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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people should make an effort to keep noise down in a hospital ward

97 replies

Booboostwo · 12/07/2018 20:18

I am not having the best of time as I am in hospital again with DD so perhaps I am being grumpy, so perfectly happy to be told I am BU.

We are in a small ward, just four beds but as it is a children’s hospital understandably every child has a parent stay with them as well. Patients are at different times in their recovery, some just out of operations, some about to be discharged so understandably some children are livelier than others but am I BU to think that everyone should make more of an effort to be a bit more considerate with noise?

The child in the bed next to us had five adults and two toddlers visiting all afternoon. The toddlers took it in turn to scream, which is what toddlers do, but why keep them in hospital for so long when there are so many adults available to take them home? This child was also discharged by the end of the afternoon so I don’t even understand why so many people needed to visit in hospital

The other bed has a child who is watching TV and playing games on full volume and I mean really, really loud. Why not use earphones or lower the volume of at least the games? The visitors for that bed are having shouting conversations to be heard over the TV. The noise was so loud my DD could not hear me trying to read a book to her sitting right by her bed.

Am I BU to think people should be more considerate of other in a small space where there are some really sick children?

OP posts:
PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 13/07/2018 23:02

YANBU. Very inconsiderate.

Notcontent · 13/07/2018 23:03

You poor thing OP.

I do think people are actually becoming more selfish and inconsiderate, and there is this view that everyone should be free to do whatever they please, with no rules.

Original poster
Booboostwo · 01/08/2018 21:55

We’re back in hospital. It’s 21:50in a children’s ward and the woman next to us is talking on her phone on the speaker. It’s been going on for ten minutes. I am going to throttle her or I will chat with everyone I know at midnight and 6 am when DD has her infusions. There is a parents’ room she could go to before anyone tells me her phone call might be a world saving emergency (it is not, I can hear every word she says).

OP posts:
Original poster
Booboostwo · 01/08/2018 22:08

27 minutes later she put the phone down with the promise to ring later on!

OP posts:
Lulu2106 · 01/08/2018 22:15

Yanbu! When I had my ds I had a c section and arrived at the ward quite late, there was a woman opposite me who was on her phone all night, she was talking so loudly and I mean through the whole night! I was so annoyed as my baby was fast asleep and I was wide awake. The nurses would come and go and no one said a word to her! The following morning my dh came in, took one look at my face and moved me to the private ward. It was peace! Sorry you're going though this, it's a nightmare especially when your exhausted.

IceCreamFace · 01/08/2018 22:20

Bloody hell what is wrong with people! People seem to think unless there's a specific rule against something it's fair game. No thought of actually be voluntarily considerate!

Original poster
Booboostwo · 01/08/2018 22:26

She’s on the phone again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Booboostwo · 01/08/2018 22:30

I’ve asked the nurses twice and been told they don’t have a ward policy on noise and phones. Is this usual?

OP posts:
ladydickisathingapparently · 01/08/2018 22:33

I’m so sorry OP, it really is dreadful. I had a nightmare woman in the bed next to me after having ds3 (under GA so I felt pretty terrible when I came round) - multiple visitors of all ages (including kids climbing on my bed and waking ds3 up), babbling away and scraping their chairs, handing round takeaway food, peering in round the curtains, phone calls.....right past midnight when the nurses finally said “you really should go.”

Then she had the audacity to complain to the hospital that the midwives were “racist and unfriendly” when they had bent over backwards to accommodate her family.

I felt so sorry for them. The head midwife came and personally apologised to her and she was less than gracious in her response.

Maldives2006 · 01/08/2018 22:35

My deep condolences for everything you have been throughFlowers. It is common for some cultures to do that as relatives pass away but instead of the head nurse being furious she should have arranged a private area for the family to be with their relative.

That’s what is done in paediatrics it is quite eye opening how many people can fit in a hospital cubicle

boobiequestion · 01/08/2018 22:37

Op I really feel for you. Just tell her to shut up!

I know confrontation is hard sometimes but Christ she's being a dick! Thanks

Hope your DD is ok x

hamburgers · 01/08/2018 22:37

God OP that sounds awful and I'm sorry this is happening to you and your DD. There should be a no noise after 9pm policy or something so kids and parents can all rest and sleep!

I was once on a ward next to an elderly dementia patient. Poor thing had no clue what was going on and she was very ill but ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT she would scream and shout and talk to herself and call for the nurses. She'd keep the whole ward up all night. I was recovering from surgery and was ever so tired and just wanted to sleep and rest. The nurses eventually moved her to a private room... on the day I was discharged 🙈

ShapelyBingoWing · 01/08/2018 22:53

I’ve asked the nurses twice and been told they don’t have a ward policy on noise and phones. Is this usual?

On a children's ward at this time, it's a perfectly reasonable expectation that they'd step in and remind this parent that the children are trying to sleep. This sounds like a mixture of inconsiderate parents and apathetic staff and I'm so sorry they're worsening an already stressful experience. They should be promoting a restful environment. I'd personally cause quite a stink about this and let the staff know that complaints will be made about each of them personally should they take no steps to reduce the noise levels.

LighthouseSouth · 01/08/2018 22:53

I feel for you OP

In terms of "normal" I've spent a fair bit of time with parents in two different hospitals and have seen everything you describe. I have spoken to senior nurses about it, they very politely told me that they get so much abuse for asking people to be quiet, they have given up.

If you can't get quiet in a hospital, there really is no hope. As a society most people want noise I guess, I am misophonic so really struggle.

I'm guessing the reason the hospital didn't put single rooms in is because people like noise!

The window thing sounds batshit too. I really hope your DD is home soon.

BlancheM · 01/08/2018 22:54

Oh OP I'm really sorry to hear this. I can't get over how self centred people are!
As for there not being a policy, that doesn't sound right at all. Surely there's a policy to keep any noise down for the benefit of patients resting? Hope things improve- soon.

Original poster
Booboostwo · 01/08/2018 23:02

DD has been in hospital three times in three weeks so I am beginning to lose my sense of humour. I complained again and a nurse finally asked her to get off the phone at 22:45.

OP posts:
boobiequestion · 01/08/2018 23:06

Well done op. Hopefully she'll stop now. I can't believe someone would be so inconsiderate in the first place- what's wrong with people!!!

Hope you both manage to get some rest Thanks

flapjackfairy · 01/08/2018 23:08

I haven't even read full thread just leapt on to agree. I am in hosp with my child ATM and I fell asleep exhausted at 9 only to be woken up by people and nurses chatting at the bed across from me. I have ear plugs but to no avail. Having barely slept for days now I could cry . I feel your pain op x

AgentCooper · 01/08/2018 23:09

YANBU. What the hell is wrong with people, why are they so selfish these days?

The 8 days I spent in hospital while having DS last year (3 pre-birth, 5 post-birth) were among the worst of my life. There was no heed paid to the number of visitors permitted - every evening the 4 bed ward I was in was absolutely crawling with people pulling chairs in from various other places. It was so noisy. The radio was on in the nurses' station during the night.

I feel physically sick when I think about it. Flowers for you and your DD Booboo

Ollivander84 · 01/08/2018 23:14

I was lucky enough to have a side room for my spinal op. Wasn't impressed with being woken at about 1am (I came out of theatre at 4pm) to be asked to fill a menu in for lunch!!

Babyroobs · 01/08/2018 23:18

On the unit where I do some nursing work there have been a few complaints from patients about staff noise particularly at night so we have now been issued with a noisometer gadget which flsshes if the noise level gets to a certain point to remind us to pipe down !!

ShapelyBingoWing · 01/08/2018 23:25

On the unit where I do some nursing work there have been a few complaints from patients about staff noise particularly at night so we have now been issued with a noisometer gadget which flsshes if the noise level gets to a certain point to remind us to pipe down !!

They have something similar in my hospital's cat3 NICU (I'm a student paeds nurse.) I was absolutely fascinated by the thing and there are other wards in the hospital whose staff are so inconsiderate on a night shift that I strongly believe they should be rolled out across the hospital to police night time noise.

RaspberryPi1 · 01/08/2018 23:30

Yabu. You have no idea what the other patients are going through.

You might not like it. But this is our NHS.
For whatever reason if this doesn't work for you, private health care is available.

Your feelings don't trump another patient. I appreciate it might not be great for you. But you shouldn't take that out on others.

flapjackfairy · 01/08/2018 23:33

I seem to have the world's loudest nurse looking after the child opposite. She has s loud high pitched voice and the two relatives and her are having a high old time laughing and chatting. But what can I say when they are making plans to take home a child that cannot be helped anymore. It is everyone's worst nightmare so I will have to suffer .

ShapelyBingoWing · 01/08/2018 23:34

RaspberryPi1. It is a children's hospital. At this hour, what those children should be going through is sleep. If their parents want to be noisy, they need to go elsewhere.