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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people should make an effort to keep noise down in a hospital ward

97 replies

Booboostwo · 12/07/2018 20:18

I am not having the best of time as I am in hospital again with DD so perhaps I am being grumpy, so perfectly happy to be told I am BU.

We are in a small ward, just four beds but as it is a children’s hospital understandably every child has a parent stay with them as well. Patients are at different times in their recovery, some just out of operations, some about to be discharged so understandably some children are livelier than others but am I BU to think that everyone should make more of an effort to be a bit more considerate with noise?

The child in the bed next to us had five adults and two toddlers visiting all afternoon. The toddlers took it in turn to scream, which is what toddlers do, but why keep them in hospital for so long when there are so many adults available to take them home? This child was also discharged by the end of the afternoon so I don’t even understand why so many people needed to visit in hospital

The other bed has a child who is watching TV and playing games on full volume and I mean really, really loud. Why not use earphones or lower the volume of at least the games? The visitors for that bed are having shouting conversations to be heard over the TV. The noise was so loud my DD could not hear me trying to read a book to her sitting right by her bed.

Am I BU to think people should be more considerate of other in a small space where there are some really sick children?

OP posts:
rollingonariver · 12/07/2018 20:19

Yanbu. At all.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

MatildaTheCat · 12/07/2018 20:23

Talk to the staff if this happens tomorrow. Sounds horrid and so inconsiderate.

Hope you are both home and DD is better soon.

Original poster
Booboostwo · 12/07/2018 20:40

The nurses are lovely but incredibly overworked. I don’t think they’d have time to do anything even if they wanted to.

OP posts:
Jimmers · 12/07/2018 21:07

It’s a bug bear of mine that there seems to be little respect for others in & around hospitals. At the risk of sounding ancient, I remember when there used to be signs outside say “Quiet Please. Hospital”, and my
Mom drilled it in to me that there were poorly people who needed rest whenever we visited someone.
I work in a hospital and am astounded by visitors playing loud music in the car park, revving engines, people shouting & swearing in corridors etc.

Hope your little one’s better soon x

Mybabystolemysanity · 12/07/2018 21:10

YANBU at all.

I've just had a horrific time on maternity wards giving birth to DC2.

Dame in bed opposite insisting on watching Love Island on a tablet with no headphones, visitors till 11pm and basically never STFU for five days, yet I was the one told I was disturbing people because of crying in agony over breastfeeding pain. I'll never forgive that midwife.

Hope your little one makes a full.and speedy recovery, OP.

HyacinthsBucket70 · 12/07/2018 21:16

I was in recently, fortunately just overnight but in the bed opposite me, there was a young woman who spent from 7am onwards talking on her mobile....loudly. Her husband appeared at 10am, and sat next to her ON HIS PHONE the entire time shouting what tests she'd had etc, how serious it was..... blah blah blah. He constantly demanded she needed this, needed that....where was a Doctor, on and on and on. The noise he was making kept waking me up, I'd had no sleep after being admitted at 3am and I was in tears when DH came in at actual visiting time. She was discharged at 6pm as there was no obvious cause for her headache.................... she'd had a CT scan, lots of bloods and a lumbar puncture. For a bloody headache. I had one too from her shouting bloody husband.

I hope your little one is better soon OP, and I wouldn't have any hesitation in telling the nurses if the noise gets too much..... they're sadly only too used to dealing with it. Hospital used to be a place where people were ill..... now it's somewhere they tag themselves in at on FB and invite all their bloody noisiest relatives to come and join them at a constant bedside vigil Hmm.

Brigante9 · 12/07/2018 21:23

Please speak to the nurses if this happens again. It’s not fair on you.

I had a really shit night in A&E at the weekend in a bay, obs taken on the hour, staff stood having a social between the only two occupied bays! In a previous stay, the air bed next to me kept beeping to say it was falling, I had to keep asking the nurse to reset it, drove me mental.

MilkyMum23 · 12/07/2018 21:35

YANBU op - some people have no common sense whatsoever. Perhaps you could mention it to the head ward nurse in passing - at least then you've registered your discontent in some way. Disgusting behaviour. Hope your little one gets better soon.

mybabystole that sounds awful, you deserved better. Flowers

HopeClearwater · 12/07/2018 21:44

YANBU
People are no better in adult wards, even with very seriously ill patients nearby.
Flowers

SoapOnARoap · 12/07/2018 21:49

YANBU Flowers

Original poster
Booboostwo · 12/07/2018 21:53

The hospital is brand new and they chose to have little wards on purpose for social reasons. It’s our second visit here and I haven’t seen a single person talk to anyone else. I cannot believe that they could have had single rooms and didn’t.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 12/07/2018 23:24

Contact PALS and the duty matron.

callmeadoctor · 12/07/2018 23:44

Drives me mad!!! (Sadly it was the nurses making all the bloody noise last time I suffered this!

Original poster
Booboostwo · 13/07/2018 06:36

Now the window opened itself at 6am and any attempts to override the automated system just make other windows open. Why instal a noisy and complicated window system in a hospital? I can’t imagine what they will do with malfunctions in the winter...although given our luck we’ll probably be back to find out! The whole place has dodgy electrics, the lights come on all by themselves multiple times in the middle of the night. So much for the brand new wing...

OP posts:
SharkSave · 13/07/2018 07:37

YANBU at all. People are hideous in hospitals. I complained last time I was in to no avail, they just ignored the midwife. If I'd had to stay in any longer I'd have told them my bloody self.
Hope your DD makes a speedy recovery

daughterofanarchy · 13/07/2018 14:30

YANBU op. I’m sorry you are having a difficult time.
when my dad was in a coma in critical care unit a lady in the ward passed away. Immediately after this, about 20 (yea, really) of her relatives flooded the ward and started beating their chests and wailing really loudly (apparently it was a cultural/religious thing they did for a deceased person) - the nurse in charge was furious with how much upset it caused other families and as a result all relatives of all patients were told to leave the ward for a period of time. It ruined some of the final
Moments of time I had with my dad.

agedknees · 13/07/2018 14:41

People are becoming more and more selfish. Tell the ward manager.

Original poster
Booboostwo · 13/07/2018 14:57

That is an awful thing to have gone through daughterofanarchy, I am sorry.

OP posts:
daughterofanarchy · 13/07/2018 19:42

Thank you @booboostwo - it was very difficult to see. I’ve never seen anything like it before.

9amTrain · 13/07/2018 19:47

Yanbu.

Hospital wards should be as peaceful as possible. Everyone there pretty much feels unwell...

DiabolicalMess · 13/07/2018 22:06

You poor soul and your poor dc!!! I can completely relate, I had the same awful and stressful experience on maternity ward after having my ds in April. People constantly on their phones having really loud conversations, open visiting until 10pm, blaring tv and music on phones, children running around the ward, opening my curtain and trying to help themselves to my food out of my bag whilst I'm trying to breast feed, and sitting on the sofa outside my curtains wailing for a solid 40 minutes because he wanted to go home because he was bored. one woman on the ward thought that her baby was the only baby allowed to cry and rang for a nurse to complain every time my baby or another baby cried at night because it was disturbing her baby, even though my baby and I had sat and listened to her watching die hard 2 without headphones. It was so hot and so cramped!! On the first night I was up and about after c-section, Whilst trying to get back in bed i must have accidentally pushed the bed over slightly toward the side of the bay as the brakes weren't on, and I hadn't realised. It must have been like it for about 15-20'mins tops. The nurse who came in to do my observations told me how I needed to be more considerate of the other people on the ward as i was encroaching on my neighbour's space. I could have screamed as apparently I was the only one who was required to be considerate. It was the most stressful 2 days of my life - newborn baby struggling to breast feed, pain from operation, sleep deprivation and the most selfish people i have ever encountered in my whole life. So ThanksThanksCakeCakeBrew for you and Bear for your little one. Hope they feel better soon!!!

Readyfortheschoolhols · 13/07/2018 22:10

I had dd one NYE, kept in as had lots of dc previously, bay of 4 beds.
Woken up at midnight to staff giving good wishes to all!!
NYD was open all hours and the dm opposite had 8 visitors who came in pulling a food hamper and bottles of champagne....
I discharged myself and dd.

Luckymummy22 · 13/07/2018 22:12

YANBU. When my DD has a short stay in hospital it was clear my youngest wasn’t going to settle when inlaws brought him in. DH and I took him away for a bit whilst grandparents stayed with DD.

On the other hand we had a granny who had stayed overnight with her granddaughter moaning about the noise from a machine another child had. And how she couldn’t sleep.

It did make it difficult to sleep but who cares. Most important thing is the kids and if they need a machine to beep all night then so be it

SamanthaH92 · 13/07/2018 22:19

Yanbu!
I've only ever been in hospital to have my DD by section but by far the worst experiance. There was 4 of us in one room. My OH stuck to visiting leaving hours the young girl in the bed next to me, her partner stayed till early hours. Chanting football songs to the baby and talking extremley loud. She then spent from him leaving to returning on the phone all through out the night. Didn't even put her phone on silent. Watching videos very loud also. The nurses are so over worked and stressed out and that for us was a bad experience also but they were doing their best. I would maybe try speak to them though.

CrackerCrisp · 13/07/2018 22:44

I’m a nurse and there is no way I would let five adults and two toddlers sit at a patient’s bedside. We let two people visit and anyone else can wait outside or in the parent’s kitchen and take it in turns.