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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be horrified to find an ENTIRE FORMED POO in my toddler’s bag?

90 replies

Kippenbelladonna · 14/07/2018 15:27

DS is nearly 30 months old and we started potty training 2 weeks ago, which is going really well. He goes to nursery 5 days a week and he has soiled himself a handful of times but not for a week until yesterday. Wet or soiled pants put in nappy sacks and then in his bag as expected. Yesterday he came home with DH and bag stank. Opened it to find his pants had been put in the sack with the entire poo in them. Both DH and I feel standards have slipped in last few months and have spoken to the manager. DS is happy and confident and moving in 6 months to new school nursery so don’t want to be complaining again and understand with H&S etc, staff don’t want to be handling poo but wtf....where is the red line?? What’s the standard for handling this situation in nurseries? What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kippenbelladonna · 14/07/2018 22:41

Wow MN is awesome! Have spent too much time reading posts for entertainment and education over the last TWO AND A HALF YEARS but rarely contribute an opinion and this is the first time I've ever started a thread 👏
50 responses in just a few hours, thank you all 👍🏻 Very sorry to have offended some with the "30 months".....it seemed shorter than writing 2 and a half in the moment and we just had DS's nursery review this week, with all the EYFS stuff, which is in months and I get these monthly babycentre email updates with "your toddler at x months" and I'm embarrassed to say just how old I am but it's considerably more than 408 months as DS was a delightful surprise after having given up on kids years ago and every month is a wonder 😂
Anyway, I shall just calmly report my displeasure and hope it doesn't happen again. I feel it's chaotic at his nursery at times due to poor leadership but there's nothing unkind or dangerous so we will suck it up for another half a year 🤪

OP posts:
GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 14/07/2018 22:45

Or another 6 months?

Thehop · 14/07/2018 22:47

We tip pop down the loo. I’d definitely mention it. The changing/toiletting log will show them who’s responsible and they’ll have a word.

FarFlungFairy · 14/07/2018 22:52

In our setting the poo get flushed and pants would be binned.
There’s absolutely no reason to send shitty pants home.

BlackberryandNettle · 14/07/2018 22:57

Glad you are going to say something. It seems spiteful and very lazy to literally bag an entire poo - sure nursery staff are busy but they can at least turn out the lumps over the toilet!!

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 14/07/2018 22:58

If you work with toddlers dealing with poo pretty much comes with the territory, it's a bit like working in a hospital and complaining about sick or something. This must happen all the time and the nursery should know how to deal with it, a whole poo should be tipped in a toilet and flushed away, you can't just bag a poo up and send it home! I think you need to have a word with the university, it will need nipping in the bud. It might be a new staff member or something didn't quite know how to handle it.

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 14/07/2018 23:00

Nursery not university! Let's hope no one is making university staff bag up their poo!

BrinDiesel · 14/07/2018 23:00

I'm sorry, I couldn't help but chuckle at the title of this thread Grin

But in all seriousness, what the hell were they thinking? I would be furious and would definitely complain.

tinatsarina · 14/07/2018 23:03

My nursery flushes anything they can but we don't rinse. It's all double bagged and sent home

HIRJH · 14/07/2018 23:04

Ugh our nursery once bagged up a whole poo but the setting told me he'd wet himself not soiled himself. So I threw the lot in the washing machine and there was poo pieces in the machine and among the whole load of washing. I swear it took so many rewashes to get the poo smell out. Not impressed but lesson learnt. Smell everything 🤮

BrinDiesel · 14/07/2018 23:09

Also laughing at people saying they've had parents complain when shitty pants have been thrown out. Who does that? Are their kids in Calvin Klein undies or something?

ThorsMistress · 14/07/2018 23:11

YANU to say 30 months. Your child is 2.5 years.

OwlBeThere · 14/07/2018 23:17

might just have been a bit of a brain fart moment, where the person meant to flush it first and just didn't accidentally. My husband once put a nappy on the 3 year old for bed, but no the 1 year old. we all do stuff wrong at times, no?!

hazeyjane · 14/07/2018 23:20

WTF is wrong with 30months?!

In our setting the poo get flushed and pants would be binned
There’s absolutely no reason to send shitty pants home

In our setting, if we did this there would (rightly, Imo) be a riot!

FarFlungFairy · 14/07/2018 23:27

hazeyjane
You have odd parents at your setting, why on earth would anyone want shit stained pants in their kids bag? That’s seriously 🤮

Clankboing · 14/07/2018 23:30

It's so busy in a nursery and the practitioner was more than likely multi-tasking, talking to child and clearing up, finding clean things, s/he probably got muddled and made a mistake. Be kind! S* happens.

hazeyjane · 14/07/2018 23:32

Because you can wash said pants and use them again. I don't think they want to frame them!

I'm sort of surprised that people just throw the out!

quizqueen · 15/07/2018 00:18

Where I work, we wear plastic gloves to change children's nappies or soiled clothes. I would hold soiled pants in the toilet bowl and flush several times and then put the item in a plastic bag but, mostly, we ask parents if the pants can be just thrown away. We also record all changes of nappies and clothes on a note given to the parents on collection so they know if there are dirty items in their child's bag.

I'm betting if an adult pooed their pants then they wouldn't wear them again. Maybe an apprentice or similar changed your child that day; no excuse though.

Kursk · 15/07/2018 02:28

InsomniacAnonymous

I understand both, but don’t have the inclination to work it out.

YoYotheclown · 15/07/2018 02:37

To a pp who cant be assed to throw out poo - Just because you have lots of children going to the loo. Doesn’t mean you send back a lump of poo back to the parents. I mean how long does it take to drop the stuff IN the toilet. Confused

LauderSyme · 15/07/2018 03:01

Your update at 22.41 is very gracious OP, you come across as a lovely, reasonable person Smile

And - to address your original point - perfectly reasonable to be horrified. Retch.

Floradoranora · 15/07/2018 04:45

I don't think people who can't or won't flush a shit rather than send it home should be looking after toddlers, let alone being paid to do so.

I’d go as far as to also say if they can’t wash the pants out either before sending them home they shouldnt be working with children.

OneStepSideways · 15/07/2018 06:53

Our nursery rinses soiled knickers in some sort of disinfectant, rings them out and double bags them. Surely that's the only hygienic thing to do? I'd be really cross to find bits of poo in the bag let alone a whole one!

IVEgotthePOWER · 15/07/2018 07:14

Lots of parents would wash the pants not bin them.

As i said earlier rinsing shitty pants is not in the job description.

restingbemusedface · 15/07/2018 07:17

Christ that’s gross!! Our nursery washes clothes in the washing machine and then pops them in carrier bags for the parents to dry off!