AIBU to ask you what you’re funniest autocorrect error is?

[ConfusedWife1234]

Mine corrected were old to werewolf yesterday. I think there must have been also a spelling mistake... because when I write it now it does not correct it.

Text my DH to tell him I'd just been laid once. I meant paid. His reply was, 'that's nice, but did you get enough for the food shop or do we need to pay in a pile of 2p's again?'

My phone auto corrects my husband's name (kev) to Jeb, now a joke with my best friend that Jeb is my secret lover

Jeb's a technicolour sheep in Minecraft. I kind of hope he's not your secret lover jmh 😂

Ah yes, and the conversation with a friend about Manchester being off the east coast of Africa...

Obvs Madagascar there...

I have 2 good ones

Commented on a Facebook forum about contraception and stated that I used mittens!!! I obviously meant mirena but it caused no end of lols for everyone reading imagining mittens as a form of birth control!

I also text my husband asking if he wanted to go to the park and take our willies 😂 I meant wellies

I was texting a friend to tell her the local had an offer on unlimited coke.

Changed to unlimited cock

I briefly dated a man called Rich, came up in my phone as "Shag"... seemed rude not to!

I remember at university submitting an essay about Eschatology (the end of the world/death/final judgement) and had refered to Satan as Santa all the way through. Proof read it and did not even realise. Thank goodness my tutor found it funny! Or maybe I was onto something and Santa will be the downfall of humanity!

Texted my ex once that there was veejay in the fridge instead of cheese.

And somehow once when my mum asked me where I'd left something in her house instead of saying "on top of the microwave" it came up with "on top of Khrushchev".

Mine changed Ho Chi Minh City to hot semen city. I work in Vietnam.

I am visually impaired and I used to Tatian, and I remember a few weeks ago it put on here I was teaching English on my knees on YouTube. I had to explain that I was not into Fifty Shades of Grey.

It constantly calls anybody by the name of Beth Bitch.

Another memorable one that I posted about it on here a few weeks ago was British dyslexia Association. It turned it into no need to dress in British, just need to heat up my husband.

Oh and one more,tabouleh salad at Waitrose became taboo lady solid.

Nasturtiums to masturbators. Try it on an android phone keyboard.

I once sent a text to my teenage son, who was at home with his friends. He'd said earlier that he wanted to make coke floats, so I wrote "Shall I bring fizzy drinks and icecream?". I was all fumbling fingers as I was trying to push a supermarket trolley and control a toddler at the time, so what I sent was "Shall I bring fizzy girls and arsecream?".

He immediatly sent "WTF MUM?". In my defence the word arsecream was programmed into my phone due to teasing my DH over a horse incident, but I have no idea how my phone changed drinks to girls!! a bit unfortunate that one was.

Changed pop corn to sex corn when texting dh. Now if I go supermarket I ask if he wants any sex corn picking up.

My friend went to the doctor for a health review when he joined a new surgery. He sent me a message saying the doctor thought he was fine but just needed to make 'some lulu frustule changes'. Or lifestyle changes if you will.......

Texting one friend about another to say the friend had cancelled. Except the phone changed it to cancer. Had to send a very hasty correction.

I went on a spa weekend with friends and we had a amazing room similar to the suite I had for my wedding night.

My mum text to ask if I had arrived and I text saying 'it's great we have a room like I had on my wedding night!!' Only it somehow auto corrected 'a room' to 'action' cue a text from my mum saying 'action like on your wedding night???!?!'

Sympathising with a friend over her toddler’s car sickness, autocorrect changed “any more projectile vom?” to “any more projectile come?”.

Now that WOULD have been a traumatic car journey!

Not a funny one, but why does my phone autocorrect PB (in the sense of personal best time for races) to ON?

And anything with an apostrophe like can't or won't gets changed to Can't or Won't. Why the upper case?

Nasturtiums. No, Donkey, just yours! 😂

Crying at fizzy girls and arsecream! Is that called Progressive Parenting? 😂

Many moons ago I worked in accounts and one supplier kept sending invoices without a purchase order. So one day after repeatedly telling them they needed one of these I emailled saying " I cannot process your invoices without PORN!" Stupid autocorrect changed PO to PORN - I literally never lived that down.

In another sales job the reps kept emailing me asking to do this, that and the other, to which I sent an email to the heads of each sales division saying " Im sorry I wont be able to help I am far too busty" .... instead of busy......

Really need to proof read more

Mum: morning love, what are you and baby up to today?
Me: we’re going to the park to see the dicks

To be fair, there are loads of dicks in our park! 😂

Many years ago on a second OLD date, my text that was supposed to be
"Would you like to just have a meal or shall we go out afterwards?"
became:
"Would you like to just have a neck or shall we in out afterwards?"