AIBU to ask which are the “unmanly“ skills you want to teach your boys

[ConfusedWife1234]

The cooking thread made me wonder: which are the untypical skills you want to teach your boys?
DH can sew and I think it is really useful... he can sew far better than me... I hope he teaches the boys (and the girl) how to do it.

I’m a woman and I myself have no freaking clue how to operate the iron. I mean I put water in it and move it about on the clothes but it does buggar all for the creases.

no skills should be unmanly if they involve looking afteronesself.

I agree, no such thing. I teach my boys and girls both the same skills! From DIY to baking.

Op tell that to all the men in the forces who can and have to sew, cook, clean and maintain everything. Tell them they're unmanly

Regarding dancing, my little boy does dance classes and he loves it. There aren’t many boys that go. He does dancing at school too and it’s mainly girls there too. I never thought of dancing as being an “unmanly” thing at all, but from my experience not as many boys do it. Oh well, he stands out I suppose!

I stopped reading at line one... how is cooking unmanly? 🤔. I do all the cooking in our household (and no, I’m not a stay at home dad) and also make my son and daughter help to cook. For humour sake I also do all of the ironing.

Cooking - I enjoy and am the better cook
Ironing - 3hours on a Saturday of watching a film, hurrah!

I’ll admit I don’t know how the washing machine or dishwasher work though 😁

OTOH can he still attend an adult dance class to meet women if he ALREADY CAN DANCE, he must hide the fact then...

You realise that professionals still attend several hours of class each day to keep their technique practised

I don't think of any physical, housey things as manly or unmanly; we have one child so he'll be taught how to grow up and be an independent adult who can keep his own home and look after himself.

For me it would be things that others have touched on here;

• teaching him that keeping families together by investing energy/time/emotion into relationships (eg, actually calling people, sending cards, buying presents, arranging parties, dinners, occasions etc) ISN'T just down to the females in the family as it seems to be in mine and the in-laws'.
• being an effective communicator which is as much about listening (not just hearing) as it is about talking, and treating your loved ones as equals who you can confide in and lean on instead of thinking you have to be the 'protector' who can't show any weakness.

Yes, I know there are plenty of men who are like this already but I can only go on my family's experiences and those are the things that are our (mens') issues .

I know one boy who at the age of 9 got shamed by his schoolmates out of playing the concert harp and switched to piano. Such a pity as he’d reached a good level.
So, as with girls, I think an instrument is a fundamental skill and a man who can sing clear and true is a joy (think Russian male voice choirs....)!

Some history in regards to knitting:

Knitting might seem like a female-oriented pastime these days, but during the Middle Ages, it was a craft that only men were allowed to perfect. They would spend six years doing so, allowed into guilds of knitters only after passing a rigorous exam. Professional, guilded knitters were responsible for an amazing amount of clothing well into the 16th century. Once the knitting machine was invented, though, it became something that men didn’t need to do any more and women could take up as a hobby.

So men have always knitted! I taught my son to quilt, and don't forget a lot of fashion designers are men.

But I confess I cannot get either of my son's to spend more than 10 minutes shopping for anything clothes wise. It's: See it. Pick it. Buy it. Done. Could be the first shop they go into. No idea if this is stereotypical.

My late father, who was born at the tail end of WWII, was excellent at ironing, mending etc, because he was a Naval officer and they were taught at college. The only reason I know how to iron in a crease is because he taught me how to do so (a skill I've used abut four times in my life, admittedly).

My mother, on the other hand, thinks irons are for killing wasps. She's very good with plumbing, though, and I'm a dab hand at changing washers and fixing cisterns thanks to her.

The one skill I really wish my parents had taught me, though, was how to negotiate pensions.

In fairness, neither of them were accountants or IFAs, so I'll let that one slip.

Not sure why the OP is getting a hard time because it's clear what she means, not sure a disclaimer is actually needed.

Yes to emotional intelligence, Dp isn't great, mostly as his parents didn't find it necessary so I'm teaching DS.

Cooking and household chores in general, but it's DP who will teach him how to iron as I have no clue.

I also fix stuff even if I don't fancy figuring it out because I don't want him to pick up mummy cooks and daddy does DIY.

There is no such thing as an unmanly skill. Is there jobs you see as unwomanly too? Should I just leave my job now?

I’d say breastfeeding was pretty unmanly?The op put it the “unmanly” in quotes.
I thought this thread was just a chat about offering our sons a range of skills that defeat stereotypes. Those stereotypes do exist. We can’t work against the limits those stereotypes put on us and all our dcs if we pretend they are not there?

I know one boy who at the age of 9 got shamed by his schoolmates out of playing the concert harp and switched to piano. Such a pity as he’d reached a good level.

A concert harp is just an undressed piano.