To be SO pissed off about this?

[spiral4940]

Since we moved in together, me and my partner have a joint account to pay the rent, bills, and food. We put a set about in every month, and have our own separate accounts to buy things for ourselves, including meals out, treats, clothes etc etc.

We budget about £40 a week for food. I checked our bank statement today and saw he spent £25 on the joint account in Asda a few days ago, but I don't remember him bringing any food back. I've confronted him and he said he spent it on fizzy drinks, cakes, and paid for his mum's shopping?!

I'm fuming! If I was going to buy any of these things I would put it on MY card, not the joint account. I don't see why I should pay for these things, or his mum's shopping?? I've used the joint account here and there for household items when he's not been there, only about £3-4, and he's questioned me about this so I'm really annoyed about it.

He doesn't see the issue. ugh

Simple. Don't buy any food out of your own money and when he moans about it tell him this is what happens when he spends all the money in the joint account.

Alec - and what happens if they put ALL the money into the joint account and OP'S partner spends 60% of it ALL on his mum leaving them with only 40% for EVERYTHING? Then they're in even more dire straits!

No - if there's a risk OP'S partner likes playing "mr largesse" without thought of how they're going to EAT for the rest of the week/month then putting all the eggs in one basket is the worst thing op can do.

Op - how long have you been living together?

Does he have any debt?

I had a joint account with my ex which everything went into and out of. I naively thought that's just what married couples did (this was way before mn even existed).

Ex was an irresponsible bloody nightmare! Would spend without thinking and just assume I'D be the one happy to go without just so we could eat and pay the most essential bills! He had huge debt he'd never told me about too which caught up to him.

He also liked playing mr generosity - always paying if we went out for a meal with his parents, rounds of drinks for 'mates' when on a night out where the favour was rarely returned...

Our first Christmas after we married we couldn't even afford a few extra food treats let alone a Christmas dinner!

At that point I did put my foot down and tell him he had to stop showing off with money we didn't have!

If the op can afford it , next week when the joint account is topped up, instantly spend 20 on something for you. Then you will know whether the relationship has a future or not. But his chasing up on 3 or £4 is a very bad sign.

Joint account doesn't cover food for us. Ours does bills, school fees etc. Stuff that is a fixed amount more or less.

I don't want to be on a budget when I shop for 6-8 people. Plus entertaining. Could you rethink how shopping happens?

When I was on a low income, this would have been a very big deal for me. OP, YANBU. He’s essentially misappropriating earmarked funds.

He’s essentially misappropriating earmarked funds.

FGS! He's not a minister of a government department.

Ok, Poutine (offensive name, by the way: how many murders so far?):bicker about terminology and carry on missing the point.

Ok sure . I see your knowledge of cuisine is similar to your knowledge of history...

No, I got your tawdry pun. And if you knew anything about contemporary history you’d be ashamed to refer to that murderous asshole. Even as a joke. Opposition gunned down in cold blood: bloody hilarious.

I would hand him £15 and ask him how he planned to feed you both for the week on it.