Would you change your look for your employer?

[Mondkind]

Long story short, I am in a managerial position at my current work place and have successfully interviewed for another managerial position elsewhere. Not the same job, but more of a side-step than a promotion iyswim.

I have bright red hair and an ankle tattoo, which was visible throughout the interview day. No one mentioned my looks all day. HR have just sent me my contract and the staff dress code (among other documents). It blatantly states in there that unnatural hair colours and visible tattoos are strictly forbidden and subject to disciplinary procedures.

I'm a bit taken sad to see it go, but nevertheless, I have booked myself in with a hairdresser to neutralise my colour and will cover up my tattoo with opaque tights and trousers/ socks.

Friends have commented that I shouldn't have to let go of my individual looks for an employer as it is removing part of my identity - especially as they wanted me to work for them knowing fully well that I sport a more alternative look.

I think for the sake of £45,000 a year and my dream job I can overlook this and just use coloured hair accessories/ fake streaks and flash my ankles when I'm not at work.

What do you think?

I agree with you. My work have no problems with my appearance but if I wanted to move jobs I'd expect to comply with whatever the dress code was.

Certain companies have certain expectations and if you want that job you conform.

hmm, hard one.
It is a shame it didn't come up at interview as then you could have asked.

I do think though that if you know ahead of time that this is the deal, then you have a choice, do you want to work for them or not.

On the other hand, I would be irritated over the hair especially

I had bright flame red hair at my interview and my tattoos on show. I wouldn't work for an employer who demanded I changed my hair and covered my tattoos.

I did change my hair, because I wanted to. Not because I was told to.

I got rid of all my face piercings for a job.

I think it’s just part of being a grown up- in some respects we have to conform. I wouldn’t have done it if the pay hadn’t been good though x

What industry is it in? Will you be customer facing?

Did you meet anyone from HR at your interview? I would give them a call to clarify. Ask if the colour of your hair at interview conforms with the dress code. It shows a willingness to do the right thing.

I do think that it's reasonable to comply with certain dress codes - it's just a part of life

There are always compromises to be made I guess, though it frustrates me that employers still have these outdated dress codes. What you look like doesn’t affect your ability to carry out a role.

I would probably wait and see if it is mentioned after you start, then change it if needed. A lot of HR written documents are written to their 'ideal' company position, whereas some managers will care more about certain areas (performance) than others (aesthetics).

You could phone and check. Our dress code says natural hair colours, nothing about tattoos though, and there's a lady walking around our office with hot pink hair. Now it looks fabulous but it's certainly not natural

I would start my first day with the red hair and ankle tattoo showing and then if anyone says anything say you are going to cover it up

My DD would love blue hair, she has had it before, but it cuts down her options work wise, so she just can't have it.

Her tattoos aren't visible. My other DD has one that is, when she puts her hair up, so she covers it with a plaster, or has to work somewhere else.

I'd love to not have to wear a bra and get my grey covered as often as I do, but there is a standard expected, so I have to, to look the part.

I would ask them about it. If they interviewed you like this and didn’t mention it, maybe it doesn’t actually matter?

My work place had no official dress code and I have pink hair n piercings. They tried to bring one in with immediate effect. Thankfully, I'd been there long enough that I felt able to challenge it and with a bit of union advice successfully got it altered. Pink hair and piercings remain.

Unfortunately employers always seem to forget to mention dress codes at interview which must be a pain for HR etc going through all the new recruit stuff to then have someone leave straight away cos they failed to mention it and give them the choice whether to accept the job or not.

I would make it a more natural shade of red until you've been there a while and can see how strictly its enforced. Like you say, sometimes the pay and conditions are worth compromising. Is your hair long enough that you could have a natural top layer over a more vibrant shade even?

Hmmm, does that mean if you're a natural brunette dyed blonde that's not allowed? I think you're doing the right thing though. If it's your dream job then I think you need to just suck it up.

A lot of people have to change their appearance for their employer. Ranges from temporary changes (dress code/uniform/hair tied back) to permanent (no beard/no visible tattoo). Sometimes for health and safety (no beards for food handlers), sometimes purely for image.

I'm inclined to feel that when it's purely image/branding it's OK to ask for temporary changes. But there needs to be a good reason to ask someone to make a change that will persist for their out-of-hours self.

Depends on the job as to whether such a dress code is really necessary I suppose, but I expect at that level you will be meeting customers/clients or other stakeholders and as such it's reasonable for your employer to want you to project the image they feel is important.

Places have dress codes. That's life.

I always find it odd when grown adults act like not being able to have purple hair or wear what they like is compromising their identity. How fragile must their sense of self be if they are not them because they have to have a natural hair colour?

Ditto for 'but what you wear doesn't affect learning/doing your job'. Places have rules. That's life.

Birds why do you need to cover the grey? If nothing else it's natural.
Just asking in terms of a work perspective, I do cover mine as well!

I've just left a hospitality role which dictated how I had to have my hair cut and styled, along with how I apply my compulsory makeup, underwear colour and heel height. Obviously we couldn't have coloured hair, nail varnish, piercings etc either.

I finally feel so free and I'm amazed!

I'm intrigued, what sector / sort of job is it OP? Customer facing?

I'm not sure I agree, as long as you look clean and presentable I don't think they should ask you to change hair colour or tattoos tbh.

I think it just depends on your priorities and values. If you really want the job and it's important to you and you don't mind following the dress code then I don't see it as an issue.

I'm not sure I could change now. I'm fairly senior where I am and have a ring in my nose (and have since I was 14!), lots of ear piercings and several tattoos, although only one is visible with standard work wear. It's never been mentioned or caused an issue and it's actually quite common where I work, despite reading a rather comical contrasting description on another thread of what someone thought people in my profession wore/looked like, which did make me smile.
I did take out my labret piercing a couple of years ago but mainly because it was causing an issue with my lower gum and, if I'm honest, I thought I looked a bit old for it ☹️
I'm bloody good at my job and have a reputation for it, so I feel quite strongly that that should be the focus, as opposed how I look.

I hate this, they’re paying you to do a job, they’re not paying to have control over your body in ways that don’t even impact your work. I find it so controlling. There are exceptions of course, such as being a model, but for the most part, I think it’s awful. If I was in a relationship with someone who told me how to have my hair etc, it would be classed as controlling, and I don’t see this as any different. Expecting employees to be clean and smart should be the limit in my book!

Thank you, there is a range of opinions here, too. I have met the CEO at interview and he didn't mention anything, either.

But I will probably play it safe; while the red really suits me, maybe it's more time to look like a grown-up?

The role is very customer-facing; I am working in an academy of a small MAT. It's for the perceived fairness of enforcing the dress code with the pupils; but in my current acadey, the opinion is that staff are adults and therefore a different dress code applies.

It's for the perceived fairness of enforcing the dress code with the pupils;

That context makes a lot of sense and I actually quite like it.