to think NCT is really expensive and there aren't many alternatives?

[Saharaw]

First time mum. Don't know much about childbirth and would love to go to classes. Can't really afford NCT which I didn't expect to be quite so expensive. I can't find any alternatives in my area and my midwife has just told me to look online for them as she's new to the area and doesn't know what's available (felt she should have looked in to this but oh well).

Someone please convince me I'm being unreasonable to think there's nothing in there and point me in the right direction? Me and DP are clueless and really want to go to classes.

Honestly, don't expect the classes to fully prepare you for birth. For instance, they only briefly mentioned Induction but 3 out of 8 of us were induced and our birth plans were pretty much redundant. You'll learn just as much by reading books and going online.
The giving birth part, whilst of primary importance to you now, will be over in no time but the friendships you make at a class (I did NCT) could last you years.
Unless you will be getting lots of free family help and support, I would strongly recommend joining a class and making an effort to make friends. When you're struggling with a relentless migraine, whilst projectile vomiting and trying to entertain a crawling baby, those friendships can really save your sanity. My DS is 9 now but I'm still friends with 4 other mums from my NCT group.

@Kool4katz as I mentioned before, the birth bit is more for DP. I think he's quite nervous and he's nervous he won't be able to support me properly so it will be great for him to receive some tips from people who have real life experience (think I may struggle to get him to sign up to mn and ask questions! He's a reserved soul to say the least).

I'm having scans every 3 weeks with a consultant so thankfully we at least have these appointment to pick her brains, which she is more than happy for us to do!

The NCT classes are total bullshit and only useful for making friends (which is important TBF). I just had my first baby (last week actually) and during labour a midwife actually told me (related to pain relief) how much she hates NCT advice and how difficult it makes her job as people come in with these ridiculous notions and won’t listen to the professional medical advice given. She told me next child to go to the NHS antenatal course. I won’t because I think once you have one you don’t need a course; but I urge you to look into the NHS courses. But anyway every single person has a different opinion on everything. I’ve been told a complete range of information in one week from different midwives, including some stuff which is appallingly incorrect!

I've just done two out of three of my NCT classes - final one next week. Class 2 about breastfeeding was really interesting and useful as I didn't think I knew anything. But actually, I didn't learn anything from the first class that I didn't already know having only read WTEWYE and one other mummy blogger's book. My husband and I were probably the most informed people in both classes so far (a terrifying prospect for mankind) so don't feel you have to do them. I don't think we'll be staying in touch with any of the other members of the group so not worth it for social side IMO.

legally in the UK you are allowed paid time off for antenatal classes

Are you sure OP? Pretty sure it's antenatal care you're guaranteed not classes

@crispysausagerolls you're not to first person to say that! I've heard a couple of people say that. My dad is a GP and also doesn't like NCT but I thought I would give it a try... maybe I should stick to NHS.

Folks. Is 38 weeks too late to be attending a childbirth class?

Honestly you really don't need classes. NCT don't even run classes in my county, I went to the NHS ones pre DC1 but I didn't learn anything at them that I hadn't already gleaned from mumsnet.

They basically run through the pros and cons of different pain relief options, different types of birth (c sec, waterbirth, home birth etc) and show you a model of how the baby moves through the birth canal during labour. They definitely don't give any magic secrets away about how to have a sneeze birth with no tearing (you have to hand over the megabucks for hypnobirthing classes for that, or if you are lucky Brian from Hull might give you some yoni massage tips for free ) sorry old mumsnet joke

As for your DP you may find that the value you end up placing on his input isnt as profound as you expect. A troupe of dancing elephants could have pirouetted through the room during both my labours and I would have barely noticed, I definitely wasn't really arsed about DP prancing about feeling and looking like a spare part.

I echo what Kool4katz said re making friends and support. NCT was worth every penny to have someone to chat to during the numerous night feeds.

NCT was really useful in preparing my DH for some scenarios but mostly it prompted a dialogue between the two of us around birth that perhaps wouldn't have happened without it.

The positive birth book is a good read and pretty much contains all that I learnt about birth from NCT. You could read it and then get your DH to read bits too.

@DerelictWreck classes fall under antenatal care for sure, especially if supported by your midwife and I can't imagine a midwife saying 'no I won't support you going to a class'

I didn’t do NCT, but DH and I did some grour hypnobirthing classes. They were great, and gave DH so much advice on how to best support me. They were so informative too, and I felt really prepared for Labour.

Thanks everyone. This is really informative.

Have you googled to see if there are any other private companies offering classes in your area? There were 2 near me, both offering classes at around half the price of NCT. Well worthwhile as I’m still friends with most of the mums years later which I personally think is the main aim. I would pick the one that’s most local to you for that reason

@Swimmingsnowman to be honest I think I just live in a really awkward area as I can't seem to find anything that local to me.

I decided against NCP- an expensive way to make friends- fine but there is no guarantee you will gel with people. Your midwife sounds crap- yes the nhs offer a birth and breastfeeding class- and both of those I went to were great. I’d press to attend an earlier one if you aren’t happy going at 38wks- though quiet a few at mine were 37wks- it was your midwifes fault.

What do we think of an idea of just buying a DVD to watch with DP? Seem to be a lot of educational ones out there with good ratings. Just to go over the basics and can ask my consultant any questions we have?

NCT...not ncp

Thanks @OnlyFoolsnMothers - honestly she didn't even mention classes to me. It was my sonographer when I had my scan a few days ago. I hadn't even thought about it (though I knew they existed). I've been so preoccupied that they never even entered my head!

@OnlyFoolsnMothers NCP also an expensive (and strange) way to make friends

My retrospective view of NCT (baby is nearly a year old) is I wish I’d gone with my fingers in my ears!

I’ll explain why: the course leader I had was utterly fixated on a natural, no pain relief, oils and breathing approach to labour, and was all hunky dory, isn’t breastfeeding amazing, natural and easy approach to raising babies, most of which turned out to be utter bollocks for me and so utterly removed from reality. She sold us a lie!! Nothing helpful and relevant about inductions, making up formula, sterilising etc. Just cloud cuckoo land rose tinted “all you need is love”.

BUT the friendships are invaluable and I could not have survived this first year without the incredible support and camaraderie of my NCT friends (getting teary over here!). So budget where you can and do the course with tongue firmly in cheek, making sure you all set up a whatsapp group at the last session.

And I would say 38 weeks is too late to start.

We did NCT and hated it. Haven’t stayed in contact with anyone in the class and didn’t cover anything other than birth plans, pain options, swaddling, burping, hospital bags etc in six weeks. (I know lots of people love them and each to their own but as my DH reminds me five years on, when I talked about signing up he suggested we spent the cash on a stack of DVD box sets for night feeds... by week three I agreed with him!).

Did a half day session with the NHS in our area and actually it was amazing - I guess it depends what you wanted to know about but I was much less concerned about giving birth than having a baby - so the stuff they covered (how to bath a baby, how to breastfeed, how many layers of clothes should a baby wear etc) was much more up my street.

I think you’d be too late now to get into a group now, they do get booked up quickly. I thought mine were good. The woman running it was a midwife at a local hospital, had 4 children and was supportive but not pushy.

I did NCT, but didn’t learn anything I hadn’t already read. The social side was nice, but with DC2 I made just as many local friends through the weekly baby group at our local children’s centre. I wouldn’t waste your money. And it certainly didn’t help with birth. 1/7 of us had a straightforward birth.

Don't stress it, OP. I did an NCT class primarily because my midwife thought I would really need the companionship because I presented from her POV as a middle-class professional living in London a long way from family and with little local support, hence potentially isolated but in fact my group simply didn't really get on that well, and drifted apart almost immediately after a couple of months.

The information you can get from any decent pregnancy and childbirth book, and in fact, while I get that the NCT was set up to promote a kinder, more woman-centric, less authoritarian model of childbirth in the days of compulsory enemas, shaving and 'do what the doctor says', I found its negativity towards medicalised childbirth unhelpful, especially when I ended up having a CS.

A lot of my group felt the same -- a lot of us ended up having more interventionist births than we'd planned. The teacher was an old-school hippy who kept email around as we began to have our babies and being visibly rather disappointed that we were all having epidurals and CSs etc.

Take the NHS class when available maybe worth checking back again to see if there are cancellations on an earlier course read a few books, and remember that you don't need to join the NCT to go to coffee mornings and the like.

The thickest person I know has a Phd and the most intelligent person I have ever known in my life is my dad who had to leave school at 14.

Sorry, that made no sense -- my midwife found it weird that as she thought I was an older FTM middle-class professional living in a very working-class part of London, I'd be isolated. Hence really pushing the NCT, which was in fact a total let-down. In fact, it's an expensive way of making middle-class friends, and whether or not you like the other people in your group is potluck.