! It didn't make any sense at the time).

It was HORRENDOUS. So, so, so cringey. Just gross. I left after 5 minutes and felt grubby all the way home.

Kenworthington · 15/07/2018 17:24

@LadyRussell there will be audience participation and also

Tillytrotter123 · 15/07/2018 17:26

Well I went to see dreamboys for my friends hen do. Yes it was cringy and I didn't know anyone else there but it wasn't that horrendous in the end. I think sometimes we need to go out of our way for our friends, like she did you. If you really don't want to go maybe just explain to her how you feel and offer to take her out to dinner or something.

Swipe left for the next trending thread