Was I unreasonable to post a picture of this man online?

[IsitaStorminanInstaTeaCup]

For context, I regularly attend a church with my DP - and it's fairly old school I guess if that's relevant. I was at an event the other week with quite a few other church people including ministers, and afterwards my friend sent me a photo of me, DP and one of aforementioned ministers standing in a group. She had told us to be 'casual' in it, and the resulting pic was both nice and amusing to me - I'm doing a mid-conversation pose, and a minister is with us. So I posted it on Instagram, with a caption like, 'my favourite informal snap from...' blah blah. Today, I find out through a garbled message that DP has heard from the minister, and the minister wants it to be deleted from my account.

I'm a bit baffled, but also massively embarrassed that this man has somehow tracked the photo down and asked for it to be deleted He definitely doesn't have Instagram, my account is private...I suppose he heard from a church acquaintance, but it's hardly a dreadful picture! Argh...was I very unreasonable? :(

Or he could just let it go

Yes, a lot of people do this but it is wrong. I get cross about tagging as well. In fact, I get fed up with all the photo taking anyhow. Its as if we are not living unless we have proof, here I am having a good time, here is my dinner. I see tourists all the time not enjoying the sites, just taking selfies. I want to be out and about looking ugly and not feeling self-conscious about it. If I don't see a photo of myself I don't care what I look like

I'm not sure why everyone is saying you have to ask people's permission to put pictures of them on social media? It may be a nice courtesy, but legally there is nothing to stop me photographing any of you and your children in a public place and plastering it all over Facebook.

OP, it doesn't really matter why he doesn't want it on the internet - just take it down and apologise.

If he doesn't use social media he probably doesn't understand you can make accounts private. My mum doesn't like having her photos on social media because she says she doesn't want strangers seeing what she's doing even if it's on a private fb or ig account because she doesn't really understand how you can allow only certain people to see photos. I wouldn't worry. Maybe explain it was private so you didn't think he'd mind but apologise and take it down.

I’m church leadership. I would also ask for it to be taken down, because I have various legal issues with people knowing where I work and worship etc. It wouldn’t affect your husbands calling though.

It's actually a very nice photo, I don't really want to take it down I really wish there was an option to crop him out... (I do like the idea of popping an emoji over his face/ministerial collar.)

Obviously I will get rid of it, though not until I've finished work/had a lunch break away from my desk. I want to know why someone would tell him about it though!

I think of posting a picture on a locked-down account, i.e. only viewable by friends and family, as being no different to showing photos around friends and family as we used to. Why would anyone think different?

Save the photo onto your phone and crop it there.

Or the minister has a secret

I'm not sure why everyone is saying you have to ask people's permission to put pictures of them on social media? It may be a nice courtesy, but legally there is nothing to stop me photographing any of you and your children in a public place and plastering it all over Facebook.

Legally, there is no reason not to have an affair, badmouth your friends behind their backs or say unkind things about other people's children, but I think most people agree that they aren't the 'right' things to do. Reducing everything to whether it's legal or not is not a particularly helpful way to approach personal relationships.

As far as I know you actually CANNOT take photos of children under 11 and post the on the internet without the parents consent.

You should also take this photo down immediately if someone has asked you.

YABVVVU as he has his reasons, whatever they may be.

What is wrong with some people?

I don't really want to take it down

Yes, we can see that by the fact that you posted on here about it instead of actually doing it. Not as massively embarassed as you are claiming at all, are you?

If you have a physical (printed) photo it's only available to the people in that room at that time - not widely available to all the person's friends at once!

Well said DoJo

Anyway, just for clarity I am NC with my family, they have never met my DC and my father found a photo of DD on her school website, lifted it and put it on his blog online.

It was taken down immediately I complained as she was under 11 and he had not asked for consent.

Don't be a dick. TAKE IT DOWN. Stop posting about it too.

I agree with Fishes. On a private account, how different is it from having the picture printed and framed on your wall, or in your photo album, when you think about it?
Maybe this might be a good moment for the minister and blabbing friend to educate themselves about social media, privacy settings, etc and maybe even set up a nice insta account for their church? Social media isn't going to go away any time soon. As a minister, he has a pretty public job, he must be used to being out and about and having his face seen by members of the public, it's not like he's a hermit or he can claim he doesn't like being seen in public.

He doesn't want his photo on the bloody internet. That is his right.

Why should I stop posting about it?

(I'm on lunch now though, so it has gone. Sigh.)

Genuine question, why is it 'VVVVVVU' to have posted this picture to my private Instagram account? I didn't share it on a blog or set it as my public profile picture or somesuch. A small audience of people I know have seen it.
Honestly, I don't contact someone every time I post a picture including them (e.g. friends, my sister, part of a strangers face in the background of a London photo). Should I have rung him up or something?

Would it be his right to stop me printing that picture out (it's nice, as I said) and popping it in a frame? (Obviously I wouldn't do that because it would look like a massive FU, and just be generally horrible)

to answer

I'm utterly stupid Nooo

NO IT WOULD NOT BE ON THE INTERNET SO WOULD BE FINE.