to think NCT is really expensive and there aren't many alternatives?

[Saharaw]

First time mum. Don't know much about childbirth and would love to go to classes. Can't really afford NCT which I didn't expect to be quite so expensive. I can't find any alternatives in my area and my midwife has just told me to look online for them as she's new to the area and doesn't know what's available (felt she should have looked in to this but oh well).

Someone please convince me I'm being unreasonable to think there's nothing in there and point me in the right direction? Me and DP are clueless and really want to go to classes.

It's a good point actually re deciding to pay for a one-off 1-2-1 with someone.

I've decided that if I have a DC2 that I will put the money aside to pay for a couple of sessions with a lactation consultant as the most stressful thing for me with DD was establishing breastfeeding and having the confidence to pursue it when the hospital paediatrician had decided I must give DD formula top ups.

As others say, very few deliveries go to 'plan' and the classes can set up unrealistic expectations.

I didn’t do NCT classes with either of my boys and I was fine! I had no knowledge of babies or birth beforehand but you kind of learn on the job. I did do Daisy birthing with my second and found it helpful - but more to relax me as my first birth experience was difficult (baby 13 weeks prem). Your DH wouldn’t be able to attend those. Honestly, I know it’s all so daunting but the best thing is to not overthink and worry about things.

We went to NCT classes and I also went to some NHS clinic classes.

The NCT were very good indeed- the teacher totally took on board that I was going to have to have a medically managed birth and was excellent at explaining that every birth is different, things rarely go t exact plan and here are coping strategies for those occasions. She was also good at the thing the OP mentioned which was explaining the practical and emotional support role of the partner. Her description of the stages of labour and the ways to deal with pain were spot on - I still use them to cope with occasions of severe pain to this day. I also made good friends.

The NHS clinic classes were very much more about relaxation and going to your happy place and what to pack in your hospital bag. Different and useful but quite superficial. Also made some friends there !

I think NCT is largely pot luck as to whether you like the teacher you get and whether you gel with the group.

We did it with DD (22months now) and it's the best money I could have spent. They were an absolute lifeline during maternity leave and 3 of the women I met I still see regularly now even though we're all long back at work, one of them has become one of my best friends.

Have a look on the nhs website. It’s got loads of info on there. Pretty much everything you might get on their course and then if you have any questions from that ask your midwife.

I have to say I thought the nct course was a load of shit. Our teacher was utterly fixated on natural births. She scared the shit out of all of us telling us how dangerous c sections are. (Four out of eight of us ended up having one) and as a result we felt massive failures despite the fact we were all safe.

Also ours were only during work hours in the middle of the day. I asked if there was anything at the weekend/evening so my partner could attend and was told shirtily that antenatal care means you get time off work automatically. Which is true for me. But not for partners! So my dh had to take four days off work. So be careful about timings.

And yes the biggest thing is making friends. But have a search for nct/baby and bump groups locally. You don’t have to be a member and you can still meet people. I met loads at baby swimming/baby yoga/baby massage etc

We went to a local one which was amazing -not nct - ex midwife - made lovely friends - definitely worth it for baby friends!
Personally the nhs ones were hideous! About 40 in the group and meh!
This time I’m looking at nct as they do a second baby refresher but isn’t cheap but I didn’t find I met that many people in baby groups and socially these groups make an effort to meet up again which for me was worth it’s weight in gold.

I went to NCT, NHS and hypnobirthing classes. The basic information was pretty v the same, the emphasis on the extras was slightly different, and the leader for each did pay attention to what we were most concerned about - we told the NCT leader that we were more worried about the looking after a baby part rather than the labour part, so she brought in baby dolls, nappies, baths, etc to demonstrate and play with. Ask the questions you want, don't let them just talk about natural births or whatever.

I know it was overkill but one reason I did it is because I wanted them to drill into DH what to expect and what kind of support I wanted - he is more likely to listen to professionals or people with experience, rather than me quoting a book or website I read! It was very hard to get him to focus otherwise. So I completely sympathise. From that respect it was really good for DH.

I did NCT. It was ok. Except for the breastfeeding session which was crap. I did make 2 friends out of it but the other 3 couples vanished after a week or two.

If you havent already i really recommend joining the mumsnet AN group for your due month. Lots of chat there and i have met some of my closest friends through my groups for both DC. Some of them even live really locally. They got me through those early nights and even 2.5 years on with DC1 they are often the first people i turn to.

I did NHS classes when I was 36 weeks pregnant, and one lady there was 40 weeks and still attending so 38 weeks not too late (unless baby has other plans obviously). I found them fairly informative, however a little bit militant in some aspects (ie breastfeeding - absolutely nothing but negativity from the woman taking the class about anything to do with formula feeding). From a social viewpoint, I didn't feel the NHS classes were at all focussed on this and nobody interacted much as they were more of a classroom feel as opposed to an open forum, discussion set up if that makes sense.