Granny Vs Grandma - WIBU?

[CherryTangfastics]

When DS, who is now 3.8, was born DM asked my MIL what she wanted to be known as. This was before we had even left the hospital. MIL said she wanted 'Granny'. DM said 'I wanted that'. So MIL suggested Granny S and Granny M. DM thought that would be too complicated and agreed to be called 'Grandma'.

It has been that way even since. Even though DM lives abroad half the year, DS chats to her on Skype/WhatsApp all the time and is fully aware she is 'Grandma'. DS has continued to called MIL 'Granny' but sometimes mixes the names up.

Fast forward to last month when we are on a week long family holiday all together. After we arrive home I'm on speakerphone to MIL and DS asks me if it's 'Granny'? I say yes and she replies 'I don't know where he's got this Granny business from, I'm Grandma'. I refer to the hospital story and remind her who's who etc. It's like after a week of hearing my DM being called 'Grandma' she suddenly wants that title. DM also heard the conversation and wasn't impressed.

Now every time DS says 'Granny' to MIL she corrects him which makes him upset as he knows he's not wrong. DH overheard her the other day and asked what's going on. I explained and he said she can't do that. I said you need to have a word as it's messing with DS's head but of course he won't. Today DS started calling DM 'Granny' and she's not happy

Sorry if this is a boring/long one, but MIL is starting to grate and I'm getting it on both sides. Surely MIL is BU and things should stay as they are?

Oh bloody hell, she’s being ridiculous. It seems so minor but it really really isn’t. After two years he can’t change. Has she genuinely forgotten or is she being awkward? My kids ended up just using names anyway as it all got a bit complicated (they have great-grandparents and step-grandparents, so a bit confusing all round) would your MIL accept that instead?

We both wanted to be Nanny, so I'm Nanny(my name) and the other one is Nanny(her name). No confusion there.

She is being ridiculous! Your son could call both of them GrannyGrandma..

I think she's being awkward she has form. It's been almost 4 years! I'm conscious of it now as DS2 is due soon.

Culturally, for us, using first names is a complete no no and seen as disrespectful so that's not an option

We had two granny’s - each were called granny (location where they lived) and then just granny when we were with them. I thought this was totally normal as a child.

Same as Blostma

That’s why I’m Nanasue

We had two granny’s

Same but I had 2 grandma s and 2 grandads. Never knew calling them different names was a 'thing' until I came to Mumsnet. I would just go with whatever the grandparents wanted and not be bothered if it was the same or different.

It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things OP.

Granny Island and Granny Mainland?

YANBU.

Granny Island and Granny Mainland?

this was my first thought too.. ahhh, what has become of me...

Telll Granny that your DS has been very upset and tearful at the name change, thinking he is being naughty when he isn’t etc. Really guilt her and make it clear that when the new child is here you don’t want them to be similarly confused- that she asked to be Granny, Granny is what she is, and you will be correcting her if she says it in front of DS again.

Nan-nan (DM surname), Nan-nan (MIL surname). Same with grandads. Same with my Nan and Grandad too. What's the problem??

How do you distinguish Grandads?

She's being unreasonable, DS will get confused at that young of an age and it needs to be sorted before DS2 is born; maybe sort a skype session out with both DM and MIL and clarify everything?

How do you distinguish Grandads?
Grandpa and Grandad?

We called ours big grandma & little grandma. Maybe there's something unflattering you could use...

I know there are ways wheezing, I was just wondering how OP did it.

I grew up with a Grandma and a Nanny but two Grandads.

Stupid fucking woman.

Oh god, I automatically thought of Granny Island and Granny Mainland too.

Is she’s being awkward or could it actually be that she is confused? I ask because my own DM says very odd things and remembers things that are blatantly false and then won’t listen to reason and refuses to be corrected - I’m sure it’s the beginning of dementia.

My DM is Grandma Shell
My MiL is Grandma Caz
Only one grandad and one Great grandad and they both get called grandad

Our mums are used to it. My twins are 4.2

I wanted to be granny - and my daughter in law decided her mum would be granny also. I thought it would be a problem, but my grandson, now aged 3, has made his own distinction without prompting. He now calls me ‘granny sassafras’ and her ‘granny Jennie’, totally his decision. Was never an issue..

DM is still resident here (UK) and just stays a few months abroad, in the sun, each year. When she's here we all live in the same city/place. DM is still here at the moment as DS2 is due.

Yes, we have a Grandpa and Granddad here!

She is being ridiculous caring so much what she is called but you should not let it wind you up. I'd just stay out of it and let DS and grandparents work out for themselves what they are called. If she is insistent on granny then that will be it.

Kids are very open minded so think it is daft when parents worry about them being "confused". Do you think DS is going to think they are the same person? He won't have any trouble understanding that two people can have the same name.

What’s granny mainland?