Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it as bad as I think it’s going to be?

54 replies

LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:03

I have been invited on a friends Hen Do. A friend who came to my Hen Do (night out in my home town) when she knew none of my friends which was quite nerve wracking for her.

Hen organiser (I know none of her friends) has invited me.

It’s a night out to see the Dreamboys.

I cannot imagine anything worse, it makes me cringe thinking about it - I am however free to go.

Do I make an excuse or suck it up (as it were)? Confused

OP posts:
XiCi · 15/07/2018 17:28

It often amazes me how little people value friendships on mumsnet. Part of being a good friend is sometimes doing things that you don't particularly enjoy because it's important to the friend and vice versa. She wants you on her hen night not on a bloody spa day after the time. If everyone thought nah, ill just take her out for lunch there would be no one at the hen night!

Tillytrotter123 · 15/07/2018 17:29

When I went the only audience participation was from people who volunteered. Don't worry, they won't just drag you onstage!

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:30

But why oh who oh why the Dreamboys 😫

OP posts:
Seasawride · 15/07/2018 17:31

It’s not about you though is it op?

It’s her hen do her choice and if you are properly her mate you would go.

I draw that line at weeks in Spain but one night seeing the dream boys? Got don’t be such a drama queen.

Seasawride · 15/07/2018 17:32

And hope you reajise this is quite outing?

XiCi · 15/07/2018 17:34

They're not going to drag someone kicking and screaming onto the stage. I'm sure there will be willing volunteers in the audience

ghostyslovesheets · 15/07/2018 17:35

And hope you reajise this is quite outing?

well yes because it's not like any other hen party ever would think The Dreamboys live would be ideal for a hen night Hmm

pumpkinpie01 · 15/07/2018 17:36

I have seen the Dreamboys it was tacky , cheesy fun and we all had such a laugh , move out of your comfort zone and go !

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:39

I dunno - there are loads of threads on here about Stags going to strip joints and their wives or girlfriends getting really pissed off about it and being told to LTB.

This however is ok.

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 15/07/2018 17:39

I would politely decline.

I really don't get why nights out like that are supposed to be 'fun' or 'funny'. They're not. They're gross, uncomfortable, tacky and low class.

ghostyslovesheets · 15/07/2018 17:41

I wouldn't go - it's my idea of hell on wheels - utterly vile

JennyHolzersGhost · 15/07/2018 17:41

I agree OP. It’s a question of your personal values. Other people might disagree but ultimately if it’s something you’re not comfortable with then you shouldn’t go, precisely as MN would advise a guy who doesn’t want to go to a strip club not to go.

labazs · 15/07/2018 17:41

id crawl under the table with embarrasment just say sorry not my thing dont want to spoil it for rest of folk so perhaps meet up for a drink after

OwlinaTree · 15/07/2018 17:42

But presumably it's what the bride wants to do. You are going to celebrate with the bride, surely you just suck up the choice of activity? You are not being asked to break the law?

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 17:50

No it’s not breaking the law.

It just makes me feel really really uncomfortable Confused

OP posts:
CocoaGin70 · 15/07/2018 17:51

I went on a night out to see the Dreamboys. My friend not only asked me but asked my mum along too with a lot of other friends and their mums............. my mum screamed and shouted the whole way through, and ended up with a poster and babyoiling one of the Dreamboys Hmm. It was the most humiliating night of my life......... and one of the funniest. Get very drunk - don't make eye contact whatever you do - and remember they do very much involve the audience Grin. Some women will behave very badly - as long as you're prepared you will be fine!

sockunicorn · 15/07/2018 17:56

she came to your hen do with no friends there, so i would suck it up and go :)

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/07/2018 17:56

Not my idea of fun. But it is just a few hours. I’d suck it up.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 15/07/2018 18:00

*I dunno - there are loads of threads on here about Stags going to strip joints and their wives or girlfriends getting really pissed off about it and being told to LTB.

This however is ok*

this is one of the problems I'd have with it. If my husband went to see a similar show with women performing, I'd be livid. I don't think it would be any different, or somehow harmless, if I went to see male strippers.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 15/07/2018 19:41

I haven’t actually discussed it with my DH.

I don’t think he would have an issue but am not sure Confused

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 15/07/2018 19:52

Presumably there will be other things happening like a meal and drinks. If you are really uncomfortable could you suddenly get a call and left the show after 20 mind and sit in the bar to the end?

Screenburn · 15/07/2018 20:29

If there’s someone else going whom you know, go to the bar with them at the start of the show and just stay there. I did this at a Dreamboys show as it was the only way to make it tolerable Wine

Whobloodyknows · 15/07/2018 20:31

It depends how good friends you are? If it was someone close to me I would suck it up, it’s only one night etc, if not just make an excuse - if you arnt that close she won’t care that much!(sorry to be harsh!)

XiCi · 15/07/2018 20:41

It might not be a bad idea actually as pp said to slip out and wait it out in the theatre bar with a glass of wine if it all gets to much. Have been known to do this before at a particularly dire xmas panto Smile

Redundancy1 · 15/07/2018 20:45

I know someone who went to this kind of show, with misgivings, because it was a hen do. She left early saying she felt ill....which she did! Just don't go.