Was I unreasonable to post a picture of this man online?

[IsitaStorminanInstaTeaCup]

For context, I regularly attend a church with my DP - and it's fairly old school I guess if that's relevant. I was at an event the other week with quite a few other church people including ministers, and afterwards my friend sent me a photo of me, DP and one of aforementioned ministers standing in a group. She had told us to be 'casual' in it, and the resulting pic was both nice and amusing to me - I'm doing a mid-conversation pose, and a minister is with us. So I posted it on Instagram, with a caption like, 'my favourite informal snap from...' blah blah. Today, I find out through a garbled message that DP has heard from the minister, and the minister wants it to be deleted from my account.

I'm a bit baffled, but also massively embarrassed that this man has somehow tracked the photo down and asked for it to be deleted He definitely doesn't have Instagram, my account is private...I suppose he heard from a church acquaintance, but it's hardly a dreadful picture! Argh...was I very unreasonable? :(

And a private account (whereas our situation involves an open You Tube channel under the person's name.)

Following the legal discussion here with interest.

Yes, thank you OVienna, however, in general it irritates me that people think they have 'right' to do this. It is simply wrong and rude to not ask first.

The OP is not embarrassed AT ALL. She likes the photot OF HER. End of.

This could also get picked up by a newspaper.

It could have far reaching effects on her DH.

She di not need to post, she should has accepted his request and simply taken the photo down.

Why ask AIBU? When you clearly don't think so?

I think neither the OP or the minister are in the wrong.
It's generally fine to post pictures of other adults on the internet but if someone asks you to remove a picture of them then you should do so (regardless of the reason). You don't have to but it's the nice thing to do.

Sorry, keys on my computer are sticking!

Schools are entitled to make restrictions about who takes photographs on their premises. That's not the same as there being any restriction on taking photographs in public places - or actually from public places. There's no restriction, for example, on standing outside a school playground and taking photos of the children inside the playground, although anybody doing it persistently and without good reason is likely to be prosecuted for causing a breach of the peace.

Google it if you don't believe me, it's well established law.

If your account is private; someone has either republished the photo somewhere else; or (more likely), told him about or showed him the photo.

Delete it; because he's in it and doesn't want to be. Then forget about it.

OP it is in your best interests to ask mumsnet to delete this thread.

Before you know it, it will be in the DM. They LOVE this stuff and then it WILL affect your DH.

can't say you're coming across as an ideal wife for a vicar.

delete this thread OP seriously.

You come across very badly and run the risk of it 'escalating'

I thought I recognised you earlier, OP, from another thread. That one went a similar way, lots of faux eyelash-fluttering and passive-aggressiveness when called out as being wrong. Perhaps there's just a lot of it about.

I haven't posted a thread in about 6 months, the previous faux eyelash fluttering was not me

Why does the thought of not being an ideal wife for a vicar amuse you so much, op?
Frankly, you sound a bit of an idiot

I thought it was quite funny - the idea that that the ideal vicar's wife would probably not even have Instagram, or if she did would use it post pictures of scenery and crosses. Sorry if it saddened you though!

You’re just reinforcing it with every post...

I was freaked out by the possibility of it affecting DP, but have calmed down a bit on that front now - it was just the initial weirdness of getting the very out of the blue message from him (dp I mean)

Reinforcing what?

Look....at the end of the day it's none of your damn business why he wants it taking down.

Do you have so little respect for a fellow human being that your desire to have a nice photo on your instagram is more important than his request for it not to be there?

He doesn't have to explain himself to you. He has asked for you to remove it. The mature thing to do is.....remove it, graciously.

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

If you marry into the clergy, you are effectively taking on a 24/7 role.
Just like if you are a teacher, you don't stop being that job title because it is 10.30 pm on a Friday night, or because you're doing the supermarket shop.

I would get rid of the SM accounts.

Daily Mail is toxic.

No, OVienna, it is not the OP’s photo, it is someone else’s photo that OP decided they looked good in and so put it on their account. I don’t know why they just don’t take it down. Really rude.

OP I don't think posting the pic was that bad a thing to do, I am sure lots of people post pics that happen to have randomers lurking in the background. What is the difference really? However your reluctance to remove it when requested to do so is very odd. I appreciate you have done so now, but I don't really understand why you made such a drama of it.

Under the new GDPR rules he had a right to privacy. If someone asks you to take a picture down you must take it down even if they initially gave consent. The fact that it got back to him proves it's not as private as you thought it was. That's his wish and his right no matter how nice you think the photo is.