To think they made a mountain out of a molehill

[Sophisticatedsarcasm]

Backstory :
DS 10 has asd and is very interested in making his own videos etc and he posts them on you tube. He has many subscribers, actually has the most subscribers in his school. Some of the boys are Trying to get more subscribers but are failing miserably, my son started to help them but when they started doing football videos he wasn’t interested anymore and backed away. One of the boys wrote a comment on one of his videos which had all the vibes of jealousy. DS was showing some of his other friends this morning how pathetic (his words not mine) that boy was and his friends said he should report it to the the teachers, so que a 15min phone to my DP who didn’t even know about the comment, from the deputy head. She basically said he was too young to have a you tube account and that we should be checking what he does online. I do check every night when he’s gone to bed, which he doesn’t know about so he doesn’t try to hide anything, he always tells us anyway if he has a problem. We had a meeting on Tuesday with his senco who is an assistant head who was aware about his social media and iPad interactions and she never said anything.
I understand my DS brought it to their attention, however he was only talking about the comment. Surely it’s up to his parents wether he has an YouTube account, I don’t feel like chastising me for letting my son express himself in a non threatening way is at all on. I subscribe to his channel so I can see what he posts and am very much on top of all of his online activities and he doesn’t even try to hide. I understand they have a duty of care but in this day and age literally all of year 4,5,6 all have most of the social media outlets.
So AIBU

You obviously didn't even realise you could disable the comments. Otherwise, surely you'd have already done it.

I really don't understand the point of this thread. I have a year 5 DS who would love to be a you tuber, but doesn't have an account; nor do anyone of his friends. They're 9/10 - way too young.

YABU.

I’m not a holy than thou parent, far from it, his iPad is linked to mine so I know what website hes on through browsing history which I check regularly, I check his YouTube and roblox account, snapchat all of which I check once he’s gon3 to b3d, h3 doesn’t know so has no reason to delete. A few things hes watched online I’ve warned him about and he usually steers clear. This is one of the few things he’s good at (making videos) and tech stuff so I don’t wanna make a big deal about it. He has regular chats with his friends and they often do videos together. He wasn’t happy about me disabling the comments in case one of his friends want to comment but he understood.

you put videos on you tube to be watched and commented on you need to be mature enough to take positive and negative comments about them and a comment with "vibes of jealously" doesn't sound particularly bad.

some kids might be mature and resilient enough to let the potential negativity wash over them when they are younger than 10, other cant. if he is anxious or folds under peer pressure I would suggest he isn't mature enough to be posting videos yet.

Your ds is 10 and on YouTube. He and his mates are promoting him at school. You’re pissed off with school and safeguarding. Talk at defending the indefensible!

Generally he doesn’t pay attention to the comments unless they are from his friends.

Poor parenting to allow your 10year old child to have a youtube channel. Seems like you are intent on justifying it. Seriously?

Here we go again. OP - AIBU? Other posters - yes you are? OP - No I'm not & I'm not listening ...

And what you really dont seem to get is this is exactly why he should not have his own channel. These comments happened after school hours and now the school is dragged in to sort it out because parents like you cant do the right thing.

I think you are being pretty niave tbh. Pretty much all his friends have an acct. As a mother of a 13 year old boy I can assure you that you will hear that so much... But mum everyone has call of duty everyone is on twitter, everyone is allowed to stay out till 10.30 and so on. Speak to other mothers you will find they are all pedalling the same line.

Also he has the most subscribers in the school??? Do you know who all these people are who are interacting with your son??

I think the school are completely right.. You need to be much more aware of what's going on online

I stand by my decision to let him go on you tube but I’m not the only one. It’s not bad parenting just because I let my son go on YouTube. He’s not out bullying others, he’s a great lad, he does have problems and no he’s not an angel but the teachers are always telling me what a great pleasure he is, he’s very polite. He has a wonderful sense of humour and is loved my most of his class. I’ve brought him to respect his elders and others and sometimes his ASD can get in the way of that. I’m in the SE i moved from london where I know it’s pretty normal to have an account at that age. I’m confident enough in my checks and rules and he hasn’t broken one yet.
There’s kids out there bullying, stabbing each other, beating each other up but I’m the bad parent for letting my son use you tube 🤔 I grew up in a shit area of london and my parenting is fucking amazing compared to most of the parenting I witnessed, I was lucky my mum and dad were great parents too.

My DS had a YT account at that age, as did at least three of his friends. Just wanted to say that because I suspect a few people are reading and thinking the same but not wanting to admit it!

He’s about 5 years older than your DS now, no ill-effects that I can see.

I understand that teachers don’t need the hassle of sorting YT-related arguments in the playground, but in my experience it’s not that unusual for KS2 kids to do this. My DS and his friends just posted endless game play stuff - boring beyond belief and their only subscribers were each other

Kids have to learn to navigate this stuff; this is the world they’re growing up in. Learning that some people online are nasty, and that posting from behind a screen prompts very different behaviour from being face-to-face, and how you should handle it, and when to walk away, are all crucial life lessons for this generation.

The deputy wouldn’t know all this was going on, because it’s not happening in school, and 10 years olds shouldn’t have YouTube accounts anyway! It was nothing to do with school, so any ruffled feathers on your part is nothing to do with them. Once brought to their attention though it becomes a safeguarding issue, and they have to investigate and inform parents of their findings; so school did not make a mountain out of a molehill and you are the unreasonable person in this instance.

I’ve already said I’ve been u about complaining about the school, I don’t take too well to be called a bad parent though.
Yes he has the most subscribers but like I said it’s just gameplay, game walkthroughs no personal videos, yes people comment but unless it’s a friend from school he won’t answer.

Generally he doesn’t pay attention to the comments unless they are from his friends.

This thread only exists because he obviously very much does pay attention to the (negative) comments.

but I’m the bad parent for letting my son use you tube

Nobody said you were a bad parent - people are just responding to the premise of your thread - that the school are making a mountain out of a molehill - and disagreeing with you. You did ask.

If they are really just of gameplay then it's not a big deal.

People can be very jumpy about this sort of thing for no real reason.

I would tell him to leave the teachers out of it from now on as it has nothing to do with them and just continue to keep a close eye on what he is putting out there.

Do you watch his stuff before it gets posted?

Your 10 year old has snapchat too? are you serious?

you are upset school involvement.but awfully they had to.and saying your son doesn't have a problem is contradicting his actions.hes told his teacher because it obviously did effect him.and you say he tell only stuf...but then this must have hurt more as he has gone passed you on this needing to take it to someoe else ie the teacher.

@thedowagercuntess
But someone did say it’s bad parenting... further up unlike some people I read all the thread carefully before answering. I already admitted I 2as being unreasonable several times. I just find it hard to believe that this area is the only place full of 10 year olds on YouTube. I understand safeguarding more than you believe. I know my DS brought it to thier attention whic I wish he didn’t as I already knew about the situation and was handling it here. But there’s nothing I can do about that now.

he tells only you* and ur the one he comes to...

then the fact he bought it to their attention means he didn't feel it was being dealt with and didn't feel contained/safe with this.
are you really going to tell him not to go to his teachers if he feel he needs help!

@ignorina
No I don’t for everything, however with me being subscribed I get a notification when he does and I instantly check it out. He’s never posted anything unsuitable. Me knows the rules and what will happen if he breaks them, we will remove his iPad from him and for him that’s like the worse thing in the world!

All yr 4,5,6 do NOT have 'all the usual' social media accounts. My DD is yr5 and I would not let her have a YT account. She played Minecraft Roblox, but then that thing came round the schools about paedophiles and sex rooms on the latter, so we took her off that.

YABU on all counts. I suspect you're just a bit chuffed that your dc has "loads of followers".... which is a parenting FAIL.

Don't compare parentally allowed internet use to "kids stabbing each other" - that is disingenuous in the extreme. Not many primary aged kids "stab each other" - the teens stabbing each other are generally gang related - and do not exist to provide you with an excuse for lax parental control over internet use.

He only went to teachers becaus some of his friends said it was bullying when it really wasn’t. It basically said ‘ boi’ ‘ you’ve got no content’
Which is just a stupid remark, I was waiting to see if anything else was posted but I suspect it won’t now as he told the boy he knew it was him. And that was it and just like that they were chatting normally. If it does escalate I will do as I see fit and if I feel the school need to know I will let them. It certainly wasn’t something to go to the school with, which is why I didn’t in the first place.

YANBU. I had a YouTube at around 11 but I didn't make videos - just subscribed to people and left comments, created playlists, that sort of thing. Although, I don't think I'd be happy about DD at that age making videos with her face in it, but voiceovers of gameplay or images etc (as loads of YouTube videos do) I think I'd be fine with, as it's not actively identifying, especially if a psydeonym is used etc. I suppose it depends on the content.

Quite a lot of us had Habbo back in Year 5/6, and I met a met a German pen-pal through IMVU then too.