to think NCT is really expensive and there aren't many alternatives?

[Saharaw]

First time mum. Don't know much about childbirth and would love to go to classes. Can't really afford NCT which I didn't expect to be quite so expensive. I can't find any alternatives in my area and my midwife has just told me to look online for them as she's new to the area and doesn't know what's available (felt she should have looked in to this but oh well).

Someone please convince me I'm being unreasonable to think there's nothing in there and point me in the right direction? Me and DP are clueless and really want to go to classes.

Not the same thing but more to do with meeting other mums, Flying Start?

Might be a Welsh thing tho, seems to be run by the Council.

There's a group that comes to where I volunteer & they have a walk & eat paninis, looks quite good.

It really depends on you, your area, the teacher, and luck of the draw with who else goes.
My NCT class had 8 couples, all first timers, in a small town where we all crossed paths frequently. One of them even lived on my road!
7 years later we’ve settled into 2 main friendship groups, but all get together a couple of times a year.
It’s been incredibly valuable to me, esp since I moved to the area halfway through my pregnancy.
However, the teacher was awful. As above, huge emphasis on natural birth, no supportive discussion of any other options. They passed an epidural needle around the class in a fear-mongering way.
As it turned out, none of the 8 births were straightforward. Several early babies, some gestational diabetes with inductions or csections. Instrumental births. And a couple of emergency csections.
All resulted in healthy babies, but none of us were prepared by the class. We actually considered complaining as a group but didn’t.

The local children’s centre postnatal groups were useful, so do find out about them.

If you just want information buy a book. If you want to meet people NCT is invaluable for many but obviously there's no guarantee you'll make friends for life (maternity leave). NHS classes may work well but will depend a bit on area as to how well these provide ready made friends if that is of importance to you. I'm in London and did both, the NHS classes were massive and there was no real bonding between us whereas my NCT group were lovely and local and amazing support.

Paid time off is limited to 10 appointments but does include classes.

In my opinion 38 weeks is a little late but not a huge issue unless you have already given birth.

Echo previous posters regarding your DP, he needs to "do" fairly little during the birth aside from being not annoying! If he already irritates you in times of stress/intensity/pain I would look at an alternative birth partner!

In your situation i’d seriously consider booking a doula or private midwife for a 1-2-1 session at home, where they can explain it all to the both of you in a more focussed way.

@ForTheGram oh really? I had no idea. I've had about 15 appointments already, 7 of those scans! Thankfully my workplace pay me for all of them. Maybe I'm confused with my work policy.

If anything at least this thread has made me realise that both classes aren't the be all and end all of everything.

My DP doesn't really know what to expect and I guess it would be nice to prepare him for the reality of childbirth. He won't read about it, he's rubbish. A DVD would hold his attention. Fingers crossed the class at 38 weeks is ok and I haven't given birth by then! I hear most first time babies are late...

@VforVienetta wouldn't that be really expensive?

More for meeting the right sort of middle class mummies than answering childbirth questions, aren't they?

I did the free NHS ones and nct. The nct was a waste of money but the NHS ones had much more helpful information.

Ok brilliant. Hopefully baby hasn't been born before then! The class is 14 days exactly before my due date. Fingers crossed!

I did nhs ones. There is absolutely no need to pay for NCT- it is ridiculously over priced and very pro breastfeeding/natural births.

Not necessarily OP, it’d be a one-off rather than 10 weeks of evening classes. Give a few a call and see what they offer, might well be worth it.

(Also my first arrived at 36 weeks, just saying....)

My area has no NHS free ones which I'm really disappointed about. I'd like to learn more about breastfeeding etc so I think we will have to do nct.

@VforVienetta thank you. Googling now!

@VforVienetta this is my fear... of course I would be fine class or no class but a little preparation would be nice. I don't even understand the concept of when to and when not to push. As I said, clueless. All I know is that a baby is going to come out of my vagina or abdomen somehow!

@Nothisispatrick maybe you could also check out the below suggestion by @VforVienetta as well?

If I had a pregnant sister or BFF I would be giving them a voucher for a visit from a lactation consultant when baby’s arrived (if they intended to BF obvs), as it was the best money I ever spent.
I had our local one come and see me at home when DS1 was a week old, and she was amazing.

Highly recommended.

Also OP, if you @ someone they get an email saying they’ve been tagged, the usual MN way is to just highlight their name using name (with no spaces) so it bolds like this; name

Oh sorry! As you can tell I'm brand new here so still learning mn etiquette 🙈 sorry folks!

No worries! It’s a brilliant site I didn’t find til my DS1 was 4mo, wish I’d known about it while pregnant.

I did NCT and found it unrealistic. None of the 6 other mums and myself got anywhere near a natural waterbirth, only gas and air etc that they promoted. It was useful for friendships but I wish they had spent a lot more time talking about looking after the baby as the birth, although very important, is just a blip in time in comparison.

I was put on bedrest at 32 weeks with my first so missed out on the NHS antenatal classes, mumsnet taught me everything about breastfeeding, being proactive in my birth & standing up to consultants. Even showed me the CMPA signs in a breastfed DS1 so I gave up dairy & he was fine.

Look for your local bumps & baby group. It’s usually NCT but you don’t need to be a member to go. If there’s a breastfeeding group going there will be really helpful.

Also watching One born every minute is really misleading as most of them have had an epidural so aren’t screaming & I found I really didn’t want to lie on my back.

My OH didn’t want to read either but I made him go through hypnobirthing with me for DS2 as he had to show me when to breathe. The book however did state birthing partners needed to read certain bits & that really helped.

@Saharaw

I am an NCT practitioner, I aim to give a realistic approach to labour and birth, including common intervention and options for pain relief, as well as straight forward labour. This is clearly not the case with some other practitioners as pp have experienced.

I also work for the NHS delivering antenatal classes, and wholeheartedly support the excellent work that midwives do.

Of course a large part of the experience of NCT is the social aspect, however that just enhances the learning in my opinion.

If you are unable to find a class I would be happy to signpost you to some useful resources and video clips. Just pm me.

And I strongly recommend Essentials over signature- more about looking after the baby.

”Paid time off is limited to 10 appointments but does include classes.”

No it isn’t. There is no limit, as long as the appointments are for antenatal care recommended by a midwife or doctor, including classes.