AIBU to ask which are the “unmanly“ skills you want to teach your boys

[ConfusedWife1234]

The cooking thread made me wonder: which are the untypical skills you want to teach your boys?
DH can sew and I think it is really useful... he can sew far better than me... I hope he teaches the boys (and the girl) how to do it.

AIBU to think it is odd that many parents do not think twice before teaching their girls manly skills but shy away from teaching their sons female skills.

Choosing colours and patterns - for an outfit, or a home.

Sewing!

I think it's odd that you think of any skills as 'manly' or 'unmanly'.

Being able to fix my car. Girls are better than boys at fixing cars. Boys are really good at doing the washing up and laundry too.

Blokes seem to be very good fashion designers and cooks too. I might sound a bit non-pc but I think girls our way better at admin.

But then I could be a real asshole in real life too.

@Pascall I do not think that the fact my dh can sew makes him less of a man... but isn‘t it a bit unusual a man can sew?

That 'unmanly' is bullshit.

Choosing colours and patterns? Do fuck off..

There’s no such thing as an “unmanly” skill. My boys can cook, clean, knit, swim, ride bikes, do the laundry, walk the dogs, basic diy (in NZ they get access to hammers, nails, wood and saws in kindy!). They’re learning how to budget (10 & 12, pocket money is a new thing for us) and how the household runs.

None of the above are the province of boys or girls.

er no. Is this a wind up? Of course men can sew. My dad taught me knitting, cooking, car maintenance and DIY. They were some of the skills he had that I was also interested in. Nothing odd about men having skills.

My boys are learning to sew, mow the lawn, wash up, put the bins out, wash up, do laundry, cook, put up shelves, clean a toilet, make a bed, basic first aid, and many many other things.

You know... All the basic things you need to be able to do to function as an adult, male or female.

I'll also teach them how to fold a fitted sheet, put down turf, put screenwash and oil in the car, and check the tyre pressure. I'll prob teach them how to drive too.

Single parent. Nobody else is going to teach them these things.

My DH can knit, I can’t. I hope DS picks it up because it’s a fun skill to have.

There are no “unmanly” skills.

isn‘t it a bit unusual a man can sew?

No. all domestic skills are common (or not) between all humans.

Mind you, even lots of the language being used here to suggest otherwise may be encouraging the idea that skills have a gender.
news.stanford.edu/2018/07/10/well-meaning-statements-can-spread-stereotypes-unintentionally/

Ok I know what you mean.

Im a single mum. I want my boys to know everything.

Ask all the men in the military if it’s unusual or unmanly for men to sew. They’re all there sewing badges to uniforms and ironing clothes to a crisp.

For any "unmanly" skill you can probably think of a manly man who makes a living from it! For example I'm sure Gordon Ramsay doesn't think cooking is unmanly!

I'm keen for DS to do ballet because my dad did it in his youth and he still has better legs than me! The physical conditioning required is much more intense than other sports that might be considered more masculine.

Military men are excellent seamstresses

sigh I just wanted to make small talk, never told my dh: you should not sew. It is unmanly, I just notice that it is uncommon for a man to sew. At least where I live. He does not feel stereotyped by me at all.

Unmanly my dp can crochet, knit and is better at sewing than me, surely these are just skills.

Cooking.

My partner can’t cook and nor can his friends. They’ve no idea about nutrition or feeding themselves or different cuisines.

Drives me mad. I remember most of my childhood memories being centred around my mum and I cooking.

OP just means what are skills traditionally thought of as X. Just light discussion...

It will sound way harsher than I mean but I want them to know when to keep their mouth shut.

I think it’s generally seen as unmanly to know when to stay quiet and just listen but that’s one of the most important skills in life. So many people miss so much by drowning everything out with the sound of their own voices.

I do not think it is true what you say about the military and sewing. I think they can do some basic sewing but they do not really learn do sew clothes there. What should it be good for? At least where I am from, dh served I‘ll have to ask him... he learned sewing from his dad, not from the military. Not sure if he ever did it while he served, never mentioned it.

I made an offhand comment the other day to a friend about signing our toddlers up to a dance class that had just started up, and I was quite taken aback when she said her DH would never allow their son to go to a dance class because they didn’t want “a gay” - this is an educated woman in her late 20s, and yes I am seriously considering whether I can continue to be friends with someone who has that attitude!

I agree that there shouldn’t be traditional gender based roles, but it does happen. However, we are keen as a family to integrate personal and shared responsibility of housework, regardless of gender.

My soon likes to help polish, hoover, sort the dishwasher out, load and unload the washer and dryer. He is only three and not good ANY of this yet, but it’s the little steps.

Sewing is a good one, as is baking 😋