Going on a date night.... DD6?

[sparklydust]

Haven't been on a date night since DD (6) was 2 years old! DF offered to babysit and of course we jumped at the chance.

Last night DD started balling her eyes out saying she would miss me so much and doesn't want me to go, wants me to stay here with her and doesn't want to go to granddads. I felt awful and so guilty but at the same time, I really want to go? But worried about her....

She stopped this morning and was all fine about it again but now has burst into tears again saying the same thing. I've offered to FaceTime and even given her my favourite teddy to take but feel so bad however, really want some proper adult time with DH

So I guess I'm asking WWYD and AIBU to go despite the tears? Does that mean I'm a bad mum?!

Plus I'm all ready as we speak!

I'd go. She'll be safe and have fun with her grandfather.

I'd go.

Go! She'll be fine and you deserve a life outside of being a mum.

Of course you should go! She will be fine!

Go

Oh FGS I wouldn’t pander to that! She’s 6 not a baby, one night with you won’t kill her. Be firm and DO NOT cancel your date night or you’ll never be able to go out without her.
Has she not had a sleepover or babysitter at all in the last 4 years?

Of course you should go and enjoy yourself, you've not been out for 4 years!!

LOL Of course you're not a bad Mum! Go ahead with the plans, perhaps speak to your Dad during the evening to check in with her.

Have a lovely evening xxx

And also don’t FaceTime her, it’s one night!

She’s likely to stop crying fairly quickly - give your dad the heads up - but may start again when you get back!

Can he come to your house to sit, or does that defeat the purpose?

If you give in now she'll learn she gets her own way by kicking off. She will be fine.

Definitely go. She'll be fine. Do NOT FaceTime her while you are out it will cause chaos.

She needs to learn to be apart from you as this will be the first of many evenings out, won't it?!

Thanks all. I thought as much but guess I just needed to hear it reiterated

Also feel so guilty though

Go!

If she cries, she cries, she'll get over it and if she doesn't I'm afraid it's tough. You need a life and unfortunately she thinks it revolves totally round her. She needs to learn you can have a nice time without her and she can have a nice time without you, it's all part and parcel of growing up.

Have fun

Go. And make it a regular occurrence so she gets used to it. She's going to have to go to bed without you st some point.

And if you have any more DCs get them used to babysitters and sleeping over as early as possible.

You haven't been out with your DP in 4 years?????? Blimey

You have to just steel yourself. They can really get you with the crying. Just give her a hug and a kiss and tell her you'll see her later. She'll probably calm down shortly after you leave.

And for all those asking, nope! 4 years since our last night out together just the two of us!

Go. Don’t FaceTime. Have fun. She needs to learn to be self sufficient and you pandering to her won’t help her. She will be fine

Please go and enjoy! If you don’t go next this time, it’s going to be an ongoing battle.

Definitely definitely go!

Definitely go

Thank you all feel much better about it now, I've given DF a heads up. Going to go now so will let you know how I get on later this evening!

If you go you will feel guilty and she'll probably miss you

but ...

it's like ripping off a plaster !

She'll find out she was ok in the end, and you'll find out she was ok in the end and next time you want to go out it'll all be easier for everyone :) You can't not go out for another 10 years!

(makes note to go out with DH soon. with us it's not as bad - about 7 or 8 months since the last outing just the two of us - but it's still too long)