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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting pregnant while using condoms properly...

55 replies

Flatearthersphere · 15/07/2018 16:30

How does this happen?

If you use them properly, so no messing about before the condom is on, condom doesn't visibly split etc, partner removes himself once finished...
how??

I am having a mild freak out as I am a few days late and have been vomiting on and off for a couple of days. But I swear to god we use them as they say in the instructions.

Wouldn't be the end of the world, I am aware they're only 98% effective but I guess I thought that I would know if they had failed and would have warning so that I could get the morning after pill.

I also know AIBU is probably not the best section to post in, but I need people to talk me down out of this freak out, and I would love to get a test but my husband thinks I am being ludicrous and I am too "sicky" to face the outside world today.

OP posts:
Mimmim112 · 15/07/2018 16:34

I always assumed the 98% effective thing meant that they split 2% of the time?

Oysterbabe · 15/07/2018 16:34

I guess there could be a tiny hole you didn't notice? You need to test.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 15/07/2018 16:35

@Mimmim112 yes me too, so then it should be obvious wouldn't it? definitely no split that we have seen. maybe i can calm down and just feel sorry for myself and blame my icky toddlers for bringing germs in!

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 15/07/2018 16:37

Condoms w spermicide? I always assumed the 2% was from when they split. I guess finger or oral transfer is also a possibility in some circumstances.

Halebeke425 · 15/07/2018 16:39

Used completely properly like you say, it's incredibly unlikely. The only way I could see it happening was if there was a tiny hole or the condoms were out of date so it leaked a bit. Does dh check it afterwards?

The only thing that's going to settle your mind is to take a test though. If you have a stomach bug or something, that might have thrown your period off a few days.

NewYearNewMe18 · 15/07/2018 16:42

The effectiveness of male condoms is 87%, femidoms 79%

www.bpas.org/more-services-information/contraception/

They are one of the worst forms of contraception, on a par with the withdrawal method

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 15/07/2018 17:20

I think I'll have to wait until I feel better before I get a test as my husband won't get me one. I think it must just be a bug though.

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 15/07/2018 17:29

I think I'll have to wait until I feel better before I get a test as my husband won't get me one

Did he sabotage the condom? Go for the morning after pill asap.

ItchyBitchFace · 15/07/2018 17:33

Your period can be delayed if you were ill or stressed at ovulation stage, might that be the case? Genuinely can't see how a condom can fail if used properly.

polarpercy · 15/07/2018 17:38

The effectiveness is 98% when used correctly the figure quoted above is based on typical use in first year. This lower figure will include human error and ignoring instructions. The NHS is clear: www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/male-condoms/

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 15/07/2018 17:43

They are one of the worst forms of contraception, on a par with the withdrawal method
Seriously? Hmm

And yes, no contraception is 100%. Simple as. Sorry.

LoniceraJaponica · 15/07/2018 17:45

Why won't your husband buy a pregnancy test?

NewYearNewMe18 · 15/07/2018 17:49

TheHodgeoftheHedge my source is the British Pregnancy Advisory Service - I've linked to the statistics page for each contraceptive. Are you saying they are wrong? Perhaps you should write to them with yoru research.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 15/07/2018 17:52

My husband definitely did not sabotage the condom, good god. He just thinks it's a waste of 6 quid as we use them properly and that I must have a bug.

OP posts:
ThomasNightingale · 15/07/2018 17:55

The 87% figure is so low because it includes people who when asked “what contraception are you using” tick the box marked Condoms, but when it actually comes to the point, after a couple of beers, think “what the hell!”

But 98% failure rate per year for perfect use is still not great, especially if you’re planning on using condoms as your only method on contraception for decades at a time.

HoneyBadgerApparently · 15/07/2018 17:57

I got pregnant with DC3 using a condom properly and checked after use. DC2 was only 8 months old and I never had a period between them Confused

ExFury · 15/07/2018 17:59

Have you any other symptoms or are you just feeling sicky?

If it’s just that you’ve been vomiting for a couple of days then your husband is right about not going anywhere as it’s probably a bug, but why are you sure it’s not?

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 15/07/2018 17:59

I think there's always a risk you've missed a small split or some has leaked out, if your DH didn't pull out straight away type thing.

Sorry to be TMI but maybe when putting them on a bit of precum gets on the outside?

I honestly don't want to worry you, and chances are it's probably a bug but I think you need to do a test to put your mind at rest. I know as well in the past when I've been late and worried about being pregnant the stress of it seems to make my period even later! That could be rubbish of course but every time I've tested my period seems to start almost as soon as I've done it Grin

Qcumber · 15/07/2018 17:59

Yep happened to me. Not split. No messing. I was sure I had a bug. I was 8 weeks by the time I did a test. DD is 2 now.

Polarbearflavour · 15/07/2018 18:03

If the condom doesn’t split, how can you get pregnant? Been using them for 15 years with no pregnancy. Maybe I shouldn’t be so smug then!

HildaZelda · 15/07/2018 18:09

You don't have to pay £6 for a test. The pound shop ones work just as well.
I'm not liking your husband's attitude though. If he knows how concerned you are and you can't go and get one yourself then he should definitely be getting you a test.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 15/07/2018 18:10

@ExFury yeah it's just the sickines and the late period as I'm very regular. I do think it is most likely a bug, just wondering about it really.

I will try and get a test tomorrow just to put my mind at rest, I haven't eaten in 48 hours as I am so nauseous.

OP posts:
Audree · 15/07/2018 18:12

You’re sick and your husband refuses to buy you a test to save money?
I would be furious.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 15/07/2018 18:17

He's not refusing, just sort of laughing it off. Honestly don't take my husbands reaction too seriously, he's just like "ah don't be daft it's just a bug!" he's looking after me very well, maybe he's in a bit of denial?

OP posts:
FoxAndBear · 15/07/2018 18:18

You're worried and asked him to do a small thing that will put your mind at rest. He's laughing you off?

Your husband sounds like an immature bellend.