Would you change your look for your employer?

[Mondkind]

Long story short, I am in a managerial position at my current work place and have successfully interviewed for another managerial position elsewhere. Not the same job, but more of a side-step than a promotion iyswim.

I have bright red hair and an ankle tattoo, which was visible throughout the interview day. No one mentioned my looks all day. HR have just sent me my contract and the staff dress code (among other documents). It blatantly states in there that unnatural hair colours and visible tattoos are strictly forbidden and subject to disciplinary procedures.

I'm a bit taken sad to see it go, but nevertheless, I have booked myself in with a hairdresser to neutralise my colour and will cover up my tattoo with opaque tights and trousers/ socks.

Friends have commented that I shouldn't have to let go of my individual looks for an employer as it is removing part of my identity - especially as they wanted me to work for them knowing fully well that I sport a more alternative look.

I think for the sake of £45,000 a year and my dream job I can overlook this and just use coloured hair accessories/ fake streaks and flash my ankles when I'm not at work.

What do you think?

I think it helps to blend a little i worked in the City 80s/90s and after a break liberal publuc sector. I go with the flow.

Would I change

No. I am quite fierce about it too. I have bright pink hair, lots of it. My current employers don’t mind(in fact it’s almost part of the package in one of them!) but if I were to go look for another job and they asked me to dye it I wouldn’t take he job.

I’d cover up tattoos grudgingly

I would check how much they actually care before you change - we have all sorts of things in our HR docs and handbooks that we don't actually enforce or care about!

I have my tattoo on show whilst at work. Sort of. It’s on the inside of my wrist so whilst I wear a watch and a collection of bracelets unless I wore a glove or sleeves pulled right over my hands it’s visible.

But it’s small. And discrete.

I’m client facing in my role and the expectation is that I’m business casual most days. Business smart if we go to meet clients. Generally speaking I can get away with sandals, and in winter skinny jeans and a blouse.

I do think that being too casual would affect my ability to do my job. I could in theory do my job in my pyjamas. But I’d probably feel too relaxed/comfortable and wouldn’t be in “work mode”

I'd drop HR a line asking how strictly the dress code is enforced

Ex school staff, and as a parent I have massive issues with school staff looking anything other than professional. By that I mean, natural hair colours, no visible tattoos, piercings, excessive jewelry, etc. Children do not like the perception of unfairness. I can still think back to my school days with one of two 'hippyfied' teachers and thinking 'wtf does she think she is, pulling me up on my uniform'.

I think we all conform in some way.

I would go to work in my running gear or pjs if I could get away with it, but I wouldn’t escape the eagle eye of the power-people.

I would check with their HR person. If they interviewed you with tattoos and red hair but didn’t mention the dress code before making a job offer, it sounds like they are not bothered, but I would check.

I'd check before changing it - red is one of the few unnatural colours that I've found employers to be more flexible with.

I had half black, half blue hair when I interviewed for my current job. I didn't get it, thought "fuck it" & went fully blue. Three months later the job became available again and I was offered it.

Our dress code doesn't specifically mention unnatural hair colours but there's a catch all statement about presentation and it reflecting on the organisation (NHS). My manager basically made it clear that my contract would not be renewed if my hair stayed blue, so I had to dye it. I still miss it three years later. I think they must have forgotten about my hair colour in the period between interview and hire.

I have a borderline unnatural orange-red now, which doesn't seem to cause an issue. One of our senior staff has bright red hair.

Our offficial dress code says no toes out. Doesn’t stop everyone, boss and me the deputy boss doing just that in the heat of summer, and other women at sites across the country which are part of the same group.

I would tone down to start with and then see how it pans out and what others get away with etc...

NewYearNewMe18
I agree to a point.
As a teacher I can't be arsed having 'but you can wear nail varnish and earrings it's so unfaaaiiirrrrr' discussions.

But, I think the way some staff dress isn't professional. I look at some staff and think they look a mess, especially some female staff in the summer who think that any summery casual clothing is ok (whilst the rest of us are in professional dress and students are in uniform).

I hate the 'but what difference does clothes make' argument from adults and students. It's petulant.

What you look like doesn’t affect your ability to carry out a role.

Agreed. However, it can affect how you are perceived by others you encounter in the course of your work; in this case, school pupils, and possibly their parents.

Being judged on your appearance, especially where you have made a conscious choice about your appearance, may be unfair, but people do it All. The. Time.

I’d simply go for a more natural tone of red - so you keep the general theme and cover the tattoos at work.

I think 'unnatural hair colours' is a bit vague and questionable. In your case obviously you've got bright red hair because you like it looking 'unnatural', but how about someone who has hair that's obviously dyed but is supposed to look natural, like Paul McCartney or Elton John? You could really cause offence if you told someone like that to change their unnatural hair colour.

I would check how much they actually care before you change - we have all sorts of things in our HR docs and handbooks that we don't actually enforce or care about!
I agree with this.

Work is a compromise.i give up my free time for financial remuneration, I have work attire appropriate to my role
It’s no biggie,it just depends are you willing to make a specific compromise

Certain companies have certain expectations and if you want that job you conform.

^This

Honestly? No I wouldn’t and if they required me to the job wouldn’t be for me.

I’ve worked in a “traditional” firm in an industry and they didn’t require tattoos to be covered or facial piercings to be removed, they were more bothered about capability.

My company had the same code. I dyed my bright red hair to bright pink one day. The day before a 'big' meeting. I walked in and my managing director looked at me and went 'trust you'! And that was it. (Admittendly it wasn't supposed to be pink- I had a hair disaster!!)

But appearance DOES afffect many people's job. in plenty of customer-facing and social kind of professions, the client you are trying to provide a service comes to you or to the company looking for such service, or for personal or professional advice. many people have their own problems and concerns and they don't want to have to be faced with someone else's attempt at uniqueness. For instance, when I go to the psychologist or the GP, or to a mortgage advisor, I want the focus to be on myself and fixing my problems. I don't really want my attention to be distracted by a supposed adult's rainbow-coloured hair and 45 facial piercings which are needed to show his/her identity. There are some (few) jobs where asserting the employee's identity may be useful, however in my opinion, in most of them it is about the client and the service. Achieving certain homogeneity on the part of the employees is part of that purpose. It gives a united front for the company and transmits the message that any of the employees is equally competent.

And everyone knows we shouldn't judge, however most times when I see a 40 or 50 something person with bright pink hair and facial piercings I can't help but feeling a bit sorry for them. It used to be teenagers who used extreme body and facial changes to try to show how unique they were. Now facebook is full of middle-aged people (especially women, unfortunately) covered in tattoos, pouting and showing off purple and pink hair. Methinks they try too much.

It used to be teenagers who used extreme body and facial changes to try to show how unique they were. Now facebook is full of middle-aged people (especially women, unfortunately) covered in tattoos, pouting and showing off purple and pink hair. Methinks they try too much

I’ve HAD mine since I was a teenager. No ideas of rebellion though, just like the look. It would be far more effort to change it

Ex school staff, and as a parent I have massive issues with school staff looking anything other than professional. By that I mean, natural hair colours, no visible tattoos, piercings, excessive jewelry, etc. Children do not like the perception of unfairness. I can still think back to my school days with one of two 'hippyfied' teachers and thinking 'wtf does she think she is, pulling me up on my uniform'.

This annoys me. She thinks she’s the teacher. Because she is.

FWIW I always wear fairly conservative, smart clothes to work as that suits my teaching style/personality. But I don’t, for example tuck my shirt in or wear a blazer. The rules for teachers are not the same as the rules for pupils- that’s not how a hierarchical structure works.

For example, I teach in a room where pupils take their shoes off. I don’t always take mine off. Because-

1. One pair of shoes that have not been playing football on the field at lunchtime do not make as much mess as 30 pairs that have.
2. I can police the cleanliness of my shoes in a way I can’t the pupils.
3. I don’t always want too and I am the adult!

If a pupil is rude enough to point out the perceived ‘inequality’ I point out that I am also not wearing a tie but it’s ok because I am over 18 and I do have a PGCE certificate with my name on.

I have bright pink hair (sometimes red or other colours etc) and I wouldn't change that for a job ideally. I've had it for about 18 years now on and off. It's just a part of me now. I'd take piercings out and cover tattoos but would not get rid of my bright hair. I have toned it down a bit for work in the past (eg a dark plum), but wouldn't go back to natural

It used to be teenagers who used extreme body and facial changes to try to show how unique they were. Now facebook is full of middle-aged people (especially women, unfortunately) covered in tattoos, pouting and showing off purple and pink hair. Methinks they try too much

I’ve HAD mine since I was a teenager. No ideas of rebellion though, just like the look. It would be far more effort to change it

Lol exactly - those teenagers are now those middle aged women - we grew up! And funnily enough, my tattoos didn't fall off when I hit 25 (quite the opposite, they had lots of babies!), Some of my piercings disappeared but in all honesty some, like my nose, I have had for nearly 25 years and unless it becomes a specific topic of conversation, I forget it's there.

Just for the record, I did check with HR and also with my future direct line manager whether my hair was going to be an issue before I got sent the dress code. Both said they didn't know and then proceeded to tell me how lovely I looked and how the way I had my hair tied looked very professional despite the colour.

I'm honestly torn; I have had my hair like this for a very long time and it certaily suits me better than any other colour I've had over the years.

Funnily enough parents and pupils never had an issue with my looks, even when I had to pull pupils up on theirs on occasion. I dress professionally, wear sensible jewellery at work and don't change that, even for dress-down days.

I think appearance is like speech. We have different registers based on the expectations of the place / people and our own desire to portray certain meanings, whether those meanings are 'professional', 'relaxed', 'approachable', 'party animal', 'funny', 'fun to be around' or whatever. Not just for work, but out with friends, with the family, etc.

I wouldn't speak to my kids as I speak to my friends (e.g. the occasional swear word and more adult topics), and I wouldn't speak to my close family as I would to my boss (e.g. moans about work and relaxed attitude) and I don't speak in the same way to my best friend and the mean neighbor. I think appearance is the same, I dress in one way at home when I'm alone, in another way if I have guests for my child birthday's party, and in another way if I'm going out for drinks. It's accomodating my desire to be perceived in a certain way plus the expectations of others. That said, in many places there is some flexibility despite what the official handbook says, specially if they have seen you. I would not change hair yet, I'd contact the person who interviewed you and ask, they might be perfectly fine with it despite whatever head office say, or don't mind red hues as opposed to green or pink. Do it via email so you can have something in writing.

I find puzzling this "I wouldn't change for a job". You don't need to change, you are who you are. But certain industries have a dressing code and if you want to work there, you need to comply or negotiate. Nobody forces you to work there. You would be required to wear a uniform in some sectors, for H&S you would be required to remove piercings (like certain NHS jobs), for some you need to tie and cover your hair back (like food preparation or surgery), for some you require safety shoes and it wouldn't matter if you build your identity around piercings, some clothing style, etc.

That said, I do think the rule is ridiculous and I think things as hair colour and tattooed shouldn't be part of a dress code. I would scrap that. But I would also relax the uniform rules for students. I would make it more like smart - casual business code and offer more choices for uniform. I know an academy that is doing that, allowing any item as long as it's black and follows a business smart casual code. Kids have lanyards with the school ID cards but nothing else has a logo. I'd scrap ties as well. Very few industries requires them in the dress code nowadays.

Anyway, I digress. I understand the rule, I think it's wrong, but I'd accept it if I wanted to work there (checking first that it would apply to me, since I passed the interview!)

I think the idea of having to have a certain look for work archaic. But unfortunately if they have the rules you kind of have to go with it. Not worth giving up on a good job with a good wage for a look. However you get neutral hair then gradually alter and see what kind of limits there is. Maybe a strong but not luminous red for e.g.