AIBU to ask you what you’re funniest autocorrect error is?

[ConfusedWife1234]

Mine corrected were old to werewolf yesterday. I think there must have been also a spelling mistake... because when I write it now it does not correct it.

Whenever I arrive anywhere after driving a long distance, I quickly send my wife a text saying "I'm here" so she knows I've arrived safe.

One day I got a text back saying "Well that's disappointing..."
Feeling hurt, I then saw that my previous message had autocorrected to "I'm heterosexual" (I guess I typed hete instead of here)

We are a same sex couple.

My client asked me to bring the pubic documents to the meeting rather than the public documents!

That's a brilliant response from your wife TaWi! 😂

I'm sure I'm probably on a watch list somewhere, since my name gets changed to 'bomb' a lot.

I told I guy I saw messaging after meeting on on line dating that I am a big David Cameron fan. I typed Mitchell but my phone felt it knew better!!

I asked my friend if we were meeting Yoda instead of today. We met, but didn't see yoda.

Just remembered we had a client who frequently emailed us about "incomplete statues". Not being stonemasons we realised he meant statuses.

I had printed out a will for a client to come in and sign. They amusingly pointed out that instead of putting “executor” I had put “executioner” whoops!

I offered a particularly irate customer a "special disco cunt" instead of a discount. Not my finest hour.

DS recently moved into his own house. He was sending me regular text updates about the endless procession of tanker lorries that were visiting the pumping station opposite his house.
The next morning:
Me: are the workmen still there?
DS: yes, and now they’re dogging!

Once said I would be bringing the cava round soon. Got changed to I would be bringing the cavalry round

special disco cunt ... my sides

e mails to a work colleague called leeshia, Dear lesbian, every time!! she laughed thank goodness.

A new one just now, see-through airport, instead of Heathrow

Crying laughing at some of these!!!

DH is working away, he just text me to say and I quote."We worked late today, now I'm going out with a couple of the other guys on the team as we can't face the four walls of the hotel room again, one is Spanish and the other is Insane, skype later, love"

I suspect the guy might be Indian, Indian DH, you plonker!

Voice to text to husband saying I was shaving dingleberries from Archie's ass. The text came out that I was shaving dingleberries from our Jesus.

I really hope Archie has four legs and a tail!!

I am not cool. My friend J is not cool. We are both in a book club. I once texted her "Hi J! Are you going to cool club tonight?"

I texted my local farmer, who often seeks out specialty meats for me if he has time. I’m careful to make sure the drop point is somewhere convenient for him, since it’s a favour. He’s sweet, and very introvert. And I’ve long suspected he holds a tiny torch for me, although he’s fairly scared by my loud extrovert personality!

I managed to text ‘So, Brian, any chance of one of those tasty fucks of yours at the market this weekend?’ 🦆

Made even worse by the fact that I didn’t catch it. I just turned up at the market, gave him a hug and asked did he have anything special tucked away for me? I swear his whole face and neck were so red they were practically purple. I thought he was having heart failure.

Only saw my original message a week later.

Lol Cannot stop laughing.

@LinoleumBlownapart OMG! i have been laughing so hard at Fizzy girls & Arsecream that i had tears rolling down my face and actually got a stitch, best autocorrect EVER!

You win the thread i think 😂

When I was younger my ex told me he would meet me later, because he had to ‘wank’ the dog first... he did not find it as funny as I did!

I asked DP to pick up some chicken breast for dinner.

He said he might struggle to find a chicken breastfeeding but he'd give it his best shot!

I think have the most surreal one, as mine told my son I was going to Azerbaijan on a magpie.